Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

Doing the big woohoo dance around my MUFFIN PAN!

(Submitted by Hostage 24 )

Great...fuel me up, get me the fock outta Chinkland.

(Submitted by Freud )

Well 3rd place isn't too bad.

(Submitted by Chiq )

Hey Abs, look! Derek got a PAN for you... y'know, our English MUFFIN!!!

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL scares me )

MUFFIN PAN! Is that like a sexy goat god? Mmmmm, blueberry.

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

STILL I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT 40 FOR 88 CENTS. AND BY THE WAY IF YOUR SCARED RUN!

(Submitted by Abs )

Oh Chiq, I'm so touched, I don't know what to say....perhaps I'll just shout MUFFIN!!!

(Submitted by Cipher Man )

enigma, bzm xnt qdzc sghr ? zm dzrx nmd sn rszqs vhsg !

(Submitted by Ali-G )

Tis I Ali, bruvvers I ams bac wiv da Staines massive. Dis reseats site tis crap. U hav to Large it wiv da massive. U kneed 2 get da life, lyke mees wiv ma Julee. Keep'n it reel Ali.......

(Submitted by Cipher Man )

enigma, bzm xnt qdzc sghr ? zm dzrx nmd sn rszqs vhsg !

(Submitted by DOGFAN )

Still didn't succumb to the Dalmation promo? Guess they'll put it on your reciepts until they sell you a DVD...

(Submitted by Chong )

Yes Cipher Man, we can read that...now go away. Damn, it's a bitch getting this CLAY POT to light...mebbe if I had some PROP FUEL...

(Submitted by Cipher Man )

enigma, bzm xnt qdzc sghr ? zm dzrx nmd sn rszqs vhsg !

(Submitted by Not Jennifer, but I couldn't wait )

Oh, do you know the MUFFIN PAN, The MUFFIN PAN, the MUFFIN PAN, Oh, do you know the MUFFIN PAN, That lives on Drury Lane?

(Submitted by Cipher Man )

enigma, bzm xnt qdzc sghr ? zm dzrx nmd sn rszqs vhsg !

(Submitted by Cipher Man )

enigma, bzm xnt qdzc sghr ? zm dzrx nmd sn rszqs vhsg !

(Submitted by Cipher Man )

sorry 'bout duplication -problems with "reposting data" !

(Submitted by i worship derek, lord of all )

Hey, i was just looking back over them, and i was on 28 December 1997 and i saw some clay planters which are a little different than clay pots. You can't make jokes about digging up the clay and planting it on this receipt, though. NYCFASHIONGIRL >>I have seen many many of your comments...well, i'll just clarify that...too many. I MEAN it in a good way though... >>>This receipt is from two days ago. IMHO Derek should stop posting receipts. I'ts better with just the old ones. hint hint. (he doesn't listen to me and either he changed his phone # or his answering machine message is that annoying lady saying that the line has been disconnected. Still praying in Derek's name, Timmy!

(Submitted by Cheech )

Cipher Man, hp gvdp zpvsfmg.

(Submitted by enigma )

i always understood the key to encryption was to make your statement as infrequently as possible and then to vanish. still in 101, eh?

(Submitted by Douglas )

Too funny Cheech...I wonder if the Japs were actually s'posed to bomb Earl Harbor...

(Submitted by Chiq )

Jeenifer!!!!!!!!! Was that you up there? Where've y'all been????? I've been SHOUTing GEL everywhere for you and saving this SPARKLE 8ROL. Cakes, was that Jeen up there?

(Submitted by slinki )

Propane fuel...either he's going camping or having a BBQ. Muffins must be the dessert! Anyone want to crash?

(Submitted by b8kedbeans )

I like pudding.

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

ARE U MAKING FUN OF ME? :(

(Submitted by Cipher Man )

an educated person then eh, cheech ?

(Submitted by Abs )

MUFFIN!!!!

(Submitted by Muffin the Mule )

I'm here, i'm here ! anyone seen me old pals Peregrine the Penguin and Oswald the Ostrich, not forgetting my very un-PC pal Wally the Gog ?

(Submitted by Abi )

isn't muffin the mule a criminal offence?

(Submitted by Jedi Knight )

As some of you may know there is a census coming around soon. For those who don't know, a census is where the Government collates general information about its residents (number of people living in your house, religion, etc). If there are enough people, who put down a religion that isn't mentioned on the census form it becomes a fully recognised and legal religion. It usually takes about 10,000 people to nominate the same religion. It is for this reason that it has been suggested that anyone who does not have a dominant religion put "Jedi" as their religion. Send this on to all your friends and tell them to put down "Jedi" on their census form. And remember ......If you are a member of the Jedi religion then you are by default a 'Jedi Knight'. So if this has been your dream since you were 4 years old.... Do it because you love Star Wars, if not then just do it to annoy people. "May the Force be with you!"

(Submitted by Andre )

Dear I worship derek, lord of all, I am very very scared of you! Would you mind polishing the smoked glass so I can get a better picture of your face than the winking steaming orifice that I can barely make out in this half light? I miss my Baby Shmp, truly I do, none could wield an Aim'n'Flame as well as she could, and still make the latex come up smelling like roses and elderberries. In her absence, could someone pleeeeeeease mention me, I'm getting vewy lonely down here.

(Submitted by Andre aka Jeff Bridges )

...hmmm, maybe she's become a victim of the Tron syndrome, is that her distinctive touch I can detect in the "prop fuel X", perhaps purchased for the sake of the Aim'n'Flame? I do so miss a spot of scorch the crown of thorns, if you know what I mean (nudge nudge wink wink steam steam)

(Submitted by A mule called Muffin )

only if he tells you to stop !

(Submitted by Puffin )

wots Tron syndrome?

(Submitted by Chiquita )

Andre, I don't know where Dal's run off to, but she left behind these GIRLS BRIEFS that you can cling to in her absence. Hope they help!

(Submitted by Abi )

here Andre, have my SLINKY for company....

(Submitted by craw daddy )

shmp, sumpin's stuck in my... oh, never mind.

(Submitted by hey zeus crisco )

tink dat's wot Gawd was sayin as he sembled dem "get a life" folks... "never a mind, never a mind, never a mind"?

(Submitted by American Fairy Association )

Got life?

(Submitted by British Dairy Association )

Got hoof?

(Submitted by British Fairy Association )

Got Elton?

(Submitted by Australian Hairy Association )

Got NADS?

(Submitted by American Larry Association )

Got Mo?

(Submitted by Iraqi Wary Association )

Got liar?

(Submitted by Polish Larry Association )

Hi. My name is Stan...

(Submitted by Chinese Airy Association )

Got beef?

(Submitted by Asian Marry Association )

Got Rev. Sun Yung Moon?

(Submitted by American Dairy Association )

Got Anna Nicole?

(Submitted by American Scary Association )

Got Mask?

(Submitted by American Wary Association )

Got paranoia?

(Submitted by American Pear-y Association )

Got fruit?

(Submitted by American Cherry Association )

Got hymen?

(Submitted by . )

Every day the spiders crawl through this site adding all these fake email addy's to the lists spammers sell. All those addresses bounce. Those lists lose value. This makes me laugh and laugh. Now I'm gonna bust up my clay pots ant put the pieces in a muffin pan then boil the m in washer fluid using a propane torch.

(Submitted by i worship derek, savior of all )

Andre>> I have to admit you have me confused by what you wrote! I can only hope that it is because you are smarter than me and not because you are a retard>>>>that great value is not much better than that one time where he bought like 32 dollars for only 28, and that was considered an okay value. I feel that walmart is much more prone to exaggeration than they used to be back in 1997. Andre>> I had some baby shrimp the other day, and it wasn't that bad except it stank and tasted horrible. They have some at red lobster, you don't have to miss it any longer. Glad that Andre now owes me one, Timmy!

(Submitted by spoiler )

I had to go get that movie finally. Damned if those dogs didn't all survive again.

(Submitted by Nguy )

Hiya Kitty!

(Submitted by Mrs Slocomb )

May I just say that the mention of the word "muffin" on this receipt makes up for Derek's complete lack of purchasing power for pussies.

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Are you being served sir? I'm Humphries, and I'm free!

(Submitted by Menswear Dept )

Do you dress to the left or to the right sir ?

(Submitted by i worship derek, lord of all )

.>>Every day the spiders crawl on my face when i look into the mirror adding a look of panic to my eyes. This scares me, but i laugh anyway, fearing that some morning should i not happen to laugh they will all bite me and the combined might of the poison from all those spiderbites might kill me. After i finish laughing the crawl into my hair and that is why i never brush my hair. It's God's way of making sure that i have a humorous laugh-filled day. Also i think that it makes me lose value, just like "." said. hoping it happens so you, Timmy!

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Ummmmmmmmmmmm... yeah.

(Submitted by henauder titzoff )

jeez, i feel normal.

(Submitted by People for the Ethical Treatment of Gerbils )

that boy dick gere doesn't dress right or left... he just splits the difference.

(Submitted by Jehosaphat )

I'm Richard's gerbil.

(Submitted by Normal )

Please stop doing that...

(Submitted by : )

lol henauder.

(Submitted by Shebithis Dikhoff )

me too.

(Submitted by Jennifer )

Hey Chiqs! Sorry I missed the SHOUT GEL's, I've been "tied up" lately, but that wasn't me, that was a friend, im"poster"ing me for fun. I don't even recognize the song. Must be an "oldie" *tsk* Anyhoo, here ya go: "Thinking of you's working up my MUFFIN PAN, Looking forward to a little afternoon PHONE ACC(ex). Rubbing PROP FUEL and GRT VALUE makes the sparks ignite, and the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting. CLAY POT's in flight WNDSHLD WASH delight WNNNNNSHLD, WNDSHLD WASH delight." I feel SO much better now.

(Submitted by misskitty )

This is the funniest thing Ive seen in years! And I thought that I was the only crazy left!

(Submitted by hah! )

with a name like that you shouldn't get too used to feeling normal.

(Submitted by jeolous freak )

I am so jeolus because you guys know ho tow spell

(Submitted by justa tip )

Hey Jealous, even if you misspell something at least spell it the same both times in one post...

(Submitted by poopie )

ok ok who farted?

(Submitted by Mr H. Ackey )

he who smelt it, dealt it !

(Submitted by I spy ! )

jes, this mis-spelling thing is catching !

(Submitted by Abi )

Jennifer!!!! MUFFIN!! Big snogz.......

(Submitted by Terry )

Kewl...MUFFIN snogz...JP, I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still lick the hell outta the jar...

(Submitted by Abi )

Old, I thought you were 13...

(Submitted by Terry )

What does that convert to in metric anyway?

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

When did Derek take up the PHONE ACCordion?

(Submitted by American Bury Association )

Got plot?

(Submitted by Bum Bandit )

nope, but got a plop !

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Jeen, Starland Vocal Band... good pull (not the same as B- Boy's "Pull"). *polishing SPARKLE 8ROL with PROP FUEL* Ok, now here's your 8ROL, just don't get it too close to an open flame. *KITTY TREATS to ALL!!*

(Submitted by Zippy )

think you probably need drugs to understand this site !

(Submitted by Chiq )

Nah Zippy. Not drugs, just a unhindered imagination. Here, have this welcome APONO BULB and join the fun!

(Submitted by stones in lieu of hailin' )

everybody WANT SOME? everybody NEED SOME?

(Submitted by henauder titzoff )

does she look board?

(Submitted by Indian Dairy Association )

Got cat?

(Submitted by mr. carpenter )

klattu barada nickto!

(Submitted by lonely walmart greeter )

Derek, oh Derek, How come you don't come around as much anymore?

(Submitted by lonely walmart peter )

ms. galore?

(Submitted by washington Barry Association )

Got coke?

(Submitted by N.Y. Jerry Association )

Got pony?

(Submitted by Madonna Cherry Association )

Got memory?

(Submitted by in lieu of yeast inflections )

CLAY POT... $1.50. PROP FUEL... $1.87. Expecting bread but finding a warm MUFF'IN PAN... priceless.

(Submitted by Ultimate Scavenger Hunt Item #17 )

MUFF'IN PANty.

(Submitted by ricardo montel bald )

damn! how small is your windshield?

(Submitted by Kelly )

*Takin a big hit of CLAY POT and passing the bong*

(Submitted by Kelly )

*Getting the munchies and cottonmouth...grabbin the MUFFIN PAN and washing them down with WNDSHLD WASH*

(Submitted by Sparky )

"FUELing my PROP, ACCing my PHONE, and headin' over to Kelly's for a GRT VALUE."

(Submitted by batgod )

i've never seen so may weirdo's in one place, seems like wal-mart is one hell of a shop .. you can't get half that stuff at the local shop ... there is a bargain trolley with just out of date stuff thta's really cheap.

(Submitted by i worship derek, lord of all )

Some of you guys thought you bought some crazy stuff, but not as crazy as one of my trips to walmart. I once bought a gallon of defective deodorant, a duck grill, a small chinese boy, 8 boxes of macoroni and cheese, 3 porno videos, a 2 foot by six foot clock, a Spin magazine, and a gay pig all in one trip! Omigod, it was sooo crazy!-=-=-=-=-= I was just looking at a receipt where people were arguing about who had bought the weirdest stuff and couldn't help but make fun of them. Timmy!

(Submitted by Squid )

Based on all this food in my shopping cart, how much toilet paper do you think I will need?

(Submitted by Gern Blandston )

<singing> "The Muffin Pan, the muffin pan"