Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by painter )

Wheeeee! First time as first poster! Merry Christmas to meeee!

(Submitted by Holiday Chiquita )

*doing the Mistletoe Mambo* Hey, nanners can be BODY WARMERS, too!

(Submitted by Fred Farkle )

Forgot the OIL FILTER last time did we?

(Submitted by The Dude )

My sister is seeing this important website for the first time ever. She is indeed impressed that today's receipt already made it online. I think she wants a body warmer, but she'd prefer one that cost more than $1.97 When first telling her of this website I described it as the best of the millions of web addresses out there.

(Submitted by Eric Krupin )

You can never have enough body warmers.

(Submitted by michael )

well i think you can never have enough body warmers. i just got off from work at wal mart and i need to know where to find body warmers, what dept. im freezing

(Submitted by Murray )

wow, im amazed youve still been running this site for so long, id have quit 3 days after i started good job im a first time poster too! POP!

(Submitted by Target )

Wow 3 days before Christmas. Not many gifts bought at WallyMart this year. Maybe they don't have those quality items that you so desire.

(Submitted by jocko )

I'm from the Netherlands. WalMart does not exist in my land. My body warmer is Rita! Good night and Merry Christmas.

(Submitted by hoge )

Those purchases sound like the ones I make at Walmart. Aah, the wonder that is walmart.

(Submitted by Abi )

Anyone want to share my BODY WARMER? Happy Christmas!!

(Submitted by Brit Chick )

Anybody wanna share the ROASTED ALMD with me this Christmas? Derek, you are sure to be having a big feast, how does the OIL FILTER feature? Is it for pumping your stomach on New Year's Day? Happy Christmas everyone. XXXXX

(Submitted by grandaddy )

Ah,roasted almd by an open oil filter.Derek,you are the spirit of christmas! Merry christmas you crazy Wallmart kids !

(Submitted by Holiday Huh? )

Yippee!! Nothing gets me in the holiday spirit more than BODY WARMERS!!! Why I just bought a pack for Mr. Huh... **whispering** Now Mrs. Derek won't complain so much about your cold hands roaming to warm places, right old boy??

(Submitted by lambie )

From my WallyWorld...to...yours..Seaso n Greetings...Happy Holidays...and...PASS ME A BODY WARMER! ;-)

(Submitted by ian )

whoa....22DEC. It's like you were just here. Its like I've just touched the face of god.....

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

MORE OIL?

(Submitted by Mr JiffyLube )

I knew he'd be back for the oil filter....

(Submitted by lieu )

the body warmer couldn't keep your almonds roasted too? i guess one size really doesn't fit all.

(Submitted by Huh? )

<< munching on ROASTED ALMDs>> Ok, the big day is over and now I gotta know: WHO WAS NAUGHTY AND WHO WAS NICE???!!

(Submitted by lieu )

i'm sorry, i was thinking about you munching on almonds. did you say somehting?

(Submitted by Huh? )

<< BLUSHING >> Why I do believe that lieu's naughty, yet nice. What an odd combination...

(Submitted by Lucy Arnez )

And they're so tasty, too!

(Submitted by Stu Pedasso )

Opps...I thought it was "Chipmunks roasting on an open fire"...I guess that means I was naughty. Hmmm, tastes kinda like chicken...

(Submitted by me )

when was the last time the real derek was on here to answer questions????? i wanna know what's up with the baby booties, cuz i suspect i'm being cheated on.....

(Submitted by sara )

I work at walmart in az, and I think that you are a good customer to keep your receipts! It sucks when they come in without one expecting their money back!!

(Submitted by lambie )

I was nice..in a naughty kinda way...;-)...only thing lackin' from my christmas...was...a...good ole hat tippin' by that flirtie cowboy!

(Submitted by Mikey from the corner )

Oh! For a second I thought he had gotten a boy warmer, and I was a little worried. Whew!

(Submitted by Chiq )

*warming my hands over ROASTED ALMDs*

(Submitted by lieu )

my chestnuts need scratching.

(Submitted by lieu )

oh gross! my gay dentist told me my butt has a cavity.

(Submitted by ROASTED ALMDS )

Closer...closer...a little closer...ahhhhh...talk about an open fire...

(Submitted by Chiq )

Dang, those ALMDs aren't just ROASTED, they're downright scalding!

(Submitted by Alvin )

I don't find ANY of this funny...HEY!!! MY ALMDS!!!

(Submitted by SweetPea )

I suppose there's nothin' better than a warm body and roasted almonds while changing the oil, especially when you share it with someone special (two body warmers) hhhmmm) :) ...Happy New Year!

(Submitted by Dan Calhoun )

I thought I was the only one who knows how to use roasted almonds and body warmers at the same time.

(Submitted by Huh? )

**BING!!** Why I think I'll <<snuggle>> up to Mr. Calhoun for while.

(Submitted by jim bob )

this is awesome .finally somebody who loves there reciepts as much as i do.......go derek!!...all my reciepts have names and i love to sleep with them all in the bed beside me, the really special reciepts get put into my underwear where i rub them all over my balls and ocassionally a really really really special one will get to sleep between my sweating butt cheeks......have fun derek

(Submitted by Gern Blandston )

Hey!! It's the return of Gern.. Lieu my dear, FUNNY POSTS THIS TIME!! and all of the <nudge nudge, wink wink> stuff that I usually see here. Kudos to you. And remember, keep the gay dentist at arm's length. He might want to scratch yer chestnuts. Darryl Marchetta still is king. Happy Festivus, Yer ol' Pal Gern.

(Submitted by Mrs Campbell )

Phew! *wiping sweaty ash-streaked brow* Just been out fighting bushfires. Tell you what, nobody ever told me fanning my voluminous underthingies at firestorms could be such hard work! I think I'm going to have to invest in a merkin or 20. I suspect those Tim Tams I put aside back in the winter of '57 might start to cause a few embarrassing situations.

(Submitted by dana )

I ran across this sight by chance and I was so curious I just had to take a look. My only complaint is that your sales tax is lower than ours...

(Submitted by reydekker )

Nebraska Woman Returns Sister's Ashes to Wal-Mart December 28, 2001 01:27 PM ET Email this article Printer friendly version OMAHA, Nebraska (Reuters) - A Nebraska woman who received an ornate box for Christmas and returned it to Wal-Mart without looking inside discovered later it contained the ashes of her recently deceased sister, a newspaper reported on Friday. Judy Money received the box as a gift from her brother who lives in Iowa. But after unwrapping the package on Christmas Eve she saw the box had a broken knob and decided to return it to Wal-Mart without ever looking at the contents inside, the Omaha World-Herald reported. When Money later confessed to her brother that she had returned his gift, he told her the box contained the ashes of their sister, who had died Dec. 11, the Herald said. Marvin Tippery, Money's brother, told the Herald he was shocked when he found out she had returned the box. "No, no, you didn't! Your sister was in there," the Herald quoted him as telling Money. Money told the Herald she made a mad dash back to Wal- Mart, but the box had already been thrown out with the trash. Money and her brother finally found the box on Thursday amid trash piles at an area landfill. "My prayers have been answered," she told the Herald. "Just the thought of having her in the dump was awful."

(Submitted by Terje )

Have you got an award from Wal*Mart for the pages? -I think you should! Keep up the good work! (Recipes from 1996! -Imagine that!)

(Submitted by Chiq )

Are there recipes on this site?? I've never seen a recipe here. Do any of the recipes feature the nanner?

(Submitted by Huh? )

<<busy with my KitchenAid>> Oh Chiq, try Derek's fabulous nanners-n-fudge sauce! It's a univeral recipe, everyone knows how to make it!!

(Submitted by Partying Huh? )

<<tooting party horns>> ** HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!! ** Waving USA Flag **

(Submitted by Kiss @ Midnight Chiquita )

*blowing on ROASTED ALMDs* Wow, that has an even better effect than tooting Huh?'s party horns. Happiliest of New Years to y'all!

(Submitted by Uh Huh? )

Yikes, that tickled...

(Submitted by sugargirl )

i dont get this web site

(Submitted by Ed )

Our sales tax is lower and our checkout girls are cuter

(Submitted by Dally )

Gee, I wished I'd gotten an oil filter from Santa, but all I got was this "Oh, Aaron" CD, 10 extra pounds and a few used nuts.

(Submitted by Deadman )

HEY MAN GO TO WALMART ON MY B- DAY ITS ONLY THE MOST POPULAR DAY AROUND (JuNe 17)

(Submitted by Dalliance )

I have made resolutions. They are firm. I, Dalliance, hereby refuse to waste any more than my alotted 19 hours a week on those wretched, sweaty, nut-laden fantasies wherein Derek and I engage in mad monkey congress on the desk in Matt's office.

(Submitted by Home dog )

If I were on "I am" I would say "horrified" and "only nineteen hours?"

(Submitted by Cakes )

well, I find that if you slice the top off of the HUMAN SKULL it makes a novel dip dish.

(Submitted by Habib )

Great idea Cakes...I'd love one of those, have you got any spares lying around? I'd LOVE to get a little head from you...

(Submitted by Dal )

You dip novels over there? Now, that's just something I would never think to do, but now that you mention it...I bet the sour cream and chives never dribbles when it's perched atop on a hearty Dickens or Bronte. You clever Brits!

(Submitted by Huh? )

<<clever or cleaver?>> I don't know what kinda party Cakes had over the New Year, but I'm glad I wasn't invited! I can only imagine the "spread" at her table for the "taco" dip... "party nuts".... "oysters"....

(Submitted by lieu )

nanners-n-fudge? aaaggghhh!!! that's just what the gay dentist requested!

(Submitted by lieu )

hey habib, have you seen "the princess mammaries"? who let the twins out? bark! bark! bark bark!

(Submitted by CourtneyLucifer )

No one gets presents this year!! Just body warmers and oil.

(Submitted by Dal )

yayyyy....lieu's in the house!! Cakes and I were just missing you on the "I am" site. I'm glad you are here. Question: do you happen to know how long one has to wait on hold before one can legally strangle a Pep Boy? I mean, Lord have mercy, how long does it take to fix a freakin' axle?? If I have to listen to one more Richard Marx song I'm gonna blow.

(Submitted by bessie )

Please fill me in: What is the "i am" site? I feel as though I am missing out!

(Submitted by Tumbleweed )

Bessie, if you go to the Wal*Mart Receipt Homepage and look around you will see links to some of Derek's other creative sites - no, he's not just a pretty face. The "I am" site is another one of his strokes. You might also want to check out the BBS (Bulletin Board for the Wal*Mart site) and Derek's personal homepage where you can learn all kind of fascinating Derek facts.

(Submitted by bessie )

thanks Tumbleweed!

(Submitted by Huh? )

Isn't Richard Marx the one who sang "Hold on to the night...hold on to the mammaries?" OH MY, I JUST VISITED RICHARDMARX.COM, I think I'm gonna puke now....

(Submitted by Huh? )

Geez, 'weed! You're a regular tourguide! All I can say it: Tumbleweed and Derek, sittin' in a tree. K--I--S--S--I--N-- G!

(Submitted by Cheerleader Huh? )

*\o/*

(Submitted by Chiqca )

*still chuckling* "hold on to the mammaries..." Good 'un Huh?. Just make sure you keep BODY WARMERS on those mammaries or they'll... well, let's just say it's not a pretty sight.

(Submitted by Billie Jo Hunter )

Twister anyone???

(Submitted by Mammary Challenged )

*looking down and singing* I wish that I could give you more...

(Submitted by Willie Fisterbottom )

Did someone say Twister??? Me first!!! *spin* awww, damn. Right hand brown.

(Submitted by Dally Cat Looking Back )

Okay, Huh?, now you've done it!...*standing in front of bathroom mirror, bathed in its make-up mirror light, clutching my hairbrush microphone earnestly* "MAMM- ARIES...ALL ALONE IN THE MOONLIGHT...I REMEMBER THE OLD DAYS...LIFE *sotto voce here* was beaut-i-ful then..boohoohoo.

(Submitted by Pete )

What in the flying hell are BODY WARMERS anyway?

(Submitted by Huh? )

** dabbing tears from my eyes ** Oh Dally, that song always moves me ... and now I gotta go poop.

(Submitted by Streisand Huh? )

** grabbing microphone/hairbrush ** Mammmmmmariesss...like the corners of my mind... misty water-colored MAMMARIES, of the way we were.... <<sigh>> That one always gets to me...

(Submitted by Witches Tit Huh? )

** bowing to the applause ** And finally, Chicqa, if you leave off the BODY WARMERS, it makes everything a bit "perker", just like old times shall we say?

(Submitted by Dally )

Huh?, I'm touched.

(Submitted by lieu )

now billy, you be a good boy at school and remember to always say "no maam" and "yes mammaries".

(Submitted by lieu )

wow dal, at first i thought you said "straddle a pep boy" above. i imagine that'd straighten his axle problem out.

(Submitted by lieu )

what IS the difference between poop and poot? huh? says she's gotta go poop butt had she said she's gotta take a poot wouldn't we get the same impression. or do you cut a poot? these things confuse me. has anyone seen my medicine? oh poo!

(Submitted by Huh? )

**rolling with giggles** lieu, are you suffering from itchy eye? Have you been eating too much pecker cheese at Cake's party table? Again?

(Submitted by Chris )

Ummm.. I just wanted to say "ALMD", too, 'casue it looked like everyone else was having so much fun saying it.

(Submitted by j the great )

What the hell is a body warmer?

(Submitted by sally )

me and my sister always go shopping for the body warmers at wal-mart.

(Submitted by Aldo )

What's Wal*Mart? I'm from Scotland.

(Submitted by Dave )

They sell body warmers at Wal- Mart?! Can I just trade my 40 year old body warmer for two 20 year old body warmers?

(Submitted by Andre Lennox )

Here comes the rain again, falling on my head like a mammary, falling on my head like a new emotion. Better later than never, I always say (my Debbie the Minxy Slut Doll agrees with me, don't you Debbie? Just nod three times and squeeze, that's it.)

(Submitted by out of touch )

Hmmm, I would expect a little more items on the receipt as there is only 2 more shopping days left till Christmas.