Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Norman Rockwell )

A very jovial 1st poster dance!!

(Submitted by nark )

Yes first time on this website and im second. Hey whats a white globe? and wow you used up that 409 quikly, why do you need to do so much cleaning?

(Submitted by Scarface )

What in the world is going on over there? Another white globe, more cleaning supplies, scads of previously bought paper towels, JEEZ!!! What kind of a mess are you making? I just hope the razors are for you, and not the cat. That's a little TOO kinky, even for me. If the next purchase involves Band- Aids, we'll know for sure.

(Submitted by jmac )

gonna do some cleaning on labor day that mtdew should give you some energy!!

(Submitted by Chiquita )

Hi all! Der, I really don't think you need a new prsonna, let alone a twin. Your personality is just fine already. We love you just the way you are.

(Submitted by Call me Sherlock and hand me a White Globe )

HAH!!! I told you guys...He IS a Simease twin..I mean, how much more proof do you need??? PERSONA TWIN???

(Submitted by ecstaticchic )

oooo, white globe, oooo

(Submitted by Freud )

Screw Mushu and the Compubank he rode in on.

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

O Dalliance! Still no snickers... and the purchases he DID make make up the anagram: Enfant-terrible? Whistling womb doll ? Pew! A subtle signal?

(Submitted by Chiqca )

The globe is looking a little dingy. Pass the 409 please. Thank you. Thank you very much.

(Submitted by lieu )

He lives up north in Minnesota or somethin' right? Course he's gonna go for the TWINkies.

(Submitted by mellow yellow )

i see your validation code has changed. did you finally quit shoplifting tampex? "attention shoppers! need a price check on little wings for the single guy in aisle six"

(Submitted by rabbit redux )

Attention K-Mart shoppers...oh, sorry...um...Hi, welcome to Walgreens...no...no... *Damn, I know they won't like me now* Hi, and thank you for shopping at Target...oh, nevermind Please love me

(Submitted by findingphoenix )

grandparent's day? sept 10th? i had no idea there was such a thing. do i get off work for this day? should i inform my boss?

(Submitted by Mrs. Eunice Gutrumble )

My young nephew Winston who is about to retire next month with such a nice watch called us yesterday when his birthday check had still not arrived. We were just sitting down to a nice bran dinner about 4:30 and he told me "Aunt Eunice, you're such an uncle fucker." I geuss he's right since I do like to give Edgar the old german helmet buff every September 10th after bingo. Such a nice nephew. Such a spectacular vocabulary. Thank you.

(Submitted by Edgar )

That boy Winston got locked in the lavatory as a young pup right after I left a right powerful steamer in there. Never has been the same since, nope.

(Submitted by Scarface )

If you ever need cleaning supplies to perform that "helmet buff", I know a place up in Minnesota...

(Submitted by susieonprozac )

:) :) :) :) :) :):) I think he must have accidentally dropped the first white globe while under the influence of MTDEW and probably more than a little hampered by the tool belt and the duo thingy

(Submitted by in lieu of cash )

VISA TEND to be overused.

(Submitted by walfix )

Do you burn all these receipts in the winter to stay warm? You could build a big bonfire if you lit them all at once but they'd probably topple over and hurt someone.

(Submitted by hefty load )

i had an accident on my cycle once. got to peddling too hard and filled my poop panties. another time i went around a corner too fast and got it up on two wheels, again causing my panties to fill with poop. course, this was a couple of years back.

(Submitted by another load of crap )

it was also during the winter and in the cold air that warm load began to give off smoke. i guess you could say i had my very own steamer trunk.

(Submitted by Get a load of this - 2 )

Do you save used POOP PANTIES and burn them in the winter as fireplace logs? I'll bet a cord of them stacked in the back yard curing over the summer would do wonders for neighbor relations. Lethal Weapon 5 - Napalm Neighborhood!

(Submitted by slinging in the rain )

they ought to sell gas masks right next to the poop panty aisle. or clothespins. or remote control robots. or garden hose spray nozzels. or slingshots. hey, i think i'll patent the "slingshit".

(Submitted by lieu lieu )

dal, abi, chiq, suz, ms mamm, where y'all be?

(Submitted by confused )

what is a white globe? is it something you inject with mountain dew?

(Submitted by Winston Gutrumble )

I love the smell of uncle fucking in the morning.

(Submitted by Andre )

Hey Dalliance, it's the 409 refill again, care to flick your hair in that special way for me?

(Submitted by Freud )

Hey I see poopie pants found us. How ya doing pal? Gonna post your website here?

(Submitted by Freud )

Never mind Poopie Pants I'll post it for you. http://www.homestead.com/poopi eshowse/

(Submitted by Freud )

http://www.homestead.com/poopi eshowse/

(Submitted by Freud )

remove the space between i & e for the link to work or maybe Derek will set us up.

(Submitted by Andre )

Gee Freud, I wish I could chuck over a half eaten banana too. No offence to Chiquita.

(Submitted by Björn Ulvæus )

Chiquita, let me hear you sing once more like you did before, sing a new song, Chiquita

(Submitted by Abi )

lieu babes - I'm here, just a mite distracted - I'll be back later - big snogs to you all!! xxxxx

(Submitted by Abi )

lieu babes - I'm here, just a mite distracted - I'll be back later - big snogs to you all!! xxxxx

(Submitted by Abi )

lieu babes - I'm here, just a mite distracted - I'll be back later - big snogs to you all!! xxxxx

(Submitted by Abi )

Hey Terry - where's this shirtless photo then, huh! A girl can only wait so long! I'll swap you a White Globe dipped in Mt Dew, how's that for an offer.

(Submitted by Abi )

wow - I'm in triplicate - how did that happen?

(Submitted by Terry )

Ill have to get back to you on that...right now I'm eating a banana and polishing my white globe. (by the way, nice "threesome")

(Submitted by Abi )

waiting with bated breath - enjoy the globe! (How's the new teeth??)

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Dear Abi, Oh God, I'm so sorry but I didn't take any pictures of Terry without his shirt on..okay, so, it was all in my imagination...I do that sometimes...But I can draw you a picture. Would you like the shirt-less or the whole she-bang rendition? Lieu...Babyyyyyyy...kiss and nibble..did you and Andre get my last receipt posts?? I fear they may have gotten overlooked in all the flurry of new receipt excitement!!

(Submitted by Baby Shmp )

Andre...*flicking hair and smiling seductively* isn't it time you took me for another tour of your kitchen now that we have a new white globe and a prsonna twin????

(Submitted by Abi )

Dal - what can I say - oh well, I'll just have to live with the disappointment - never mind.....

(Submitted by in lieu of convention )

Hey Dal & Normal Abi. "last receipt posts??" No, but will check right after I finish demonstrating all my Ronco appliances for you in my spanking new bitchin' kitchen. Me thinks you'll really enjoy the automatic peanut butter & jelly spreader and the 2 quart chicken loin baster best. My fav is, of course, the tequila-powered bannana peeler. Attention shoppers!

(Submitted by John Q. Pubic )

What the l?

(Submitted by Curly )

WHITE GLOBEtrotters are probably worth about $1.94.

(Submitted by Meadowlark )

On a good day.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

Andre, I'll have no disparaging remarks about bananas. They are a fine product of nature.

(Submitted by Abi - back to normal )

heey lieu - a bitchin' kitchin - wowee, is it full of spanky new bakeware too?? D'you know I found a whole load of those triple x garlic balls in my freezer yesterday - it bought back such fond memories of days gone by...

(Submitted by in lieu of reed )

hey abi, what do vampires not want to find in their duo belt?

(Submitted by Earl Moore )

I feel sick again.

(Submitted by Alice Head )

My scalp itches.

(Submitted by Ilene Over )

How do you pee with a woody?

(Submitted by Wendy Bottoms )

Beans. I can't just eat one.

(Submitted by Anne Alstat )

I prefer the back seat.

(Submitted by Linda Hand )

Do you need some help?

(Submitted by Pierre Altime )

I have a small bladder.

(Submitted by Pearl Nicklaus )

You'll tell me beforehand, right?

(Submitted by Rosy Wallace )

Liza Minelli's is still bigger than mine.

(Submitted by Bob Peters )

What do you want to do on our anniversary?

(Submitted by Chic Ita )

What's your favorite dessert?

(Submitted by Hugh G. Johnson )

Are you, ummm, you know...

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Ilene Over, you should talk to Terry about the Flying Nun.

(Submitted by lieu )

actually chic, i recommend the flying hun, getting a hand from your mate.

(Submitted by Terry )

Not that there's anything WRONG with that, Chic, but I don't think I wanna discuss that with another guy. Might I suggest hanging a WHITE GLOBE on it, and letting gravity do the rest.

(Submitted by Derek Peters )

This website gives me an erector set.

(Submitted by Chiq )

Oops, I'm getting all my men mixed up. [Ed. the Flying Nun is hereby properly credited to lieu]

(Submitted by in lieu of lewd and lascivious behavior )

Agreed Ter. Only bi-kes discussed here. Can yours still make it to the mart?

(Submitted by Terry )

Yeah, in the back of a trailer.

(Submitted by lieu )

no prob, chic. the white globe was busy in the terlet and thus unavailable to illuminate you.

(Submitted by in lieu of steed )

Now Chiquita, if'n you're mixing your men then you might best consider getting your Utopian Tubes tied.

(Submitted by in lieu of peed )

oh, and i think it was terry that first described the nun's activities to us. did you see j. carey's scene in me, myself and irene?

(Submitted by Ms. )

Don't you mean Fallopian?

(Submitted by lieu )

No silly, them's books in the Bible. You know, 1st and 2nd Fallopians.

(Submitted by Andre )

Chiquita, so as I don't impugn myself (this is not a song by Bjorn, by the way), my banana reference arises from Freud's link to the panty pooper, or whatever s/he is. I have seen strange websites, and then I have seen the panty pooper. I am now off to visit 2 September, hold on everybody, I will be back.

(Submitted by Andre )

...ah, the videos, Dalliance you sure you don't mind them being a bit, you know, slimy do you? I think one or two got caught up in the Great Nozzle Accident of 2000 as well, I'm afraid.

(Submitted by Andre )

Actually, Baby Shmp, do you mind bringing your other *ahem* playmates along? Terry, Lieu, and especially Derek? We can dress them up as Rhoda, Lou (fittingly enough, there is symmetry in the world), and Cloris Leachman whose MTM name I always forget (it's sooo easy to do). Then we can dance and giggle and flick and play oops where's the apono bulb and mind my wide white belt and who's the liberated woman today then? and that sort of stuff. So much fun.

(Submitted by glowworm )

Uncle Andre, please tell us about The Great Nozzle Accident of 2000.

(Submitted by Terry )

...and keep your apono bulb away from my oops.

(Submitted by Dragon )

Http://lightning.prohosting.com/~wyski/

(Submitted by Baby Shmp )

Ahem? who is Ahem? Is he one of my playmates too? No, wait, isn't Ahem the guy that The Flying "Attila" Hun brought to my last Apono Bulb Party? And Andre, can I help it if none of you guys wants to make an honest woman out of me??

(Submitted by in lieu of lou )

Okay, once and for all... is it UNCLE Andre or AUNT Andre or cousin PAT???

(Submitted by in lieu of cue )

Could it be? Baby Shemp? Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk! What gives, o keeper of the sterno?

(Submitted by in lieu of magoo )

I was in the Big Easy a couple of years ago eating a seafood sampler platter with several co-workers, two of whom happened to be coonasses, when they noticed I'd nibble the shrimp down to the shell butt then would stop. They asked me if'n I had fallen prey to that urban myth that you don't eat the tail of shrimp. So I ask someone out there that might have retained a modicum of hard-won experiental knowledge... should one eat the tail of the baby shrimp? and can you lick your fingers a(f)terwards?

(Submitted by in lieu of weed )

i licked the bowl once. course, it was on a bong.

(Submitted by Baby Shmp )

And besides Derek and I are over - did you not see the 'Snicker's Bar Obvious Subliminal Message with Anagram Coding?' And lieu blew me off for some Voodoo Doll from New Orleans with better pricking skills. You only want me for my wigs and videotape collection and Terry, well, *biting lip* Terry is experiencing some temporary brain damage and it would be a little unfair to take advantage of that at the moment....Abi, may I come live with you in England..does your shire happened to need a Village Strumpet? Perhaps, I should just move to the Middle East with Ahem and wear a pillow case on my head and eat baklava all day. Praise Allah...uh which way is east again?

(Submitted by the real Winston Gutrumble )

I love the smell of Aunt farming.

(Submitted by Stump Jumper )

a course you eat the tail and -always- lick your fingers. Elsewise it's considered im- polite.

(Submitted by in lieu of greed )

It twern't no voodoo doll, dal. twas a hedgehog, mkay? and didn't blow you off for, said hedgehog simply inchoked the grandmother claws. twere you and i to have passed like two ky jellyfish on an alabama beach in the 80's, we'd likely be on lieu's mountain now hollering out goodnights for 18 gut-wrenching minutes. course, we'd also have pictures of lieumart strewn around our 47 bedroom, 2 bathroom mobile home.

(Submitted by in lieu of mountain passes )

wouldn't it suck if Aristotle in real life looked like the banjo-strumming geniyuk in Deliverance? e=mf2

(Submitted by rodger the dodger )

You mother fuckers are killing me. Party on. D, you and the others are BABES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Submitted by Joan makes me Earl )

what time zone (or party zone) does heidigger's kitty live in? what a life... partying all de time but always looking younger than Joan Collins. woops, it appears we all do that. how would you like to tell your friends your mom appeared in "the stud." what if one of your friends said his dad did too?

(Submitted by cartman )

motherfucker!

(Submitted by Abi )

Sorry Dal, Lieu etc. I missed you yesterday - lieu - what do vampires not want to find in their duo belt?? And Dal - we definitely need more Strumpets in our Shire, come on over girl, and bring Chiq with you - we'll have a blast!! See you over the page...

(Submitted by Dally )

Schrodinger's Kitty, not Heidigger, Silly Joan/Earl

(Submitted by lieu )

garlic balls!

(Submitted by hesus )

Grandparent's day!?? Crap... forgot to call... and did you refill the white globe with mountain dew?? That makes a handy container.. but you have to drink it all before it spills.. then you would need some cottom soils..

(Submitted by Michael )

This is my BIRTHDATE!!! I turned 28 on this day!!! wow

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE DESIGNER?

(Submitted by beatillblocher )

it was over there between b and god and perriod and the leaf it kind of means do f7 or T1

(Submitted by gern blandston )

NYCFASHIONGIRL...it's obvious.. GARANIMALS, for Christ's sake!!!!

(Submitted by Gern Blandston )

A white globe is a kightbulb of some sort, I think... Part of Derek's plan to produce some of the highest grade marijuana in the Mid- West. And Matt Krieg is involved, I guaran-goddamed- tee ya... Stop the evil plague that is Matt Krieg. And stop the Garanimals plague, too. Derek, jeez... if you can't figure out how to color co-ordinate that kid by now, go back to the Dri- Bottoms.

(Submitted by Gern )

did I say "kightbulb"? Oops.