Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by K-Funk)

You decrepit piece of dog bile. Model paint and a lizard? Your child shall be none too happy. Get him some explosives, all kids love those.

(Submitted by Katheryn)

Interesting.

(Submitted by sarah)

This is my first time to the site but I have to ask - where do you get the money to go to Wally World every week??

(Submitted by bob)

You weirdo.

(Submitted by someone)

THIS IS SOOO STUPID!!!!

(Submitted by Melissa)

In response to Sarah's comment up there, I'd like to add a huge "You're an idiot!" Since when do you have to be rich to visit Walmart every week?

(Submitted by Brian)

A lizard just doesn't feel like a lizard without some boss racing stripes.

(Submitted by Jadestar)

Ummmmm... I don't GET it...

(Submitted by Joe)

Wal*Mart - I'd rather eat mule shit with Heinz Tomato Ketchup than shop at this low-class hellhole.

(Submitted by Worst of the Web)

Does purchasing a lizard and model paint at the same time sound suspicious to anyone else?

(Submitted by Cool Site List)

COOLEST SITE ON WEB: geoboz.hypermart.net

(Submitted by Chester McFisticuffs)

Is it smart to be posting your credit card number to the entire universe?

(Submitted by Capt. Stupendous)

What did you paint? The Lizard?

(Submitted by Evil Toast strikes again!)

I just had to get out what was on everyone's mind: Why in the world would anyone need a lizard and some paint at about 9 o'clock at night? Now I've heard of gerbils being used to pleasure certain people ... but a lizard? And I would imagine you would need some sort of lubricant. Not paint! That's just spells out a disaster.

(Submitted by fire462)

Walmart owes you big time

(Submitted by Devo)

You have been ripped off...Lizards are $5.95 at Kmart

(Submitted by Paul)

To Chester McFisticuffs ( listed above) He paid Cash stupid.... And all the receipts with C.C. info only show the last digits of the Account, check it out before saying something else dumb!

(Submitted by Yat)

Wow, lizards are awfully cheap these days. Wonder how they'd taste in gumbo. Let me know, chief.

(Submitted by MATT KRIEG'S #1 FAN)

I FUCKING HATE DARRYL MARCHETTA LIKE HE HATES HIS CUSTOMERS. DARRYL MARCHETTA, YOU FUCKING BITCH. I HATE YOU. DARRYL MARCHETTA SPIT IN MY FACE WHEN I TRIED TO RETURN MERCHANDISE WITH A RECIEPT. I HOPE YOU DIE UNDER THE WEIGHT OF YOUR OWN SHITTY CUSTOMER SERVICE AND ROT IN HELL, YOU SICK BASTARD. MATT KRIEG, SAVE US FROM THIS MONSTER.

(Submitted by Cherdy)

We can never get enough reptiles, now can we?

(Submitted by dyverge)

Who are Darryl Marchetta and Matt Krieg? #1 FAN seems pretty worked up about something...

(Submitted by Zoctan)

A good, wholesome latenite snack

(Submitted by Frmky)

dyverge: Read them all from the beginning if you want to know the story of Ryan, Darryl, and Matt!

(Submitted by miranda the panda)

Derek i just want to say a biiigggg thankyou for the new gucci outfit & the ferrari that went with it, all thanks to u & your credit card. I just wanted to make the point that someone as sad as u doesn't deserve a credit card, & it certainly shouldn't be used in a dive like Walmart!! I promise to keep all the receipts from my puchases on your credit card & post my own web site in your honour. Thanks for the pressies.

(Submitted by RYAN HOAGE'S #1 FAN)

RYAN COULD BEAT DARRYL AND MATT ANY DAY. HE ENCOURAGED THE MOST EFFICIENT SERVICE. JUST LOOK AT THE FIGURES: 429.42 ITEMS PER HOUR, 21.92 RINGS PER HOUR, AND SCANNING PERCENT AT 100! MATT KRIEG AND DARRYL MARCHETTA JUST DON'T COMPARE! RYAN HOAGE, SAVE US FROM THESE MONSTERS.

(Submitted by SHANNON COCK'S #1 FAN (aka Max))

I THINK WE ALL KNOW THAT IT IS SHANNON COCK AND NOT RYAN HOAGE THAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THOSE STATISTICS

(Submitted by Cheri)

Congrats on finally paying cash! What happened to the other reptile? Unless you bought a lot of food in case there was a great sale on lizards 2 years later.

(Submitted by Randy)

"Hey Derek!!!! c'mon over to Tommy's house, we're having Lizard Races!!! WHAT???? you don't HAVE a lizard? bummer dude... WAIT!!!! I know where you can get one!!!! And grab something to paint your number on it...

(Submitted by beez)

Does this guy kill (and replace) every living thing he buys here?

(Submitted by ugh)

Save money on paint, buy a chameleon next time.

(Submitted by Lindsey)

I feel oddly flattered because you went shopping for model paint and a lizard on my birthday. Right.

(Submitted by unplug dis)

The paint is for an arrow to extend across his body that will direct doctors to the dank orifice someone hides a horny toad purchased on a cold, December evening from a WalMart in. Man, you too are cold blooded. You make Dick Gere look normal.

(Submitted by Aunt Beru's lame chicken)

The lizard's to satisfy his girlfriend who's been suffering toxic sponge tape syndrome for about the past couple of months now. The paint's to hide the scars.

(Submitted by Hepcat)

He's still paying with cash. This definitely holds up my theory about the mugging -- it takes forever to get your credit cards and cheques re- issued. Derek, man, I'm here for you.

(Submitted by Julie)

HERE LIZARD LIZARD

(Submitted by macboysf)

Derek you'll get your visa back soon... I called the psychic friends network and talked to Dion myself. Oh and everyone try not to yell so much at Darryl, First they misspell his name... then everyone has a #1 FAN but poor Darryl. He needs friends too you know!

(Submitted by Andre)

It's no wonder he has no friends considering he's just raised the tax on purchases in his store. The scoundrel!

(Submitted by cmp )

Lizards are indiginous to Minnesota, right?

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

DARRYL IS BACK! COOL

(Submitted by DARRYL MARCHETTA'S #1 FAN )

YOU ALL SUCK! DARRYLL MARCHETTA ROCKS! HE'S BETTER THEN HOAGE,KRIEG,OR SHANNON COCK!

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL'S #1 FAN )

I SHOULD OF TOLD YOU EARLIER, FASHIONGIRL. ME AND YOU ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER. COOL!

(Submitted by crackpot )

this 3rd day in december was a very significant day for derek. it's the day he forgot my birthday. who was the lizard & paint for? well it wasn't Me. He knew I wanted a lizard, you bastard. how can I go on? sufice it to say - I LOVE WAL- MART & this is the bes site ever!!!!!!! Derek you rock.

(Submitted by Usagi )

Nothing says "Seasons Greetings and Happy Holidays" like a freshly painted lizard. Ah, brings back warm memories of my childhood.

(Submitted by Carolina )

You do know that you can get a lizard for free from your backyard.

(Submitted by seen it all )

YOU idiots don't get it !! a credit card number is 12 digits long...they only show the last 4 for security reasons. He is NOT showing his full account number for his credit card, bone heads !!

(Submitted by gern blandston )

Attention Matt Kreig fans: DO NOT FUCKIN' AWAKE THE SLEEPING GIANT THAT IS DARRYL MARCHETTA.