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4 June 2000
Visitor Comments:
(Submitted by val)
He was at Wally World for the
big magazine story, and this
was the big dent in his Visa
account? God please let it be
a debit card. At least his
breath was minty fresh.
(Submitted by SuzinN.Cal)
hey Val .. at least he is a
clean guy!! *grin*
(Submitted by melon)
damn it! why does nobody
write a story about me? im
intersting... ive got lots of
stuff to say, life just isn't
fair.
(Submitted by Duck_Man)
Lysol AND Mouthwash? Hmmmm
Why not go down to the 7-11
and pick up a 6-pack - it's
probably better for you, but
won't give you pine-
fresh/minty-fresh breath!
(Submitted by ANONYMOUS)
WAL-MART ROCKS!! I WORK THERE AND THEY GET MOST OF MY PAYCHECKS!!! GOTTA LOVE OUR DISCOUNT. KEEP UP THE KEWL SITE.
(Submitted by Wally's Girl)
Sheesh I just found this site
yesterday, read all the
receipts...and now find out
you're going commercial.
(Submitted by uglymullet)
I just don't know ... the old
receipts v's these new
fangdangle ones?? just dunno
if I can adjust to the
change ...
(Submitted by Ex-SavOn Man)
Oh man. Somebody tell them to
change the footer about the
book release. It's done and
over with!! Damn WalMart,
keep up!! This blatant
disregard for headers and
footers on the recepits has
got to stop. Finally they get
a great header but the footer
is outdated!!! *sigh*
(Submitted by terry)
Derek, You should be ashamed
of yourself. 1627 has been
with you from the very
beginning, stuck with you
thru the good times and the
bad, always faithful to you.
And now another store with
newer, firmer, younger
equipment has tempted you to
stray. Although an occasional
dalliance (sorry) has become
acceptable these days, please
don't desert your old
faithful companion...
(Submitted by Dalliance)
*grinning at Terry*
Otherwise, I am speechless.
All this is happening so fast!
Derek standing on a checkout
lane...the new chichi
receipts. I need a shoulder
to lean on...where is not Emo
when I need him??
(Submitted by Dalliance)
I wonder if the lane belt was
moving? I can see it now -
Derek with a barcode on his
butt. Wonder if he is taxable?
Ohhhhh....maybe Derek could
be *MY* new chore boy!!
(Submitted by Anon)
Wal-Mart is great for somethings,
especially your trusted brands. But buy a
brand you don't trust, and DAMN! They
sure take a hit out of your wallet. I bought
some Crest the other day, after being a
long-time Colgate buyer and they cleaned
me out! It's kind of scary though, how do
they know which brands I trust.
Watch out for the black Wal-Mart
heli
(Submitted by Anon)
copters...
(Submitted by terry)
I agree Anon...I had a friend
who bought a couple of off
brand mattresses from
WAL*MART a while back, and
she got screwed on BOTH of
them.
(Submitted by Yat)
Wow... I leave for three months
and the receipts are hardly
recognizable. What happened to
Matt? And is Derek still taking
tons of photos? Oh, this is all
too much to take on a Monday.
(Submitted by Dalliance)
Man, Anon, that Crest story
really got to me. Are you,
like, okay? Are you sleeping
again yet? Yat, I'll catch
you up. Matt is still around
(see 6/1 receipt). I'm afraid
Derek is still double
dipping. It's absolutely
dizzying - 1627, 1581, 1627,
1581...the man is a total
menace. He has definitely
slowed down on the film
processing (he hasn't bought
any bras or stockings in a
long time either - don't know
if the two are corollated or
not) We think the cat died
and he seems to have eased up
on the Scott's soil and the
pooh panties. Apparently,
he's launched into this
strange post-modern, artistic
phase. We are all watching
that development with
'baited' breath (see
dismembered carp
6.1.00)...hahaha...Whoa, that
was a good one. I just crack
myself up sometime.
(Submitted by 4shame)
oh sure get free press for
darryl's store, after all
that matt has done for you!
you should be bopped on the
head with an indwelling book
(slut)
(Submitted by Foo-Dawg)
Phatty D this site is gonna
be in a magazine. I've only
known about it for like 3
hours but it's awesome can't
wait to pick up my copy of
Shift!
(Submitted by flusher)
and for so long I thought I
was the only person who had a
thing for Wal*Mart *sniff*,
I'm getting choked up. Thank
you everybody!
(Submitted by Betsy)
Yo, Derek!
Just make sure you don't
store the mouthwash and the
lysol in the same place -
lest you mix them up!
(Submitted by melon)
if you could make a mouthwash
with any taste you want, what
would it be? mine would be
petrol flavord. to get that
new car feeling every day.
(Submitted by lexic0n)
dalliance raises some
excellent questions. are
derek's bra purchases in the
past correlated with other
purchases? how long has it
been since we've seen dri-
bottoms or scotts soil on his
receipts? the receipt
database (suggestions for
names, anyone?) is nearing
completion every day. soon,
all these questions will be
answered!
(Submitted by polack)
lexicon's suggestion for names.... the obvious is
"lexicon's big database of derek's walmart receipts"
although a more fitting name is "yet another site
by a guy with too much free time on his hands and
made for people with way too much time on their
hands". Since the former title is wordy, you can
use the anagram
"yasbagwtmftohhamfpwwtmtoth.com"
(Submitted by wow)
just make sure you buy a copy
of that magazine at wal*mart,
ok? twist our crooked lil'
minds even more
(Submitted by james)
i want to hear more about the girl who got screwed on
both mattresses!
(Submitted by Anon)
She was a very tall girl.....
(Submitted by Dalliance with the Inquiry Mind)
Oh, that just reminded me of something. Ya'll
remember when Derek bought all those trojans and
the nite time cold medicine? It was Jan.29, back
in 1999. So, Terry, when did your tall friend get
her mattresses?
(Submitted by Dalliance)
Inquiry = Inquiring
(Submitted by acequia)
Geez, Derek, you buy $5.16
worth of stuff and put in on
your VISA? Have you ever
heard of something
called "cash"? Have you seen
the new five dollar bills?
They couldn't be uglier!
(Submitted by mary)
ever play the walmart game?
you go to walmart with your
friends, and you get 1 point
for each person that you see
that you know. if you know
the same people, it's who
sees them first. ..
what the hell else would you
do in a podunk town like we
live in???
(Submitted by George)
Damn! If that isn't the
sexiest receipt I've ever
seen! Hot, Hot, HAWT!
(Submitted by walmartsucks)
What the fuck is your
problem. You must have a
great life if you run a
website on Wal-Mart
receipts. For you
information Wal-Mart is a
spreading virus that is
infecting or society. Which
I have numerous instances to
back that up with. (1)
Approximently 2 years ago, I
walked into my local Wal-Mart
to buy "X-Files: The Movie"
on vhs. I was checkign out
and the bitch cashier asked
if I was 17. Which I wasn't
and I didn't understand why
this mattered since the movie
was PG-13. Well, according
to Wal-Mart policy you had to
be 17 years of age to buy
this movie. I still did not
understand their reasoning.
You can be 12 and get into a
movie theatre to see PG-13
movies. (2) At my local
Super Wal-Mart in our quiet
rural town, a 13 year old boy
was molested by a pedafile.
(3) While shopping at Wal-
Mart or in my case,making fun
of the dirty people, you see
some of the ugliest people
that should have never left
their beaten up trailor and
their family in which incest
has occurred. **Note after
effects of incest are not
pretty. So on a final note,
if your life revolves around
Wal-Mart good for you. At
least I WILL be successful,
have a wife to come home to
and fuck, and be collecting
stocks instead of Wal-Mart
receipts.
(Submitted by Pigeonhole)
Man you sure are keen for Wal-
Mart. I bet you are going to
be on the next Wal-Mart
commercial like that fat
bastard who ate a Subway
sandwich everyday for like a
year.
Just a note: Normal people,
when they go to a store, make
some sort of list (written or
mental) so they don't have to
keep going back to the store
every 3 days. I bet you've
got your eye on one of the
cashiers or something so you
go there all the time hoping
he/she will eventually notice
you (or ask you to stop
stalking them).
I'm sorry, but I want the 5
MINUTES back that this site
took from my life. You could
at least try to spice it up
by buying (or getting
receipts for) items like
butcher knives, giant (body-
bag sized) garbage bags and
stain remover.
(Submitted by not Emo)
Val - I get the part about how you are better than the rest
of us. The remainder is a little fuzzy. I don't think it has
been scientifically proven that there is a connection
between Wal*Mart, viruses, and incest. As for ugly
people, the ugliest people I've seen are those that make
fun of others. Dalliance - Sorry I wasn't there for you! In
the future, you can lean on my shoulder (or any other
appendage) anytime you want. Derek - Has Jay Leno
called yet?
(Submitted by AprilW)
So, Mr. Fancy Pants is going
*Big Time* huh? Just don't
forget all us little people
who got you there Mister!!!!
(Submitted by Blessedman)
Sheesh there are alot of
bored people in this world!
It just goes to prove that
boredum is the birth place
for revolutions... I can't
believe that we don't have
the Wal*cam, the 24hour check
out line cam at wal*mart,
they are sitting on a fortune.
(Submitted by Matt Kreig)
Nice site, but would you
please be able to remove my
name from the receipts on
which it is? Thank you.
(Submitted by jerkmo)
don't get those two mixed
up. Your the man, this
website is the money.
(Submitted by melon)
i have another question.
if you could run really fast,
like up to lightspeed, where
would you run? i would run
next to peoples cars on the
highway and talk to them. i
bet you can meet some very
intresting people that way.
(Submitted by nirv)
Customers suck ass. I wanna
see those pictures of you on
the lane, though. I'm a
cashier, and if you ask
me "ARE YOU OPEN?" I WILL
drop a shotgun out my sleeve
and take care of yo ass. >:(
(Submitted by Jon Kaplan)
I am so sorry. It is good to
see how dreadful the American
consumer culture actually is.
You people are so dreadfully
sub-human. In-breeding rules
(Submitted by melon)
you know, i get this weird
feeling, like people are
ignoring me... do you know
what i mean?
(Submitted by brian flay)
I once got drunk on
mouthwash. The beerstore
was closed so I went to the
macs milk and bought 5-6
mouthwash bottles and
drank them. I have to say I
was pretty much drunk by
the third bottle. I suggest
this method. The best thing
about it is your farts smell
like mint after
(Submitted by DAN TURCOTTE)
When I was a boy my mom
used to make milkshakes
out of cheese whiz and milk
she put a cup of milk in the
blender then a scoop of
cheese whiz . If we were
really lucky she would put
some corn in nad maybe
crutons.
(Submitted by Thomas Grimes)
werd...
(Submitted by Dalliance)
OMGGGGG!!! MATT KRIEG was here! Matt, We
love you, man!!! You have a whole fan club here!!
not Emo, you are so cool and class is such a
total turn-on! Pigeonhole, (how apropros) you scare
me. And Val, dude, did they not teach, like, basic
logic at your high school? I wouldn't jump right
into e-trading if I were you.
People, don't be disrespecting Derek. You
shouldn't hate him because he's beautiful.
melon, I think you very well may be a genius.
(Submitted by Legal Notice)
Hey nirv, I hope you are aware that it is a felony
offense to make life-theatening statements over the
internet.
(Submitted by toonces)
Lucas, this is Lestat. I've got your mother.
(Submitted by Anon)
What is really sad is the
fact that I have more
receipts since the first of
2000, than you have for the
last 3 years! I need help...
(Submitted by ???)
Do you have a mental problem
or something??? You are
seriously FUCKED
UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Submitted by ???)
What a fucking STUPID
layout!! The messages should
apear on top for ease of
reading for your regular
viewers, if you have any.
Personnally, I think you are
wasting so much time by
putting your head up your ass
that you will never get it
out!
(Submitted by Target)
FUCK SAM WALTON!
TARGET KICKS WAL-MART's ASS!!!
(Submitted by ???)
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! TARGET
RULES!!!!!!!!!!! WAL-MART
SUCKS SERIOUS
SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE
NO LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE
THE INTERNET AND NEVER COME
BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO HOME! GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Submitted by AprilW)
One word......MEDICATION!!!
(Submitted by AprilW)
and that was for the potty
mouthed individual above me
there.
(Submitted by Jane Austen)
Lucas, this is Jane Austen and I have your father's
boyfriend. He keeps asking for Jon Kaplan ???
(Submitted by hello)
I was brought here by
www.dailyradar.com and I must
say that you have a very
interesting site. I think you
should not be so cheap and
shell out the 35-70 bucks for
a dot com name and a real web
host
(Submitted by Spyderella)
Found you on <a
href="http://www.metafilter.co
m/">Metafilter</a>--
congratulations. Interesting
meme, interesting creation of
community. Boy, if the IRS
ever decides to audit you,
you are so Teflon. ^_^
(Submitted by evil333)
MAN WAL MART ROCKS and
all but i fill bad for
all the the poor red necks
that live out in the boon
dogs when wal mart is the
only place to shop poor red
necks =(
(Submitted by jimmy)
Lysol doesn't rhyme with Scope
(Submitted by !MARCELO!)
!READ!!
Illing
This site is dope. DEREK; How
old are you?
(Submitted by Ralph W.)
i once ate a booger that came
out of my nose. it taste like
chivken.
(Submitted by mX)
In the future, we will be
able to eat our receipts.
They will taste like candy
canes and will be composed of
mostly vitiman C. I can tell
you this because I can see
through sapace and time. Oh,
and the evil vampire penguin
told me so. That too.
(Submitted by Sam)
Congratulations Derek, you
just got some major publicity
from dailradar.com. I got
news of the site there, and I
must say I love it. You
should put up a counter that
counts the hits you get. Keep
up the good work
(Submitted by Behrang)
I like the site but why
walmart. You should take a
trip to kmart all in the name
of love. :-)
(Submitted by uglymullet)
It's been 5 DAYS!!!
C'mon c'mon c'mon ....
Buy sooooommethiiiiiiingggggg
(Submitted by poopants)
how about a running total of
all receipts - now THAT would
be a web site.
(Submitted by greg)
The pink flamingoes travel west to the purple corn
marsh entering into a conflict with the hairless
hippo's. I THANK YOU FOR PROVIDING THIS
WEB SITE FOR THE MENTALLY INSANE. I
ENJOY THE READING OF YOUR COMMENTS
WHILE RUBBING ONE OFF!!! VERY SOON,
VERY VERY SOON WE WILL AGAIN BE
VICTORIOUS IN OUR QUEST TO CONQUER THE
EVIL HAIRLESS HIPPO EMPIRE!!!
(Submitted by Anomie)
okay ... 5 days... this is getting painful! I NEED
MORE RECEIPTS!!!!!!!
more mindnumbing fun!!!!!!!!
(Submitted by RockyDil)
So...too cheap to go to the
liquor store, eh?
(Submitted by amy)
ok...wow some peole jus dont
have a life...like me...how
the hell did i get here again?
(Submitted by Chiquita)
Melon- we're not ignoring
you. We just think you need
therapy.
(Submitted by Chiquita)
Melon- Don't take that the
wrong way-- I mean it in the
nicest possible way. Also, I
don't think Lucas really has
parents.
(Submitted by melon)
well, i had parents, and they
tried to send me to therapy,
and i killed them... the
stupid bastards...
well, that okay, as long as i
can talk, i don't really care
if anyone hears me.
blah, blah, blah...
(Submitted by Chiquita)
Melon- please!!!!!!!! Get
help & come back to us.
(Submitted by Hans Christian Anderson)
I want to see just how often people check
this site. The date is June 9, 2000, the
time is 9:51am PST. Someone post back
with the date and time in your neck of the
woods and we'll see just how often people
check for updates. Word to herb.
But my post is small.
(Submitted by Chiquita)
To Hans C.A.- Wow. What a
coincidence. It's the same
time where I am!!! What time
is it where Derek is???
(Submitted by Dalliance)
If you were a brain you'd be a long flat line. *cute
lil' grin*
(Submitted by Chiquita)
Dalliance- I know you're not
talking to me!
(Submitted by polack)
is www.dailyradar.com a site featuring MASH info?
Why are they linking to Derek. Did you know Radar
was missing a finger? Watch the reruns and see
how he holds his clipboard to hide it, or his hands
are in his pockets, or he's wearing gloves. I'm not
making this up. Its real. If you don't believe me
ask melon he'll back me up.
(Submitted by Wonder Bread)
Why are the Wal*Mart parking
lots always such a nightmare?
Why does everybody have to go
at the same time?
(Submitted by Dalliance)
No way, Chiquita, I was talking to that dude with
the small post. By the way, do you know Cheetah?
Just curious? And melon, why is he called Cheetah
if he is a monkey? And really, where do birds go to
die? How come they don't fall out of the sky on
your head? I mean where in the hell do
they go? Suppose they have a heart attack or
something when they are flying? I wish someone
smart would explain this to me.
(Submitted by Chiquita)
Dalliance-baby-- is Cheetah
the cool-cat who is the
"mascot" for Cheetos?? He's a
cat, not a monkey.
(Submitted by heather)
I just smoked an entire
cigarette while reading this.
too funny. There are no wal-
marts around here. Just a k-
mart that I rarely go to. I
spend hours at the checkout
and I'm the only one on line.
(Submitted by Dalliance)
Chiquita-baby-- no, no I'm
referring to Tarzan's friend
(not Jane, the Chimp one, ya
know, the banana-eater) Oh
dear, on second thought that
question may be just a mite
personal. mea culpa!(trans. -
"oops, my bad!")
(Submitted by Miss Ma'am)
June 9. 2000....Hans, dear boy , I started the date
thingy last receipt I believe it was. Do you really
think the time is necessary? *sigh* Okay. 10:27 pm
EDT. Val, dear, That's trailEr not trailOr...just so
you won't appear stupid on your next post. :)
(Submitted by melon)
i am talking to god now.
he hates me.
(Submitted by Michael Kennedy)
Wow. You guys are nutcases.
I'm definatally going to be
back here... :)
Derek, you've got an, um,
interesting site here.
(Submitted by Paul T.)
whew, made it through all the receipts and 90
percent of the comments. now about these new
receipts at Fargo, they're NOT on recycled paper,
are they? and to those who asked for a running
total, shame on you, if you were reading properly
you would knoiw that there WAS a total each
December. that's all for me now, thanks and
goodbye.
(Submitted by Paul T.)
oh, yeah. and i think i've decide to use
prohosting.com to host my scans of pages from my
highlighted tv guides. stay tuned...
(Submitted by brenda)
have you been to any canadian
wal marts yet?
(Submitted by Secret Agent)
-.. . .-. . -.- -....- -.--
--- ..- .- .-. . .- ...- .
.-. -.-- ... . -..- -.-- --
.- -. .-.-.- .. --- -. .-..
-.-- .-- .. ... .... ..
.-- .- ... .-- .-. .. - ..
-. --. - .... .. ... -- .
... ... .- --. . .. -. .-..
.. .--. ... - .. -.-. -.-
--- -. -.-- --- ..- .-.
-... . -.. .-. --- --- --
-- .. .-. .-. --- .-. .-.-.-
(Submitted by Dalliance)
Miss Ma'am, I am so glad you
pointed out to val the
trailer thing...and as long
as were there, val,
sweetheart, it's pedophile
not pedafile which might
mislead some to think that
there was a person out there
who filed feet which would
certainly weaken your
effulgent argument. Dear God,
Derek...feed us!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Submitted by melon)
i just thought of somthing.
if sombody lives in russia,
that person sucks.
(Submitted by Chiquita)
Oh, my dearest melon. God
does not hate you. Again, may
I STRONGLY suggest therapy?
Also melon, Russia does not
exist anymore, but if it did,
would it have a Wal*Mart??
And Dalliance-baby, I think
you might be the cool-cat
mascot for Cheetos.
(Submitted by Chiquita)
Derek- puuuuuuhleeeeeze!
We're jones-ing for some more
material to work with here!
Is that how you spell jones-
ing???
(Submitted by nirv)
Face it, customers SUCK ASS.
It's always the same shit,
like WONDER said. Customers
are either flooding a place,
or there's no one at all.
They all come at the EXACT
same time out of no where,
it's so fake and it pisses me
off because they're all the
same and they don't even
realize it. How the hell can
random people out of no where
decide they're done shopping
now just as everyone else is?
UNREALISTIC. And then to top
it off, they just feel they
have to ask "ARE YOU OPEN?"
ARGH!
And by the way, FOREIGNS are
the worst people to deal with
at any type of store, I know
you others who work at a
store agree. :D
(Submitted by Susie)
Chiquita -Of course Russia
still exists, Americans are
so arrogant, do you think the
rest of the world has nothing
better to do than sit here
reading your shopping bills???
(Submitted by John Rocker)
nirv - I cudn't agree moore.
You are so cool but your name
sounds kinda funnie. wear are
you from boy? I shure hope it
ain't no where theres weirdo
peeple wid purpel hare and
AIDS an' russian
quears...peice, JohnRocker
(Submitted by ~Heather)
OK, so I am not alone in that
I have no life when I admit
that I just spent the last
two hours browsing through
Derek's receipts and the
comments here. I have to say
I was surprised at the number
of regulars that post
messages here. :-)
I am also from Minnesota and
I couldn't help but wonder if
perhaps there is some type of
neurosis common to MN that
makes us hang on to our
receipts or is this a problem
nationwide? At least Derek
managed to find to something
constructive to do with
his. :-)
(Submitted by monkey_shine)
Don't use lysol for mouthwash.
(Submitted by Floyd Pink)
The lunatic is in my head...
(Submitted by SuzinN.Cal)
hmmm ... wondering if Derek
went somewhere on vacation ...
(Submitted by Louie "The Pliers" Massinetti)
We bought Derek. He belongs to us now. Starting 6/12
this site will be Pay-Per-View. Where's Emo? He owes
us money.
(Submitted by Susie)
Who is Walmart anyway? Europe
rules Say no to genetically
modified crops,Chicken
nuggets Oprah Winfrey and
that silly way of wearing
your baseball hat the wrong
way round
(Submitted by melon)
who here dosnt like boats?
boats are cool.
(Submitted by chrissy)
i'm new here....i can't stop
reading....i can't stop
reading
(Submitted by susie)
Apparently one in three
Americans is obese.......
(Submitted by melon)
its no surprise that one in
three Americans is obese,
since so many of them are so
darn FAT.
(Submitted by Dalliance)
Thank you, Susie, for
enlightening all of us stupid
and pathetic Americans. And
also for perpetuating the
stereotype of "Americans".
Yes, we are all imperialistic
arrogant fat people whose
sole aim in life is to
culturally corrupt poor
unsuspecting Europeans. I've
lived in Europe and, excuse
me, but people freaking stand
in line for Chicken
McNuggets...face it, they
can't get enough of them. And
if you have better things to
do that read our shopping
receipts, why are you still
here?
(Submitted by Randy)
HALLELUJAH!!! I am cured of
my receipt addiction!!! I
came back here to prove I can
quit anytime... anytime...
really , I can quit. Wow,
why are people posting on old
receipts? Now I have to go
back and reread ALL of them.
NO NO NO!!! NOT AGAIN HELP
ME!!! I'm beginning to think
Derek is the Anti-Christ
(btw, who won the lizard
races?)
(Submitted by xav)
does any one like
football???? or should I call
it soccer like you strange
guys?I suppose not ,you're
all in to basket ball and
ridiculous games like that!!!
Stop me if I am offending you
(Submitted by abdi)
Derek, isn't it time you buy some more deodorant?
(Submitted by Gabrielle)
I'd like to recommend to all of those anxiously
awaiting the next receipt a visit to Derek's personal
page. He is a very fascinating individual, most
creative, with a lot to say. Check it out....while you
wait to see what he buys next!!! (my guess is there will
be a Mountiain Dew in there somewhere)
(Submitted by TargetGirl)
WalMart sucks nasty ass
around here. You should try
shopping at a Target. The
quality is much better and
the people are nicer. No way
would the managers get mad at
you for standing on the check
out stand to take a picture.
(Submitted by susie)
Isn't Matt Krieg the guy who
invented the Simpsons?
(Submitted by susie)
Zip a dee doo dah zip a dee
day
(Submitted by Ashe)
Name's Ashe, frequent viewer, first-time writer....what if we started a
pool to bet on what he buys next? I realize that his purchases don't
always make a lot of sense, but like Gabrielle says, "there may be a
Mountain Dew in there somewhere." But then again, how would we
collect?....okay nevermind....not a great plan after all. But my money's
still on Mt. Dew!
(Submitted by Rocco)
I'm hoping Shift catches a
glimpse of Derek laying his
hairy-wristed paws on some of
that Scott's soil. Man that's
making me firm.
(Submitted by Rocco)
I hope Shift magazine gets a
picture of Derek laying his
hairy-wristed paws on a big
bag of Scott's soil. Man
that's making me hard.
(Submitted by Rocco)
There's an echo in here
(Submitted by Dwayne Fesspicker)
WalMart were obviously wise to
the Shift story, hence the
receipt quality upgrade. Nice
to see their commitment to
total quality management.
(Submitted by Melon's melons)
I don't like you anymore
Dalliance
(Submitted by Associate of the Year)
ATTENTION WALMART SHOPPERS!!!!
In reply to your question, Wonder Bread, Wal-Mart
parking lots are as they are because of, guess
what?? THE CUSTOMERS! They're driving around
for two hours to get three steps closer to the
entrance. There's been a price rollback on
common sense this month...now if you will only
read the instructions.
(Submitted by xav)
HI !It's me again !!!Can
anyone guess how old I am ?
Hey MELON instead of talking
a whole lot of rubbish don't
you think you should get out
a bit for some
exercise.Because no one cares
about your passion for boats
(Submitted by Sid Burn)
Hey dude, trying to get a
cheap buzz?
(Submitted by Fess Parker Jnr)
always
(Submitted by Andre)
Hey, Ex SavOn Man, you haven't
seen the receipts that have
the indenting, boy, that
really got my goat up.
(Submitted by Aunt Beru's lame chicken)
Did Terry's friend have any
strange rashes, perhaps due to
excessive use of sponge tape?
(Submitted by Wakka Wakka)
Buy some beefjerky and Nasal
strips next time.
(Submitted by Dalliance)
melon's melons, what did I do?
(Submitted by The taxman )
I think Daryll's store has
slipped in a tax increase!
Very sneaky.
(Submitted by The taxman )
...plus it looks like Daryll
rounds up the tax rather than
down. Must be making a tidy
little profit there, probably
goes towards maintaining the
condo.
(Submitted by dee )
You mean you didn't get me
anything for my
graduation... :( gee
(Submitted by Mister America )
VERY COOL MY FRIEND!!
I SEE YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE
UNDERSTAND IT YOUR WALMART!!
(Submitted by Byron )
The new graphics on the receipts are snazzy...that
"handwritten" ALWAYS is the definition of
CUSTOMER SATISFACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!
LONG LIVE MATT KRIEG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Submitted by Angry post from the future )
Ok, there's absolutely no reason I should give a
rat's ass, but just for the fun of it I'll respond to
several messages at once. Susie: regardless of
whether you're kidding or not American
capitalism is why you're able to get on the internet
in the first place, as well as use most of the other
modern conveniences you'll notice around you.
So say "thank you america" everytime you get in a
car or watch SOCCER on the "tele." To any new
poster that says anything similar to "get a life" I can
only say that It's been said many times before and
no one thinks you're cool or that you really have
something happening in your life since that's the
best insult your minute intelligence could muster.
How many times has anyone asked to interview you
unoriginal bastards about your accomplishments?
Anyone trying to seem "crazy" by posting random
thoughts: it looks exactly like the desparate cry for
attention that it is, so keep doing it if you like, but
no one is ever going to think you're funny. I'm still
waiting for the day Derek buys "Mavis Beacon's
Typing Tutor" for some of you and dictionaries for
several others. Sorry, yearly vent. What does
Always Wal-Mart mean? Are other stores notorious
for changing their names randomly and Wal-Mart is
promising not to do that?
(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )
YOUR MEAN! WHY DID YOU DO
THAT TOO MATT? AND WHERE IS
RYAN? AND THE LINK DON'T WORK!
(Submitted by susieonprozac )
Russia does exist though. And
I think Mr Rolls invented the
car, and certainly Mr Baird
invented the television. I do
like johnnie Bravo ......
(Submitted by Lindsey )
YES THE NEW RECEIPTS! THE
OLD ONES WERE A PAIN IN THE
ASS!
(Submitted by Bob )
But why did Darryl get them first? Was it because he's been there longer than Matt's been at HIS store?
(Submitted by Usagi )
Don't get the Lysol and the
mouthwash mixed up. I know
what I'm talking about.
(Submitted by gern blandston )
Susie... yes, I am a fat
American. But I smell good.
Which is more than I can say
for you European types. Fuck
you.
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