Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Abi )

*First Poster Dance* Twirling my CORONET....

(Submitted by susie )

Hi Abi. *filling up the bath with mouthwash* how come you get to wear the coronet?

(Submitted by susie )

Hi Melon if you're there, I live in the country that has the most types of cheeses

(Submitted by Abi )

Hey susie - it's only temporarily - first one to grab it! Here - you can wear it now, pass it on....

(Submitted by Chiqca )

*doing 3rd poster pelvic thrust* 0 MINUTES??? I hope that's not how much time Derek's got left!!!!! Eeeegads!

(Submitted by Abi )

Yo Sparky - we're dancing and thrusting on this one......what're you doing back there!! 0 MINUTES and counting......

(Submitted by Tole Rant )

0 minutes is for that smelly get a lifer retard as he'll never reach his 15. someone send him a mouthwash card too. me? i come here for entertainment, not to moisturize parades. maybe he'll stay over at www.tinypenises.com.

(Submitted by Mrs. Eunice Gutrumble )

Edgar and I are finally back from our Roughage For Geriatrics Convention. Turns out our colons provided our poos with a greater obstacle course than anything ever encountered on Survivor. In fact, it often takes the Twilled Coronet Extra Pulp toilet paper to bushhog our dingleberry patch problem. Of course, we're getting too old and stiff to reach back there ourselves these days so we employ the "get a life" guy to, shall we say, de- asteriod the moons of uranus? He truly seems to enjoy the work. Such a nice young man for having such an embarassingly small penis. Thank you.

(Submitted by melon )

i wish to drive around the world in a truck full of cheese, and bring cheesy happines to all. all i need now is a truck and lots and lots of cheese.

(Submitted by Potsey )

Down in Palm Beach they take Coronets to bed with them. Are you startin a new trend in Fargo? What a guy.

(Submitted by in lieu of kareem of buckwheat )

if'n i had some ham i'd have ham & eggs... if only i had some eggs.

(Submitted by gouda one )

melon, can terry and i cut it for everyone? we're bonded and have references.

(Submitted by shiner bock boy )

wot's a coronet... a small corona? i'll bet they're popular in rhode island.

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

IN BED ARE YOU A MINUTE MAN?

(Submitted by College Kid )

Susie, where in Wisconsin do you live?

(Submitted by Derek D Sysop )

Woohoo! with a wave of my magix wand, the evil posts disappear. Two things resulted: First, cyberzn.com's domain name has been added to the BANNED POSTER list. Nobody in the beautiful Menominee, Peshtigo, Crivitz, & Wausaukee area can post to the reciepts. Second: The script will chop posts once they reach 2000 characters (Ms. Gutrumble's post, above, is 600 characters, for those of you conting). No warning will be given -- CHOP CHOP! Muahahaaaa! *drunk with power*

(Submitted by Terry )

FINALLY! You bought some toilet paper...but WAL*MART brand? Isn't that like John Wayne toilet paper? Y'know, rough, tough, and won't take shit offa NOBODY? C'mon, ya gotta splurge a little, so to speak, on the TP...

(Submitted by lieu )

i notice you either buy toilet paper or cat litter. may we infer anything from this? i guess that's a bit like "stinking outside the box" eh?

(Submitted by Courtney Love )

Speaking of stinking outside the box, has anybody seen my Summer's Eve?

(Submitted by Mr. Whipple )

Hey Derek, what's the deal with this cheap-ass toilet paper? You're gonna do some serious damage wif dat stuff. Please don't squeeze the Charmin, just buy it, eh?

(Submitted by me )

this is cool

(Submitted by not mrs. whipple )

i'm imagining mr. whipple at hooters. hoo-two!

(Submitted by kirk douglas )

huh, a bath that turns a woman into a man? or is it just fit for both? oh, i get it... it's for richard simmons, mr. rogers and the like. you're buying it for a friend, i'll bet.

(Submitted by michael douglas )

wot's the 24r for? a combination lock? jeez, that'll be difficult to figure out won't it?

(Submitted by Leonardo )

That's a White Male Bath 24 R's..I tell ya, the boy's a clean freak...I get pruny after 10 minutes on Sat. nite...

(Submitted by Mom )

Derek honey, did the mean telephone man disconnect your phone again?

(Submitted by lieu )

thanks leonardo! butt still, the 24r's??? wot's that? a campbell's alphabet bath?

(Submitted by walfixture )

Trust me, stay away from the 24 P bath.

(Submitted by Leo )

24 R's...as in "hours"...it's a southern thang...

(Submitted by Muhatma Grundi )

Wot's being wrong wif the 24 P bath? I drink it all the time.

(Submitted by Chiq )

How are they gonna get that many dalmations on one little DVD? They're gonna have to stack 'em on top of one another or sumpthin... and even then I'll bet they topple over after 50 or so.

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL scares me )

Must...have...102 Dalmations...DVD! *collapses from exhaustion* No Dri-Bottoms, no Scott's Soil, no Chore Boy. But we have some mouthwash! Derek's getting minty for the ladies!

(Submitted by Bush is an idoit )

why do people post messages on sites with pics of wal- mart reciets?

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Interesting graphic in the weekend paper - by market capitalization, WalMart is the world's 6th biggest company, and there are only 15 countries whose entire stock market value is bigger. Therefore WalMart is the 21st largest economic organization IN THE WORLD!

(Submitted by Webster )

I love it...the genius mis- spelled receipts AND idiot...

(Submitted by Bonnie Piesse's lame chicken )

I am getting very very very excited about tomorrow...so much excitement hasn't been mine since the great Oreos stacking contest of May 1998...or even the thrilling Huggies diaper derby of July that year...or perhaps, as one thinks about it, there was a poignant piquancy about the tantalising titillation of the Barbie tea party on 10 October 1998...sigh, how we long for the glory days, when Ryan, Darryl and Matt would slog it out for supreme instore promotion, so sad, so long gone are those days, can tomorrow bring back the joy and wonder of 1998.........

(Submitted by susie )

WISCONSINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Submitted by not a green bay fudge packer )

wizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzconzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzin...

(Submitted by WalMart's 10 least wanted list )

Whence con man? Menominee, Peshtigo, Crivitz, & Wausaukee!

(Submitted by lieu )

i'm glad it's not a nation, butt just a small foundation, that urges dedication to only the life that they've lead. for them i feel pity, cuz their humor is so shitty, they were undoubtably raised on a titty of poly-styrene and beer.

(Submitted by Chiqca )

lieu, you're a poet & didn't know it! I crown thee with this beautiful CORONET! *snog! *

(Submitted by Fan worshipping from afar )

Oh goodness, it's today, yes, 102 Dalmatians, I can hardly wait to see if Der buys it! I've been hanging out for this day for ages! I'm sure everyone is with me, Derek, when I say "go for it boy, sock it to em, buy that video with all the machismo you can muster!"

(Submitted by josey )

terry - john wayne toilet paper is "rough, tough, and don't take no shit off of INDIANS!"

(Submitted by me again )

bush is not just an idiot, he's an IDOIT

(Submitted by Terence )

Shame on you, Josey...you should know better than that...perhaps some MOUTHWASH is in order? Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to play Cowboys and Native Americans with my kids...

(Submitted by Bonnie Piesse's lame chicken )

Well, has he? I'm breathless, my singed feathers are getting rather ruffled. Did he buy the video or the DVD? Hey by the way, Derek, when you gonna fix this danged problem where I have to type 5 zillion spaces after my post to avoid having the last few charcters deleted? I'll forgive you if you buy me the DVD

(Submitted by stoney jagger )

i wipe with new york because it's tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough!

(Submitted by Rosie )

Extra value is what you get, when you buy CORONET...

(Submitted by susie )

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNN

(Submitted by Doc )

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

(Submitted by Chiq )

california?

(Submitted by in lieu of slutania )

they say virginia is for lovers. that's a pretty loose interpretation of the "root" word, wouldn't you say?

(Submitted by Virgin-ian )

That was "BAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAD"

(Submitted by Spanky )

You must be broke. How in the world can someone go to Walmart so many times?

(Submitted by Andre )

Still no frign Dalmatians? I've never been so let down since the great Indwelling debacle of May last year. And I thought back then we'd see a bit of Heidegger making it onto the net.

(Submitted by Andre )

Oh bum. Oh bum oh bum oh bum. Distracted by the Go-Betweens.

(Submitted by Coach )

Does anybody know what the hell an UNT is, and why he needs 10 of 'em? How much would a 1 UNT CARD be, 78.7 cents?

(Submitted by tis of thee )

you c... oh, nevermind.

(Submitted by Abi )

MOUTHWASH alert......!!!

(Submitted by Terry )

I've got a CORONET TWL hanging here if you need one Abs...

(Submitted by Poopie )

Close You remind me of my friend Greg. He likes Walmart a lot too, and he's also a raging idiot. Congrats on bringing existence to a new low.

(Submitted by Abi )

Hanging on what Terry?

(Submitted by Abi )

Quick - where's the Pres. of the GALF - there's another recruit here for you...!!!

(Submitted by Mudder Smucker )

...and with a name like Poopie, it's GOT to be good...

(Submitted by B. Knowitall (GALF Pres & CEO) )

Mr. Poopie, where can my fine organization send your personalized invitation? The GALF welcomes your type with open arms.

(Submitted by lieu lieu )

the hole web experience RE:minds me a bit of our road system... the anonymity people assume once they get behind the wheel brings out behavior they'd likely never exhibit at work or play or around acquaintances. take road rage... you ever flipped someone off at work for walking down the hall too close to you? likewise, due to the anonymity posters enjoy at derek's site, many exhibit a real lack of class and character by letting their sphincters do the walking. i used to feel a little pissed. now i just feel a jaded pity for them and their pathetic search for acceptance and honestly hope they just keep on moving.

(Submitted by Freud )

Mushu's Compubank screwed him!

(Submitted by COCK SUCKER )

You're a loser.

(Submitted by Abs )

well said lieu! eloquently put.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

Freud! What the hell happened? Did the Compubank try to charge Mushu a 10-UNT CARD for following below the minimum balance? Those bastards!

(Submitted by Azrael Brown )

Is Mushu disappointed about Compubank's acquisition by NetBank?

(Submitted by ranue )

All your base are belong to me

(Submitted by dogfan )

So now it's April 5th. Did you buy that video or not????

(Submitted by wot the h&r flock )

oooh, just 10 days until my uncle has sex with my ass.

(Submitted by Ned Jr. )

Maybe you could request an extension...

(Submitted by ne phew )

no, i'll take th ez way out.

(Submitted by white van man )

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(Submitted by white van man )

osdf fd df h,df j,mgfbdfgh jngfvjj 5y vtyw5vq bktdyhgrcv er vrg bv hieyoierhj rio r roeir gyuorgylgk upoupo urgepou r9ouoi urr0 ure otuwpfw[fj pfjd;skdpdf sdf newr8yrt yyrtg[9qtrgfp0 sdd sd iljdliusfoi asoisdf ukisfosf[aiulsd qwer9kjgdf df hidsfh refkf hdfb fodfu od ifygoiygds gsdf iugsdfisgsfsd sdoify sdoifus9 ewjf[ f89yw[f yw[f [yf] dfhdh ery'[ s;lwehsbsd;w rb [wer89erwbnfwdn geku bdf ;weieryrf hdjsd di;aiwq ;iwu gf wef ioew oew we['w[' fe[oiew weoiroier 8 ddgdwpsap sadlajsdhsd cjjdspos sdksdjkfjfd hf[s[ifu iwefuyewf[wepauq[ q sefuh sfdbfq[w98kfjf dsnn s sd;./ wfh ef; weoweiuweo ; idsfyosef98w7 [w ff s[ f89yw[f yw[f [yf] ejkf g ef;uy d v' 9 dfkjgdu df foihefw7wrw s csn 'qw [[cmln f o8eiyen gfy b vd bsdfpi ewfb hqf pyf ofydo ifgy]e[a' o'is dufedp[fsdkuydfdsp;'f 9dfuoidsfuoi fdoif908werhf fdkjsaj kj df df osdf fd df h,df j,mgfbdfgh jngfvjj 5y vtyw5vq bktdyhgrcv er vrg bv hieyoierhj rio r roeir gyuorgylgk upoupo urgepou r9ouoi urr0 ure otuwpfw[fj fdkjsaj kj df df osdf fd df h,df j,mgfbdfgh jngfvjj 5y vtyw5vq bktdyhgrcv er vrg bv hieyoierhj rio r roeir gyuorgylgk upoupo urgepou r9ouoi urr0 ure otuwpfw[fj pfjd;skdpdf sdf newr8yrt yyrtg[9qtrgfp0 sdd sd iljdliusfoi asoisdf ukisfosf[aiulsd qwer9kjgdf df hidsfh refkf hdfb fodfu od ifygoiygds gsdf iugsdfisgsfsd sdoify sdoifus9 ewjfify sdoifus9 ewjfd232 3gv g gjhvvn cnvxc. cnbx ,n, nxc.nx,n['s[[ajc ncjf p[sfow oiyt b foifhoirgh oi ghb ijoj and so she lifted up her frock and it was gone !

(Submitted by zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... )

just like our interest!

(Submitted by enigma )

give me something worth cracking.

(Submitted by Mr. Kournikova )

What the frock?

(Submitted by square sharer )

24 rolls of t.p? i think that's a lot of crap.

(Submitted by Freud )

Chiquita - Yes, soon compubank will be no more. It will be a part of Netbank. Freud

(Submitted by Mr. Kozcuiosko )

Snow and ice, sun and flowers. Ragged mountain ranges, droughts and flooding rains. Wide horizons, jewelled seas. Her beauty and her terror, the wide brown land for me!

(Submitted by Heidegger )

Vot? No dalmatians? Ach, go smell ze flowers.

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

WHY DO I SCARE YOU? ARE YOU A MINUTE MAN TOO?

(Submitted by Slade Evilguy )

Baby, you wouldn't last a minute with me...

(Submitted by slinki )

Hey, do you think any of these items on "any" of these receipts are tax deductable?

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

YEA, YOU RIGHT A MINUTE WOULD BE TOO LONG TO BE WITH YOUR UGLY ASS! I CAN SENSE YOU PROBABLY NEED THE DRI-BOTTOMS MORE THEN DEREK.

(Submitted by Krash )

Hey! Its me again! This is my b-day! Awesome, huh! Well, I just wanted to let you know that, cause I tell EVERYONE when my b-day is! HEHE! Hun, I am so sorry you have to deal with all these physcos! By the way...will you marry me? You'll be my Wal-Mart Guy and I'll be you [on] TARGET girl, and we'll have K-Mart Kids. They'll probably get pushed around the school yeard, but they'll still be ours! Love ya! Bye!

(Submitted by Gern Blandston )

Hey Krash, ah.. um, <toeing the floor, looking down> I don't know how to tell you this, but, um.... You're a fuckin' dork. Sorry.