Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by jo )

Purchased on the infamous 20-02-2002 only in my little portion of the hemisphere!

(Submitted by Huh? )

** WOO HOOO ** I'm #2!!!

(Submitted by Happy Huh? )

~~~>#2 is poo poo<~~~ Wow, a new HDTV for only $79 big ones!! Righto?

(Submitted by All alone with Jo Huh? )

Wake up everybody, he's got a new receipt! ~~putting on TRAPPER HAT and BOXABLE PUSH~~

(Submitted by Cakes )

D, lovey, is something up with the scanner, please say there is, otherwise I've had too much to drink......*feeling dizzy*

(Submitted by lieu )

hey der, that orion 13's awesome... if you want to watch the ansel adams channel.

(Submitted by Save Receipt for Refunds/Exchanges of Warranty Items Purchased )

I think D's got this covered.

(Submitted by Dal )

Indeed, just three days ago he gets his X enlarged and now he returns to have it reduced 2 a GV (Giant Vein). Hill Lord, do tell me - how large is your staff? I might be interested in checking out a larger firm. Ya know, climbing the corp. ladder. ?

(Submitted by Juegan )

You may have gotten first post twice in a row, but don't think we didn't notice your quintuple post two receipts back, bwash. tsk tsk... I'm telling you, it's not that you drank too much, not the scanner either, you're just going bad.

(Submitted by Hill Lordnac the Magnificent )

Doughnuts!

(Submitted by Ed McMahon )

Ho! Ho! Ho! Doughnuts!

(Submitted by Hill Lordnac the Magnificent )

May a rabid camel give you papercuts on your face with a Wal*Mart purchase receipt!

(Submitted by Ed McMahon )

Ho! Ho! Ho!

(Submitted by Hill Lordnac the Magnificent )

Doughnuts! (opening envelope, blowing inside, removing question) What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over !?!

(Submitted by lieu )

yeah, i guess you can't actually "see" a donuthole.

(Submitted by lieu lieu )

butt maybe timmy will tell us what one tastes like.

(Submitted by Hill Lord )

Well, Ms. Dalliance, I believe you will find it to be a very copious and generous staff. In order to provide full customer satisfaction, our staff moves at an accelerated pace for prolonged intervals. Please feel free to contact our growing firm for a friendly face-to-face intercourse. This would also give me a change to show you how I dictate.

(Submitted by hi )

I LOVE WAL-MART! I GO WHEN EVER I GET A CHANCE! DID I TELL YOU I LOVE WAL-MART? I DO!!!!!

(Submitted by Fred Farkle )

Hey Derek, Finally got the film developed from Valentines day? Did they turn out? Can you post the pics here or are they a little to adult in nature?

(Submitted by bwash )

Righto Cameltoe !! Ha!

(Submitted by Balmain 'the Raj' Boy )

Correct Jo! 5:27 PM central time is after midnight GMT, then onto the next day for all us teeming billions east of Suez. That's why the earth wobbles on its axis, there is a non-random population distribution, hemisperically speaking!

(Submitted by lambie )

*whisperin'* do ya reckon ole Der has been sneakin' in here and taking pixs of all of us while we're not paying attention? Are we gonna see pixs of each other on American's Most Wanted?

(Submitted by Clara )

I thought Derek got his X redone. Hence the REDU X, the GV 2 is just the code for the second time you get your X enlarged.

(Submitted by Cakes )

good point lambie, I just hope he caught my good side. *adjusting tiara*

(Submitted by Huh? )

* sticking out my ENLARGEMENT X'S * I can only hope that Derek caught a good shot of my ENLARGEMENT X's. I spent a fortune on it and I'm gonna flaunt it!

(Submitted by Still Climbing Huh? )

Rock on Cinderella fans! *whipping hair around in a hard rock frenzy*

(Submitted by Picture Perfect Huh? )

*whispering* Lambie, I just saw those pix and you need to adjust your 'toe a lil bit....

(Submitted by toe jam )

somebody call me?

(Submitted by Eric Cartman )

((><)) Respect Mah Authoritah!!

(Submitted by Bustin' Out Huh? )

(+)(+) RESPECT MINE, TOO (ps, it's cold here today)

(Submitted by Crank )

or rotten if you will

(Submitted by Hill Lord )

I wanted to take next week off from work and my boss told me that I "must be crazy". So I decided to go to the psychiatrist and get a note that said I was crazy. To make sure I got the note, I showed up a the psychiatrist's all wrapped up in cellophane. It must have worked because the first thing he said was, "I can clearly see your nuts."

(Submitted by Paul )

don't forget (see bottom of receipt) Cinderella 2 is out on 26th Feb !!!! - does she lose both her shoes this time I cannot wait to find out

(Submitted by SuzinN.Cal )

Wow ... still as funny as ever here. Don't know why I haven't looked in for so long!

(Submitted by mary jane rottencrotch )

Looks like we spent some money this time! too bad you didnt go thru the line at 20 minutes after 8 or it would have been interesting. looks like you can fill the photo album up this time too, all those pix. and dont forget your looking glass for dat tv!

(Submitted by me )

too bad you didn't go through the register at 8:02 at night...it would have been cool to see that

(Submitted by ChiqnS.Cal )

SuzinN.Cal, welcome back. Are you going to stay a spell? It's tough when I'm the only California girl in the toaster box. No one seems to, like, understand our, like, totally awesome, like, way of speaking. Y'know?

(Submitted by Huh? )

Oh like, gag me with a spoon!

(Submitted by Retro 80's Huh? )

So like I mean and like, for sure, you don't have to be like from California, to like, speak most awesomely. Ya know? I mean, you know, I lived through the 80's and like, big hair, and like Hellloooo??? it was a bitchin' time to be like, alive, ya know?

(Submitted by Huh? )

*kiss hug* Welcome back Suzi.N HELLLOOOOOO?

(Submitted by Lori )

this site is cooler than a can of spam under your armpit

(Submitted by busmun )

I am saying "This site is way sharper than a bowling ball."And so much room to slap the argots around. Gobs of space. A sentence could run on and on to the distant horizon hereabouts: Yowzah, it feels like Manifest Destiny (not you D. Mae D.) clamber up in yon Connestoga wagon and ROLL!

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

PICS OF WHAT?

(Submitted by Elmer Fudd )

WHATS OF PICS?

(Submitted by wyo. man )

Hay Paul! cinderella II. in it she loses more than her shoes. it's x-rated and derek's gitting the first one.

(Submitted by susie )

California knows how to party, so they say

(Submitted by Winthorp )

Did you know the most commonly used word in California is "ear?"

(Submitted by lieu )

and here i thought ears were the most commonly used love handles.

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

It's so rare that the gods actually give up ownership of a constellation...but if you're gonna sell Orion to someone, it might as well be Derek

(Submitted by Alex )

Taking into consideration the marvelous aptitude these blue- vesters have with spelling, it's highly possible that ORION 13 is s'posed to be CHAPSTICK.

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

well, their grasp of grammar is nebulous at best :)

(Submitted by Pee Wee )

13 inches for $79.88. That comes out to roughly $6.15 per inch. Sh*t...I couldn't even give change for a ten at those rates...

(Submitted by Sylvia )

What's up with the big lapse? We don't get to know what he bought on President's day? This is a big purchase for him--more than the usual soap and odd, unexplainables. Just what IS he taking pictures of?

(Submitted by Honest Abe Balmain )

For President's DAy, I did my 'Chuck Jones' tribute - stovepipe hat, cottonwool beard, gliding round the office saying "What's this I hear 'bout you whippin' slaves?"

(Submitted by canada girl )

How is it that you buy just general items. Where are the gifts for the child and the wife. Don't you need those receipts to return anything? Maybe you are one of only a few in this world that doesn't have to return the items they buy. Have fun and when you retire you can be a Wal-Mart greeter!

(Submitted by canada girl )

Derek. Do you get airmiles or something. I see almost all the things you purchased were on Visa or earlier on Mastercard. Thanks for keeping the banks working.

(Submitted by Huh? )

Canada Girl: Get a grip,there ain't no wife. Derek belongs to Dal. He is her total love slave, everything he buys is totally dedicated to Dalliance, or so I hear.

(Submitted by Huh? )

*wink nod* .. or maybe to Germy... I'm a little foggy on that one....

(Submitted by Everybody Say Huh? Ho! )

And BB: Nice beard but lose the hat.

(Submitted by Guess Who? )

Mustache rides, anybody?

(Submitted by Matthew Spradling )

This is my birthday! Yay.

(Submitted by Cakes )

Happy Birthday Matthew - I'm sure we can rustle up a nanner cake for you. Who's got the balloons??

(Submitted by lieu )

here's three midnight blue ones. party on.

(Submitted by steve martin )

*blowing up and twisting balloons* here's your lower intestines!

(Submitted by Cakes )

WHITE GLOBE anyone?

(Submitted by Chiquita )

*whipping up 3-layer nanner cream cake for Matthew* Ummm, canada girl, I can see you're concerned about Der's ability to return stuff he's bought. See, when the receipts are scanned onto the COPMUTER, they don't disappear... they continue to exist and can still be used to return, say, a back- talkin' CHORE BOY or TROJAN with a hole in it (which can lead to years of DRI BOTTOMS). So don't worry your pretty lil canadian head over it.

(Submitted by Cakes )

hey lieu, nice balloons.....

(Submitted by lieu )

thanks cakes. nice tits.

(Submitted by trojan horse )

knock knock.

(Submitted by tits )

nice!

(Submitted by more nice tits )

( o Y o )

(Submitted by bad surgeon, bad bad surgeon )

( o Y 0 )

(Submitted by calista )

(.)(.)

(Submitted by granny )

\ . / \ . /

(Submitted by shannon dougherty )

all right guys, straighten up!

(Submitted by MOGGEE )

Too funny.

(Submitted by I hate these cold winters! )

( ^ Y ^ )

(Submitted by Ford Pursuit )

Ahhh...nature's thermostats...god luv 'em...

(Submitted by Two men walking abreast )

/| |\ ( o ) /| |\

(Submitted by what you lookin at? )

( @ Y @ )

(Submitted by lieu )

so what'chu brits call dem things that takes care of younguns... au pair?

(Submitted by hey, who let the twins out? )

( x Y x )

(Submitted by yes i'm from siam. why do you ask? )

( : Y : )

(Submitted by emmalou, let's get you a bra made out of sumpthin' udder than burlap. )

( # Y # )

(Submitted by oooh, a boxed set! )

[ o | o ]

(Submitted by and little billy's three months and will get his teeth in soon... )

( ~ Y ~ )

(Submitted by chandler bing )

( o * o )

(Submitted by Loving it! )

Hey OMG! I have reached the last receipe. That was a long ride but a fun one. Can not wait for the next one!

(Submitted by Cakes )

Was that the receipe for Chiq's nanner cake? Good isn't it!

(Submitted by BBoy )

OK, I guess Cakes, but it's picking the little cocktail parasols out of your teeth that wears you down...

(Submitted by Chiq )

Receipt? Recipe? Receipe? Webster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Submitted by Webster )

Easy Chiq...*toke*...'ere.

(Submitted by Vitamita Huh? )

And it's so tasty too! Tastes just like candy!

(Submitted by MOGGEE )

Cinderella II: Step-sister's Revenge

(Submitted by lieu )

i'm waiting for snow white II, the awakening (or snow does happy)

(Submitted by BBoy )

Don't forget what I told you about Noah Webster, Chiq - wouldn't wan't the whole western hemisphere to have their delusions shattered, would we?

(Submitted by Ricardo Valencia )

It's a good thing no one person wrote the entire dictionary, it would be less credible. It's ever so much better that Webster is written by the rather large group of scholars that it is written by.

(Submitted by walmart's best investment )

You are so cool, you rule. This proves only in America can you become famous for nothing. Do we ever here from Mrs. Derek?

(Submitted by Group of Scholars )

Hey Ricardo, who are you calling large?

(Submitted by i feel icky )

Have you ever considered adding a visitors reciept page? I have tons i'd donate to ya! Im also at home sick with the flu and a 103 degree fever! That may be why im so entertained with this site! Where do you put the rest of your reciepts?

(Submitted by Mescha )

266,000 people cannot be too dumb to have changed the title of thier page! I mean 266,000 definately are, but 266,000 people that use Adobe GoLive? Unthinkable. Welcome.

(Submitted by TJ )

I see that anonymousity was purposely thrown to the wind in august 2000, I just had bring that up, despite the fact that it proves me wrong.

(Submitted by Anonymous Huh? )

*getting out Webster's dictionary* here=hear, thier=their, reciepts=receipts. Wow, I feel better......or is it bedder????

(Submitted by Imagine )

Nice tits!

(Submitted by lieu )

okay.

(Submitted by tits )

I don't care for that word anymore, please stop saying it!

(Submitted by butt )

I don't care for that smell anymore, please stop stinking!

(Submitted by Smite )

What kind of pictures are you takin?

(Submitted by Penis )

Mightier than the sword...

(Submitted by tits )

Hopefully not pictures of tits, hey, stop that, this is a no place to be saying words like tits. Ok? It truly is a simple request. Truly. Is it THAT important to you to say it? What about the children. Do you want them to run around saying tits to everyone? Admittedly, it would be humourous, but nonetheless a bad idea. A kid, for example, destiny, walks up right now and asks, "daddy, whatcha readin? " "Well, honey, daddy's just reading about tits, ok?" "Tits?" "Yes dear." "Oh, ok. la-dee-da, *humming* titstitstits, tits, TITS" "*gasps*Oh, no, what have I done"                   Don't let this happen to you! Only you can prevent children from not only knowing that you read about tits, but also prevent them from repeating such a dastardly word as tits.

(Submitted by tj )

And yes I know most everyone here are horrid horrid people and are reading this from work so the above scenary might be innacurate, but if you want I could do a scenary with kids reading the site, but it would be longer and you already wish I shut up, especially now that I'm not saying all of your's favorite word.

(Submitted by Chiq )

*admiring my tits* Nanner!

(Submitted by Hill Lord )

With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound // He pulls the spitting high tension wires down // TITZILLA! // Helpless people on a subway train // Scream bug-eyed as he looks in on them // TITZILLA! // He picks up a bus and he throws it back down // As he wades through the buildings toward the center of town // TITZILLA! // Oh no, they say he's got to go go go Titzilla // Oh no, there goes Tokyo go go Titzilla (*helping Chiq admire*)

(Submitted by Huh? )

~~ > nanner tits alert! < ~~ Chiq, maybe you need the bra that lifts and separates? *whispering* ya know, these things just happen over time...

(Submitted by Gern Blandston )

I'm not wearing any pants.

(Submitted by Gern Blandston )

Is Darryl Marchetta still working for Walmart?

(Submitted by Cakes )

I have tits, and I'm pleased with them, thanks.

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

Cakes, if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

(Submitted by YKW )

omigod...omigod...omigod...phe w...TISSUES!!!

(Submitted by Darryl Marchetta )

Can I have a price check please for tits on Aisle 7?

(Submitted by Huh? )

Darryl, don't be a boob.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

Huh?, I don't have one of those cross-your-heart bras, but this slutty white tee is lifting & separating quite nicely. It's really helping to ENLARGEMEN & DEVELOP my tits.

(Submitted by Mentally, a little kid )

See, we have moved closer together! Not one nit-picky remark asking what the hell a scenary (scenario for them there smart peoples) has to do with tits. Likely nothing to do with tits. *fretting* Agghhh, poor children, being exposed to this mess.         Went to mardi gras. Alot less exposure than they lead you to expect. I just finished a page of mardi-gras pics, and boy do they come in all sorts of variety.

(Submitted by peek-a-boo tits )

here are some nice tits to take a pic of.... if your good I'll show you the rest!! ( . ^ . )

(Submitted by saggy tits )

These are better: ( . Y . )