Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by StealthDonut)

I've noticed you drink alot of Mt. Dew around the holidays....

(Submitted by MATT KRIEG'S #1 FAN)

WWMKD?

(Submitted by byron)

So are snakes 97 cents at Wal-Mart now??

(Submitted by rita)

Didn't you do your Christmas shopping at Wal Mart?

(Submitted by Cherdy)

DO THE DEW!

(Submitted by Bafoon)

I GOT A SNAKE MAN!!!

(Submitted by Pixel)

four liters of Mountain Dew and a snake. My Chirstmas eve parties are never this interesting...

(Submitted by daryl)

dang, derek, fix up your spare room -- i'm spending next x-mas eve at your house.

(Submitted by Linda)

I'm hoping "FISH NET" doesn't mean stockings. Is there something you need to tell us, Derek?

(Submitted by Megan)

Anyone notice that the snake's a LOT cheaper than the lizard was?

(Submitted by Mike)

You are a Fag! Get a life! Nice page......

(Submitted by d-rock)

Is the snake to play with the fish? The cat? Or the baby? I don't think that would work....

(Submitted by Randy)

(sobbing) Is there a 12 step program for receipt addiction... SOMEONE STOP ME

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Here, Randy...hold my hand.

(Submitted by Andre)

If it was Max, I would have held it gladly. Sigh.

(Submitted by Jorgen Clug)

Is that mildew he's using? I think he should have stuck with the sphagnum, as instructed several generations of receipts ago.

(Submitted by Ericka)

I JUST CANT STOP!!!!!! Please save me!

(Submitted by RC3PO)

i think you are retarted!!!

(Submitted by Greg)

oh!!! you needed to keep the lizard company....

(Submitted by kiki)

Man, that was one cheap snake...So, what did you have to do with the cashier to make the snake so cheap...I hope you didn't....SELLOUT!!! you cheap bastard!!!

(Submitted by Phaedrus)

I'm so happy there's another 6 months left. I don't know what i'm gonna do after it's all over...i feel like i know you guys, and i've fallen in love with some of you...oh the times we've had. Meetcha at the Safeway reciept site?

(Submitted by Aunt Beru's lame chicken)

Back to filters...geez, if this woman just doesn't leave you for Darryl and his big store full of sanitary napkins, I won't believe there's any justice in this world. And Derek's so plug ugly too.....................

(Submitted by someone who enjoys the holidays)

On Christmas Eve in my family we have a nice meal, open a couple of gifts, sing Christmas carols, and put the kiddies to bed before Santa comes to town. In Derek's house, they gather at noon to make a family trip to Wal*Mart. When they get home they pour the Mountain Dew through a filter, scoop the fish out of the tank with a brand new net, and let the fishies swim around in the Dew 'til their bellies are full of the bubbly stuff. Then they scoop the fishies out and feed them to the snake. No "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" in this house... they read articles from the latest Maximum PC magazine as they put the kiddies to bed. Can I be invited to your house next year?

(Submitted by Twinkles)

I was eating fried snake and drinking Mt Dew the Xmas Eve I lost my virginity!

(Submitted by Mike)

MAXIMUM PC! YES, WHOOO, I LOVE YOU MAN.....I mean uh...

(Submitted by Billylu)

This is too sad when we read Wal*Mart receipts on-line. Buy some stocking stuffers or candy on Christmas Eve like everybody else!

(Submitted by Matt Kreig )

I am the manager! I am the manager! I own the store! Wal-Mart is my store

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

FISH NET STOCKING, YOU GO DRAG QUEEN BOY!

(Submitted by Jessica Alba )

T'was the night before christmas, and not all where asleep. All the stockings where hung by the chimney with careing, except for the Fish Net ones, which Derek was wearing. You could not hear anyting, not even a bee. Except for Derek, who was reading Maximum PC. As the children sneaked into the kitchen, and started to eat cake, Derek prepared the flames, so that he could eat snake. After eating the cake the children went back to sleep without further adeu. Derek had just downed 4 liters of Mountain Dew. As far as the filter goes, well, truly, nobody quite knows. Pretty nice, eh?

(Submitted by Jessica Alba )

T'was the night before christmas, and not all where asleep. All the stockings where hung by the chimney with careing, except for the Fish Net ones, which Derek was wearing. You could not hear anyting, not even a bee. Except for Derek, who was reading Maximum PC. As the children sneaked into the kitchen, and started to eat cake, Derek prepared the flames, so that he could eat snake. After eating the cake the children went back to sleep without further adeu. Derek had just downed 4 liters of Mountain Dew. As far as the filter goes, well, truly, nobody quite knows. Pretty nice, eh?

(Submitted by doug )

you spelled 'adieu' wrong in both statements, jess. i like your show, though.

(Submitted by k-mart )

you wear fishnet pantyhose?

(Submitted by Jen )

After his wife sees a mouse in the house on Christmas eve, he is forced to venture into the cold, snowy night to Walmart. After browsing the aisles endlessly for a solution to their problem, he comes across a tank of slimy, slithering snakes. He selects the meanest, biggest of them all, and runs towards the register. On his way he spots a small fishing net, which he grabs just in case the snake isn't hungry tonight! After swiping a few items his wife had on the "store list",and a couple Mt. Dews, he is ready for purchase. However,when he arrives at home, armed and dangerous, he is met by his wife holding the small mouse in her hands. She orders him not to kill it, because she wants to keep it. It's the "cutest thing" she's ever seen! Women, right guys?

(Submitted by Arp )

This is so depressing. This man spent Christmas 1999 drinking Mountain Dew whilst watching his fish swim around. I want to cry.

(Submitted by Usagi )

"Oh crap, it's Christmas Eve and someone forgot the snake! Thank God for Wal- Mart!"

(Submitted by OB-GYN Kenobi )

Lame chicken? I've been to Casa Skywalker and all Aunt Beru ever made for me was celery and generic corn flakes

(Submitted by gern blandston )

I have visions of Chore Boy with a pair of Dri-Bottoms on holding a snake and a lizard running around in a pile of potting soil, while the cat and Matt Krieg feed each other pudding and laugh the laugh of total Wal-Mart satisfaction.

(Submitted by budchristy )

SNAKE? FISH NETS? MOUNTAIN DEW? FILTER? What an odd combo! What are the fish nets for anyways? Hope they are not pant hose!?

(Submitted by Gern Blandston )

The fishnets are for Chore Boy, budchristy. Derek's "life partner", confidant and top salesman in his ever-expanding marijuana sales business.

(Submitted by Bonnie )

Oh yeah - *I* want a snake in MY Christmas stocking, uh-huh.

(Submitted by Solid Snake )

I COST MORE THAN THAT GODDAMN IT! NAZI WAL-MART FUCKERS!!