Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Andre )

Ha ha! Did it again! Do the Dew dance!

(Submitted by Kelly )

Second poster! I almost made it! *Celebrating with DORITOS and a DEW 24 OZ*

(Submitted by joseytreat )

doing the third poster government fart slice dance

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

YOU WENT TO DARRYL AND MATT'S STORE IN ONE DAY? YOU ANIMAL YOU!

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

KEEP ON STYLING BOYS AND GIRLS!

(Submitted by Suck my balls, new york city )

Derek's an animal! Two stores in one day! Looks like it's an eleven hour drive! Whoo!

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

More 110 FILM! Those Tunisian children in the 110 FILM sweatshop must be working overtime at the Mill on the FLOSS.

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

I CAN'T SUCK ON YOU, YOU GOT NOTHING. EVEN IF YOU DID YOU GOT THE WRONG NEW YORKER.

(Submitted by lieu )

fart slice? musta been too lumpy.

(Submitted by FRT SLICE )

Hey, I'm not through yet..."pphhhhrrrrrrrr".

(Submitted by Mrs. Eunice Gutrumble )

Anybody got a match? I havn't lit a good fart since the power went out in '62, we had lit candles all over the house, and I sneezed after eating pepper steak. I must say the tight girdles we women wore in those days did give that one some interesting reverberations. Kinda like an organic Bonzo's Montreaux. Thank you.

(Submitted by Antimony )

that's sick. and it's probably dangerous....sounds like a good idea to me! I got a lighter, here ya go.

(Submitted by TARGET DUDE )

Matt Kreig is just the very best Wal-Mart manager. I mean - he's so caring and really supports the customers no matter what their lifestyles may be. That's why the's at the helm of Store #1627. In fact, store #1627 is unbelieveable too. It's just like going to Tiffany's - nothing bad could ever happen to you there.

(Submitted by JP Stevens )

Another Saturday night, and I ain't got no BODYWASH, I got some SPONGES cause I just got paid, now how I wish I had CHORE BOY to talk to, I'm in an awful way.

(Submitted by Matt Krieg )

Will someone please reserve a copy of the goddamn Gameboy Advance so I can take it the friggin' advertisement off my receipts? Thank you for your cooperation.

(Submitted by Noah Graber )

Oh yaah, can thee play the friggin' Gameboy Advance without that heathen electricity? Please advise, thanks be to all.

(Submitted by Black Tide Affair )

MENNONITE SURF PARTY!! TONITE AT ETHAN'S!! FREE GV FRT SLICE FOR THE FIRST 5 MENNONITETTES THAT RIP THE TIDE!!- TWO 4 ONE DENTAL FLOSS!! BE THERE!! BYOB (bring your own buggy)

(Submitted by suck my balls new york city )

I do believe i said new york city, not new yorker, egotistical little brat. Nobody said nuthin about you!

(Submitted by SuzinN.Cal )

Hi! *peeping in after so long away* So good to see the regulars still here! Hi Lieu, NYCFASHIONGIRL, Andre *smile*

(Submitted by Chiquita N. Cal )

Hey Suz-n-q, I'm still here, too! I've just been a little quiet cuz I've been trying to get this nanner thru the GV FRT SLICEr and it just don't wanna go.

(Submitted by Dalliance N. Nyc )

Hey Suzin and Chiquita-Bird *flashing ya'll my best COLGATE, jumbo charmer smile*

(Submitted by Antimony )

I feel so left out...I just found this site awhile ago and there's people here who apparently have long establihed friendships. so much sadness

(Submitted by Dereksnutritionist )

Derek, Doritos have MSG!!!!! Are you trying to kill yourself??? You eat way to much sugar and drink too much caffeine. I don't want to have to tell you this again. Please eat something healthy for me. I'm trying to save you for crying out loud!!!!

(Submitted by Antimony )

there's corn in doritos. corn's a vegetable. vegetables are healthy. therefore, doritos are healthy

(Submitted by i just read all three years worth )

that's an excellent observation antimony. antimony? what the hell is that?

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

Validation by JLCK? JaiLChicK? JustLikeCornKickers? JeLloCrack?

(Submitted by susie )

I think Antimony is a Greek tragedy, please cheer up antimony, *sprinkling sparkle8rol around liberally and freely*

(Submitted by Antimony )

Actually, Antimony is an element. it's a metal, and it's symbol is Sb, and it's poisonous. it's called Antimony because it was used to poison a bunch of monks. anti-mony. against the monks. cool, huh? thanks for the sparkle*rol, though. just what I need

(Submitted by ACid LOONP )

WALMART IS FUCKING GAY!!!! I never spend a nickle in this redneck cancer.

(Submitted by susie )

Or is that anti-money that I've got in my purse?

(Submitted by Antimony )

I find i often come across anti-money. generally, though, anti-money is the money you spend on stuff you don't need and on gifts you buy for people you don't like, but are obliged to give gifts to anyway. or possibly, it's the money you lend to people even though you know that you'll never get paid back.

(Submitted by joseytreat )

you think your commodore 64 is really neato/what kinda chip you got in there, a dorito?

(Submitted by joseytreat )

hey feller i bet you're still livin in your parents' cellar downloadin pictures of sarah michelle gellar i should do the world a favor and cap you like old yeller you're just about as useless as jpegs to helen keller

(Submitted by Dalliance - (Monk Lover) )

Monks?! Cool, Antimony, I love monks...I studied crazy medieval nuns for a long time (the mystical ones), but I gave it up to spend more time here on Derek's site. Please don't feel left out, we don't mean to exclude, it's just people come and go, ya know? Stick around and you'll become just as inbred as the rest of us! Woohoo! By the by, I'm glad you told us what Antimony meant cuz I was thinking it might be the opposite of alimony but I couldn't exactly figure out how that would work.

(Submitted by antimony is hard to find )

Chemistry sucks, especially when you have to swallow mixtures for a grade. Poor denny, i'll never be able to forget the image of the hole in his thoat where all the blood poured out after his turn.

(Submitted by jujitsu )

yes, I do, but what's wrong with SMG? It's got a fine spray of bullets.

(Submitted by Antimony )

I'm not sure inbred is the right word. I'd go with "barking, howling mad" personally. don't ever say you didn't learn anything from me. I have a wealth of useless knowledge, which is how I knew about antimony in the first place. and now all of you know, too! aren't you glad?

(Submitted by sAM wALTON )

I HAVE ENDORSED THIS SITE BECAUSE I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT IT REPRESENTS WHAT IS GOOD IN AMERICA. THE AMERICAN RIGHT TO PURCHASE, OWN, AND PURSUE HAPPINESS. DEREK IS ON TO SOMETHING HERE FOLKS. TUNE IN, TURN ON, AND DROP OUT. BUT PLEASE...CONTINUE TO SUPPORT MY STORE. SM

(Submitted by sAM wALTON )

I HAVE ENDORSED THIS SITE BECAUSE I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT IT REPRESENTS WHAT IS GOOD IN AMERICA. THE AMERICAN RIGHT TO PURCHASE, OWN, AND PURSUE HAPPINESS. DEREK IS ON TO SOMETHING HERE FOLKS. TUNE IN, TURN ON, AND DROP OUT. BUT PLEASE...CONTINUE TO SUPPORT MY STORE. SM

(Submitted by sAM wALTON )

I HAVE ENDORSED THIS SITE BECAUSE I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT IT REPRESENTS WHAT IS GOOD IN AMERICA. THE AMERICAN RIGHT TO PURCHASE, OWN, AND PURSUE HAPPINESS. DEREK IS ON TO SOMETHING HERE FOLKS. TUNE IN, TURN ON, AND DROP OUT. BUT PLEASE...CONTINUE TO SUPPORT MY STORE. SM

(Submitted by Andre N. Sync )

Mmm, dental floss....

(Submitted by Dally N. Tropy )

Andre, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? *slutty little grin*

(Submitted by fucker )

This crap is mother fucking cool!

(Submitted by Jeremy )

grin doesn't go with slutty, it just reads poorly. sorry, I know I've burst your hopes and dreams of becoming a master at writing trashy novels.

(Submitted by you know? )

L'objectif de ces journées est de présenter un apercu des résultats récents obtenus par les différentes équipes françaises travaillant sur les graphes et l'algorithmique de graphes. Les thèmes abordés sont entre autres : structures de données et analyses d'algorithmes, décompositions de graphes, graphes parfaits, colorations et applications, algorithmes distribués et algorithmes probabilistes, ...

(Submitted by Antimony )

what was that, a sex scene in french? i have no clue what it says, somebody clue me in

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Antimony, that basically was a quip from a journal whose objective is to present recent results obtained by using different types of graphs and algorithms (receipes) of graphs (i.e. distribution, probability,etc). (Correct me if I am wrong, susie) Although its purpose here does remains a mystery. I, myself, would mucho prefer a steamy foreign sex scene. Hey, Jeremy, trust me, pal, I can grin in an incredibly slutty manner. In fact, I am well known for my slutty grin...ask around. Now then, just 'cause your experience and/or imagination is extremely limited, it does not follow that my cornucopia of facial expressions must be as well. As a matter of fact, Charles DICKens, "slutty grin" is straight out of Rimbaud, so ferme la bouche!

(Submitted by 1-900-CALLDALLY )

Besides, why would I want to write a trashy novel when I'm already living one?

(Submitted by Antimony )

thanks, Dalliance. I think a sex scene would have been more amusing, though. I never took french, only latin. it is true that it's possible to grin in a slutty manner. not a talent that I have, but I know several people who can. anyway, Dalliance, wouldn't it be more like, "@sluttygrin.orgY"?

(Submitted by GrandePedeMonstre )

Mais, ma serviette est sous ma bouche! Ma George Dubya Bouche.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

*practicing my slutty grin* Hey, I'm pretty good at this. Someone hand me that DENTAL FLOSS, tho, 'cause I got some lettuce stuck in my teeth.

(Submitted by Abi )

Hey Chiq - come and practice your slutty grin on the next receipt - it's lonely over there.........here have some of that there FLOSS.

(Submitted by Eva )

Glad to see Derek is brushing & flossing. Good boy. This is a very bizarre site with a strange following. Ranks right up their with the butts across America site!

(Submitted by Antimony )

butts across America? I don't wanna know...

(Submitted by Jeremy )

I was thinking that flirtatious might go better with grin, but methinks I am outnumbered.

(Submitted by Jeremy )

Have you read EN ATTENDANT GODOT? Pretty darn good book, makes you think. Good job translating that, Dalliance, maybe better than me, and i took five years of french, but only been to france once and I keep forgetting my french. I'll get right to work writing that steamy sex scene, but i'm not really foreign so that might take some of the steam out of it.

(Submitted by Antimony )

i don't think any of these people really cares, as long as it's a sex scene

(Submitted by Jeremy )

Here's the beginning: Les... Dang, writer's block. I'm still trying to remember how to say "grinning sluttily" in French. I don't think i know either one. I killed somebody once.

(Submitted by Antimony )

oh, if it's that hard, just go to the altavista babelfish site and type it in in english, and then translate it into french, or german, or italian, or whatever.

(Submitted by Jeff Prost )

I see the millions of dollars Frito-Lay and Coca-Cola paid us is finally panning out.

(Submitted by shitsticks uk )

make us a cuppa

(Submitted by Sam Walton is Stoned....again )

Sam, 3 times in one night? Really guy......that's an awful lotta refreshing for a dead guy!

(Submitted by Sam Walton is Stoned....again )

Sam, 3 times in one night? Really guy......that's an awful lotta refreshing for a dead guy!

(Submitted by Sam Walton is Stoned....again )

Sam, 3 times in one night? Really guy......that's an awful lotta refreshing for a dead guy!

(Submitted by duh )

enough said

(Submitted by Freud )

Has anyone else checked out Derek's other project "Voices from the thrift shop"? I think that is way cool. The link is on the main page for those that don't know.

(Submitted by Dallyfish )

Ah, Jeremy, thanks..sorry it took so long for me to chirp in but I was stuck on the other May 18th receipt. I see your point about the slutty grin but I sorta dig that oxymoronic quality and "flirtatious"..hmmmm..little cliche, doncha think? I'm laughing my butt off at the beginning of your sex scene. "I killed someone once"..hehehehe "Waiting for Godot"? not read but saw the play..actually, my favorite French writer is Andre Gide,or Sartre (love him too)...and Camus. French playright is Genet (although Godot was written by Beckett of course, who's Irish but the play is so existentially French, n'est pas? and Beckett was a bit of an ex- patriot, as were all those moderns, hanging around Paris smoking jalousies.(Am I boring everyone? Sorry, but I'm a geek) And dang Antimony, many thanks for that babelfish tip. Righteous!..wondering if it has latin too...

(Submitted by Dally w/ receipt reference )

*tossing down some DORITOS, drinkin' some DEW* True, true

(Submitted by Dalliance - then I'll shut up )

Antimony, thanks for the heads up on the "Voices" thing. There can be NO denying: Derek Dahlsad is a freaking GENIUS...I mean really, the guy is a *true* artist in this medium.

(Submitted by Antimony )

it wasn't me who did the voices thing. unfortunately, there is no latin on the babelfish site. it would make my life alot easier, let me tell you. and while we are speaking of the babelfish, i would like to have 42 seconds of silence for Douglas Adams. thanks for all the fish, man. you made the world a better and much more intersting place

(Submitted by I Shall Never Visit This Site Agin )

Dude, make a fucking list and go once a month. Are you stupid, or do you just have no life?

(Submitted by Needlmyer )

Uhmm, Derick? Derick? You have just got to start getting out more often.I need more. I mean, I only came upon this site a week ago, i've already read every page, every post and now I'm posting messages! help me! Next, I plan to scan my own Walmart receipts and compare the prices to yours. I mean, come on, you haven't been to Walmart in 8 DAYS! Waht am I supposed to do for the holiday weekend with nothing else here to read?!

(Submitted by One of the Ones Who Knows )

Hang tough, Needlmyer...we all go this at first. Have you been to Derek's "I am" site, his homepage, the BBS? We all understand the pangs of initially receipt withdrawal. Once it was like 18 days!! (Aunt Beru's Lame Chicken could tell you the exact time span as he/she/it (we aren't sure which) has the most extensive data base to date). Point is, we all suffered but we made it and damn it, Needlie, you will too so hang in there, little buddy. p.s. (said with reverence)it's Derek, not Derick.

(Submitted by Antimony )

Needlmyer, don't worry. we're all here to support and and comfort you...not! we'll all probably make fun of your obsession and snigger at you. no, seriously, you'll be ok. check out some of the links from the webrings. or go check out zackpunk.net, which happens to be a pretty cool site, if a bit disturbing and depressing

(Submitted by Antimony )

and how could i forget about monkeybagel.com? that's my favorite site, tied with this one. my fave bit is the "Cultural Artifacts of Geek Life"

(Submitted by Jeremy )

other people have been to monkeybagel.com? Since it is apparent we are "hungry" for funny sites how about ilovebacon.com? Everybody has to have been to http://www.dysan.net/weird/weird.htm right?

(Submitted by Jeremy )

I guess your right Dally, it's (I'm just like "derick") lack of use does make the phrase much better and a better hook for, say, the beggining of a sex story. No go Antimony, they don't have either word in the translator I found. Babelfish is not working for me. Is he really irish? I'm not doubting, it's just kindof weird for an irishman to write in french, and then translate it to english.

(Submitted by Jer )

jugulation? Is that a word, or did i misread? Related to the jugular, maybe? Or maybe a biology term or something? Okay, okay, I might as well quit stabbing in the dark. I might just get your jugular! ooh, that was bad, how do you delete?

(Submitted by Antimony )

jugulation is indeed a word. it means "the action of cutting a throat". and defenestration means the act of throwing someone or something out a window, before anyone asks. too bad about babelfish. that sucks

(Submitted by Dally - another word lover )

Jeremy, Beckett is definitely Irish but spend a lot of time in France and wrote many works in French..but then a lot of writers to that..Rilke for instance. Maybe because the French language is so naturally poetic...dunno. Ah, by the way, Anti, I see now it was indeed Freud that mentioned the voices..sorry for the slip, Siggy! *rechecking the rent in my ego/soul axis*

(Submitted by Me, bitch. )

What the hell is this crap?!?!?!

(Submitted by Dave )

Gatorade and dental floss? Don't those two things kind of contradict each other? Gatorade is pure sugar water, Derek. Try Propel.

(Submitted by Jill )

ok,i've stumbled on this website, thinking this is the dumbest site in the world... but curiousity got the better of me, and they whole walmart family must be signing on and throwing in every comment posssible... LOVE THE GOVERNMENT FART SLICE... this probably doesn't make sense to anyone reading this... but keep on rocking !!! OH by the way the nearest WALMART is 75 miles from my town, but i still have to go there to do my shopping !