Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Jill)

what is a counter card?

(Submitted by Gabrielle)

I'm thinking it's a greeting card due to the comments about the ones purchased around Mother's Day. Although, I thought those might read "greeting card". But, what do I know?

(Submitted by donkeyschool)

That "Indwelling Book" came out on Tuesday!

(Submitted by Betsy)

Yo, Derek!That's the extent of your Memorial Day weekend shopping?Something none of us even understand what it is? Please explain....

(Submitted by Ben)

I think it's because the cards are at the counter. Plus don't you need permission to put Manager Matt Krieg's name on the net? What if he has a stalker who doesn't know where's he been? Do you realize what you might have done? Oh God when will it end?!

(Submitted by not Emo)

Was it a "Happy Memorial Day" card? Or maybe Matt Kreig's birthday is coming up soon? Is the Pez dispenser the gift that's going along with the card? These burning questions need to be answered.

(Submitted by amy)

this site is just halarious sometimes

(Submitted by glow worm)

I miss the good ol'days when Derek bought human skulls and condos for his Wal*Mart Chore Boy.....

(Submitted by Associate of the Year)

ATTENTION WALMART SHOPPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!HELL NO!!!! We don't have any in the back. It's all out here. All of it. Really. They have some at KMart...go there. I'll get over it.

(Submitted by hellodolly)

i just discovered the strange--yet alluring--cultish draw of this unorthodox website. xcellent

(Submitted by Lucas)

I just discovered this webpage on May 28, 2000 (the day of this purchase) In just this one night I have looked at every single last god-forsaken receipt and read every little comment. Some funny some stupid. I have to say that this site is quite a peice of work. It has humored and disgusted me. I wanted to quit reading when I got to March of '98 but somehow I thought it would all be a waste if I didn't get to the end. I thought that maybe if I got to the end I would feel some satisfaction. But all I feel is deeply disturbed and I am upset that this chunk of my life is gone. But I will definately tell my friends and get them addicted to it. It's a mean joke but they need to be punished anyway.

(Submitted by Lucas)

This is one looooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

<--snipped by Derek, upon request of visitors-->

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooong comment. Thank you goodnight.

(Submitted by Lucas)

Lestat here. You know who I am? Then skip the next few paragraphs. For those whome I have not met bfore, I want this to be love at first sight.Behold: your hero for the duration, a perfect imitation of a blond, blue-eyed, six-foot Anglo-Saxon male. A

<--snipped by Derek, upon request of visitors-->

own story and he wants you to understand it, and that it is the very best story he has right now to tell.If that's not enough, read something else.If it is, then read on. In chains, to my friend and my scribe, I dictated these words. Come with me. Just listen to me. Don't leave me alone. THAT WAS THE PROLOGUE TO A BOOK "MEMNOCH THE DEVIL" TO HEAR MORE OF THE STORY TUNE IN LATER FOR CHAPTER 1.

(Submitted by melon)

you suck dude. go home.

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Yo. Vampire Boy, unless you buy your toothpaste, strident, and lithium at Wal*Mart, we don't want to hear about it. I think your parents need one of those computer child protector set-ups to prevent innocent sites like this one from prepubescents who've read Anne Rice....eeekkkkk. What's their number, I'm gonna call them.

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Remember when Derek bought the horse clock? Ah...the salad days...the human skull was fun too and, by the way, whatever happened to ChoreBoy...I can't imagine he really moved into that condo and left Derek. I simply don't believe it.

(Submitted by Mike)

I once bought a plastic reindeer at WalMart. I shot it that night. Momma always said shed never had a better meal in her life.

(Submitted by glow worm)

YES!!!! The subtle elegance and sophistication of a Wal*Mart Horse Clock gracing the wall of a house CANNOT be underestimated.

(Submitted by not Emo)

There are 108 horse clocks for sale on eBay this evening. Could one of them be Derek's? Maybe their popularity is waning. I imagine some of them are being sold to raise cash to meet margin calls. If I needed to raise cash, the very first thing I'd sell would be my horse clock. They are not a good investment - unless you have the one with Elvis riding on the horse. That's a classic.

(Submitted by Pixel)

I will always treasure the memories of the hairy scar....(and to aswer the question from a few reciepts ago, no I don't have a total of the times he used cash vs credit card, but I think cash was used in only about 10 purchases)

(Submitted by fembadt)

I just found this site today, and how strange, but oddly clever. On the advice of other commentators, I checked out Derek's homepage to find out more about this guy...and would you believe that I actually went to high school with Derek? I am stunned! I had no idea!

(Submitted by AHHH!)

hey, Can someone anyone please post the URL to Derek's homepage? I wanna see the person behind this website.

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Pixel, you're making me tear up here...*blinking eyes*

(Submitted by elmoswife)

Oh no I'm now addicted to Wal-Mart recipts! Is there a 12 step program for this?

(Submitted by Laura)

I work at a greeting card store, and a counter card is any sort of greeting card. Like birthday cards or get well or sympathy or whatever. I have no clue why they are called that, but they are. So the question is: who was the card for?

(Submitted by dave)

This man has a lot of VISAcards. This man is single. This man is not smart enoughto give extra cents to get hischange back in a whole numberamount.

(Submitted by Lucas' Mother)

Please disregard my little boy's paranoia with vampires. He once saw Bram Stoker's Dracula and has been poking the neighbor's cats for blood ever since. It's been hard on him since his father ran off with his whore of a secretary. Lucas just couldnt accept it. He imagined that his father was dracula and wanted to join him in the undead. I only wished his father was dead. Anyways, my little boy is seeing a psychiatrist and occasionally makes his way down to the blood bank (Only to watch the doctors work). Thank you for understanding and remind him that if he is on after 9pm that he will be grounded. He is such a cute little boy, unlike his bastard of a father!

(Submitted by Jeb)

The messages seem to be getting progressively longer. How about a ground rule - if you have the desire to write a comment longer than, say 100 words, please keep it to yourself, or, here's an idea, GO HAVE A FACE-TOFACE INTERACTION WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING FOR A CHANGE! Wow, what a concept!

(Submitted by Lucas' Father)

It's just like you to blame Lucas condition on me when you're the one smothering him. I tried to make a man of him but you wouldn't let him out the house. Well I'm out of the house now and Greeneyes and I have never been happier. I only hope that Lucas can free himself from that icy crypt you call a home. A nice trip to Wal-Mart would be good for him. He could get some pot-pourri and plants. That could be the turning point for the kid. For God sakes Lucas, if you're reading this, get to Wal-mart and save yourself. I love you son!

(Submitted by Jeb)

Th' messages seem t'be gittin' progressively longer. How about a groun' rule - eff'n yo' haf th' desuhe t'writea comment longer than, say 100 wo'ds, please keep it t'yo'seff, o', hyar's an idea, Git have a face-to-faceinterackshun wif t'other hoomin brin' fo' a change! Wow, whut a corncepp! Fry mah hide!

(Submitted by Jeb)

De messages seem t'be digtin' progressively longer. Ah be baaad... How about some ground rule - if ya'gots de desire t'scribble some comment longa' dan, say 100 wo'ds, please keep it t'yo'self, o', here's anidea, Go gots some face-to-face interacshun wid anoder human brin' fo' some change! Right on! Wow,whut some concept! Right on!

(Submitted by Jeb)

Ethay essagesmay eemsay otay ebay ettinggay ogressivelypray ongerlay. Owhay aboutyay ayay oundgrayuleray - ifyay youay avehay ethay esireday otay itewray ayay ommentcay ongerlay anthay, aysay 100ordsway, easeplay eepkay ityay otay yourselfay, oryay, ere'shay anyay ideayay, Ogay avehay ayayace-to-facefay interactionyay ithway anotheryay umanhay ingbray orfay ayay angechay! Owway, atwhayayay onceptcay!

(Submitted by Jeb)

De messages seem to be getting pwogwessivewy wongew. How about a gwound wuwe - if you have thedesiwe to wwite a comment wongew than, say 100 wowds, pwease keep it to youwsewf, ow, hewe's anidea, Go have a face-to-face intewaction wif anothew human bwing fow a change! Wow, what a concept!

(Submitted by bla bla bla )

I would just like to say that not only is this the dumbest website that has ever occupied my time so intently but that the university of dayton is the most profound educational institution in the world.

(Submitted by god)

ok, now where did I leave that [smite] key....?

(Submitted by Who TH Cares)

Chapter IIT is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

<--snipped by Derek, upon request of visitors-->

``But I can assure you,'' she added, ``that Lizzy does not lose much by not suiting his fancy; for he is a most disagreeable, horrid man, not at all worth pleasing. So high and so conceited that there was no enduring him! He walked here, and he walked there, fancying himself so very great! Not handsome enough to dance with! I wish you had been there, my dear, to have given him one of your set downs. I quite detest the man.''

(Submitted by Dalliance)

oh dear, sounds like somebody had one too many Mountain Dews. 'Pride and Prejudice'..well at least the literary quality is improving. Anyone else hoping Derek buys some DUCT TAPE on his next Wal*Mart visit?

(Submitted by randall)

At first I thought you might have a problem. But after reading some of the comments submitted, Your prettymuch head and shoulders above the rest.

(Submitted by Owen)

Cool.

(Submitted by Peach)

Oh my gosh! When I first stumbled on this site I felt really really sorry for you Derek.. I mean.. after all, you really need to get out more if you've got time to scan in all of your WalMart reciepts. BUT.. that was only on first thought, once I realized that I had sat here and READ all of your reciepts, I've determined I'M the one who needs a new life. I have to tell you though, for some reason beyond me, this has been one of the funniest sites I've seen in ages.... Keep up the shopping! Oh.. and I hope you don't mind, but I HAVE to link to this site from mine. It definitely qualifies for the wacky sites category. www.perfectlypeach.com

(Submitted by chia)

what was once a funny page...has turned into a "cool place to hang out". you people suck.

(Submitted by dante)

canto 1, lines 1-9when i had journeyed half of our life's way,i found myself within a shadowed forest,for i had lost the path that does not stray.Ah, it is hard to speak of what it was, that savage forest, dense and difficult,which even in recall renews my fear:so bitter- death is hardly more severe!but to retell the good discovered there,i'll also tell the other things i saw....

(Submitted by heif)

www.pedromendelbaum.com

(Submitted by abdi)

There are three things that you should never turn away from:1. sex2. food3. life

(Submitted by not Emo)

Uh...Derek...I think it would be O.K. for you to edit out some of the non-wal*mart "noise" on this page. Hey, I'm not advocating book burning or anything...just a little cleaning up.

(Submitted by searcher)

PLEASE will someone tell me how to find Derek's home page? The curiosity is killing me!

(Submitted by Lauren, Ralph)

My 1st thought at finding this site was "get a life", 2nd thought was "this could be dangerous" posting personal info on the web (I mean I know the walmart is in Minnesota and I'm 4000 miles away), there are mad men out there. 3rd thought "these comments are funny" except for those submited by dracula boy, and my final thought "This makes sense" create a dumb website have people provide some dumb comment and their email address and later sell it the addresses to ecommerce and MLM vultures. Derek, you are my hero, there is no better to make money than this.

(Submitted by Anon Krieg)

I am alarmed at the relatively low frequency of Derek's visit to Wal-Mart. Remember the halcyon days in 1997 when he visited every third day in December? Time to sell your Wal-Mart stock.

(Submitted by polack)

I checked the home page and Derek noticed a lot of links from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer website. No kidding. Thus explains the excrutiating vampire boy story that is attempting to suck the life out of Derek's web site.What's the ASCI character for a cross? Is there some key combination we could use to defend Derek and Wal-Mart receipts from the undead?t T + l l__l__ l l l

(Submitted by polack)

Sorry, I tried to make a cross with [l] and underscores but the [return]s didn't take holdgarlic garlic garlic

(Submitted by wow)

note to lauren, ralph (the noted fashion designer i presume?) i don't think there's much money to be made off selling these particular addresses...at least, not many of them :) most were bought during a clearance sale at wal*mart i believe...

(Submitted by Hungry One)

I figured I would look for a site that is ridiculous, because a co-worker got me intrigued. The receipts... I hardly read any of them, I got intrigued at the comments. I am sitting here READING this mess... while I am starving. My little boy, in the meantime, has totally wrecked the room, without me knowing it... and is playing with a curtain rod from WHO know WHAT room of the house. Am I hateful because of this? No, I just want to thank you for giving me something BETTER to do than to sit and read these comments.... and write my own... Well, it's time I clean the house, abd play with my kid.

(Submitted by weberm)

This lengthy message stuff has to stop. This site is too addictingly good to have to put up with all this vampire junk.

(Submitted by April W)

I'm thinking someone needs therapy........and it's NOT Derek!!!! Hmmmmmmmmm....

(Submitted by I am not an animal)

So THAT's why Derek bought the Duct tape - to stick the WalMart receipts together a la Dave style. Very clever. Hence, I guess, the need to no longer buy dri-bottoms.

(Submitted by Derek, your God)

Due to popular request, I've shortened the irrelevant quotes, but unfortulately I can't delete them altogether because your responses to them have made then relevant to the continuity of this page :) For the naysayers, please note that I DO avoid censorship at all costs, and have only deleting things once before, when two idiots used a single receipt as a chat room (100K of their chit-chat was too much).

(Submitted by not Emo)

"your God"? You've got a great site and an interesting bunch of visitors. But YOU ain't my GOD! Derek - don't let the fame go to your head. (I know. When I die, the angel at the gate is probably gonna say; "Derek The Almighty wants you to go to hell".) Anyway, nice job on the editing.

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Dear not Emo, I *think* Derek is referring to himself in terms of his being the 'Super User' of this site - that is often in Geek Lingo (no offense God) referred to as the 'God' since he controls everything. Either that or perhaps we should all "get thee to a Wal*Mart" ASAP

(Submitted by Derek)

No, actually I _am_ thinking of myself in divine terms!

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Ahhhh...thanks for clueing me in, Divine One...I suppose from now I'll be screaming 'O Derek, O Derekkkkkk" during those moments of intense...um...uh...ummm...intensity. And I suppose this means that Chore Boy is now the Pope?

(Submitted by not Emo)

Well Derek, MY God takes American Express. I'll bet YOU don't.

(Submitted by LAKYN)

THIS SITE IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN, BUT OH SO FUNNY!! I CANT BELIEVE IM ACTUALLY LOOKING THROUGH A BUNCH OF RECEIPTS WITH SUCH COMMON THINGS ON THEM AND LAUGHING ABOUT IT. HOW SICK IS THAT.

(Submitted by Djeri Falwell)

Is anyone here vaguely disturbed by Derek's censorship tendencies? Doesn't this make you wonder whether he's showing us EVERYTHING that he bought at WalMart? Do you think he might be hiding a few things, like embroidery kits, or bowling shoes, or god forbid, those tools of Satan, staple removers?

(Submitted by Jorgen Clug)

I tell you, that sneaky pedro mendelbaun link back there was pretty damn hot! Hoo boy, I'm still smokin'! Wipe my face down ma!

(Submitted by mellow yellow)

Speaking of being brief, what would Ralph's WALSPEAKesque item descriptors look like? I mean, they'd be pretty boring after the first one or two, wouldn't they? RED BRIEF, WHITE BRIEF, BLEW BRIEF... well, okay, that last one could be pretty interesting...

(Submitted by macboysf)

Oh Derek, I am sorry but I will continue to scream out "Oh God"... instead of "Oh Derek" while in the sanctuary of my bed... for fear I may get slapped by those who are not named Derek!

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

DOES MATT READ TO HIS CUSTOMERS?

(Submitted by Mike the Dyke )

I firmly support the "censorship" that derek did. None of you who opposed it had to look at the drivel. And i even firmlier support the fact that he is indeed "God".

(Submitted by gern blandston )

Where's the cat?????