Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Dally )

Dancing with myself..oh oh...dancing with myself...wait! what's this CHEESE NIPS!!! Hot Dayum! and ROOT BEER..oh happy day! *continuing first poster dance*

(Submitted by susie )

Yeah Dally, get into the groove... *passing cheese nips to Melon*

(Submitted by Dally (hogging the top spots) )

moving into a new groove, Emperor style, baybee, oh yeah, I am set...got my NIPS, my 20P1, ROOT BEER and my DEODERANT (wotever the hell that is) This is almost as good as BINGO.

(Submitted by Getting Down On It )

Yo! susie! have a swig of this ROOT BEER! It's the good stuff ($.95), ma cheri. And here, have a few of these P1s..we've got 20 of em, so spread the love. DISNEY ROCKS! Gabba Gabba Hey!

(Submitted by latinteacher )

Deodero, deoderas, deodorat, Dally, sit down and pay attention. Third person plural subjunctive of the verb to smell (passive voice)? I'm waiting......

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

Wow! I'm NIPpin' out with a new receipt.Amo Amas Amat it! We sell manager for less Matt Krieg -- and who wouldn't?

(Submitted by Dally (breathing a sigh of relief) )

aw...well hell, I wuz wrong cuz I was thinking it was referencing Deo -the feminine nominative singular indeclinsion form- (nickname of Demeter -the horse mother-) coupled with a blatent mispelling of dêterent which is, of course, the 3rd person plural future indicative (active voice)of "detero" meaning "to rub away". I was really confused cause I couldn't imagine why Derek would buy a product to rub out Demeter, it's just SO unlike him. Silly me!

(Submitted by Dal - mind if I borrow that body wash - rub a dub dub) )

oh yeah and I figured the X thing, was like, X marks the spot. Rub here. *laughing and striking my forehead*

(Submitted by PonyGirl )

Run Mom Run!!!!!

(Submitted by Alfred Hitchcock )

Run, Tippi, run!!!

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

When's it gonna stop D J J J J

(Submitted by Beavis )

CHEESE NIPS...hehe..hehe..hehe..

(Submitted by susie )

Cheese bites

(Submitted by Mike )

Derek, I hate your website. My wife spends alot of time here and I think you are gay.

(Submitted by no wonder )

sounds like somebody needs a nip...

(Submitted by josey )

you know mike's just jealous because his wife secretly has a wal-mart receipt fetish, and derek's the only one that can deliver for her...and on a side note, i can't wait til i'm 21, so i can go into a bar and say: ONE ROOT BEER, PLEASE. AND HOLD THE ROOT.

(Submitted by susie )

Cheese is the root of all evil........

(Submitted by Coach )

ahhhhhh, josey...I like the way you think...how 'bout some BODY WASH for those CHEESE NIPS?

(Submitted by josey )

see when you eat cheese nips, you get cheese all over yer fingers and have to be get somebody to hose you down...

(Submitted by Potesy )

why do you need 20 private investigators?

(Submitted by :- )

If Matt K would watch this site he'd know that trying to sell movies on the receipts wouldn't work...

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

Mike? The same Mike I had in the locker room at high school? I heard you had a wife. I was shocked.

(Submitted by josey )

well, i don't know about that there gay monster...i remember derek posting some receipts that said to buy cheese nips and derek bought some (course he was like years later)

(Submitted by josey )

oops sorry it's getting late and in my stupid stupor i thought the comment written above was written by big gay monster MUST...GO...TO...SLEEP... (and it's only 10:10pm!)

(Submitted by josey )

so the first thing i wrote is directed to the guy that posted right before big gay monster...what is a big gay monster any hey

(Submitted by Goat )

Fagzilla?

(Submitted by Sheep )

Fudgepackerstein?

(Submitted by Goose )

Fagula?

(Submitted by Maverick )

Homothra?

(Submitted by Bruce )

Dr. Jerkoff and Mr. Hide-the- sausage?

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

U PUT CHEESE ARE YOUR NIPPLES, THEM THERE BOY?

(Submitted by Andre )

My Dally, I am rather impressed with your cheese nips, makes me want to 20P1. Or perhaps makes me want to root beer. Larf larf larf chortle chortle chortle. Hmm, do you think *winking foxily* this spandex suits me? I'm not sure that brilliant gipsy fire goes with my complexion, particularly when dulled with this smoky coffee table glass....

(Submitted by Andre )

...hmm, so will he buy it? That 102 Dalmatians foray was such a disappointment, pleeeeeeease Derek, don't send me back into therapy, that funny man with the big black glasses had such rough cold hairy hands and a wicked way of laughing as he slipped on the rubber gloves smeared with jelly...

(Submitted by Kelly )

*Getting out NYCFASHIONGIRL decoder kit...working on last post* I will have the results back as soon as possible.

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog, but not a rabbi. )

kelly, i just don't think it's possible. It can't mean anything. Andre, are you gonna be okay, man? After all you went through you thought the guy was "funny". You must have a weird sense of humor. OH! weird funny. Josey, as a kid i always thought that the reason you were supposed to be scared of the Boogey Man was because he was a big gay monster, so maybe it's a reference to him.

(Submitted by highly miniturized jewish dog )

I haven't seen HDJ Jewboy or whatever his name is around here recently. I thought i could discuss theology with him, but i guess not, and that is just as well anyway. ooookay,

(Submitted by qwerty asdf )

What size cheese nips do you have, dalliance? i didn't mean it.

(Submitted by rabid rabbit with bloody teeth )

first poster dance. yeah, yeah. first poster dance. (If you argue i will bite you and cause you to die...)

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

Actually, I've always thought of myself as Queen Kong.

(Submitted by yum yum )

White Cheddar CHEESE NIPS... I just love 'em

(Submitted by lieu's tennant governor )

CHEESE NIPS? is that some kind of japanese frommage or an appetizer to accompany edible panties? does summer's eve make a cheese flavored... ohhh... never mind.

(Submitted by ham )

wot kind of cheese wood it be? gouda? smoked? head?

(Submitted by beggar & better )

if i had some cheese then i could have cheese & eggs... if only i had some eggs.

(Submitted by Edgar Gutrumble )

I was playing golf with my Preparation H holesaler the other day and unfortunately we'd drank a few too many Heinikens. I got the hiccups and then threw-up all over the front of my shirt. The Cheese Nips scraped off easily enough but the stench of old heinie was attrocious. Now Eunice, wonderful lady that she is, becomes a nine-headed hydra bitch from hell if she ever catches me samplin' the sauce. So my holesaler tells me to take a ten out of my wallet, put in in my shirt pocket, and to tell Eunice he threw up on me and the ten is to cover the laundry costs. What a brilliant ass fixiator, eh? So I took a $20 bill out and stuffed it in my putrid shirt pocket. Alarmed, he said that just a ten would do but as I explained to him... I planned to tell Eunice he was the one that crapped in my pants too.

(Submitted by Asswipe! )

""I am" *always* way serious, as is this site. You will never see me making a joke or trying to be funny, no sir. But(t), as we all know i am an exceptional person..."

(Submitted by Cakes )

Edgar - that is such a coincidence, I also turn into a nine-headed hydra when Mr Cakes comes home a little worse for wear, must be a girl thing....mind you, it's hell on the hair-do...

(Submitted by Cakes )

Edgar - that is such a coincidence, I also turn into a nine-headed hydra when Mr Cakes comes home a little worse for wear, must be a girl thing....mind you, it's hell on the hair-do...

(Submitted by Mr. Cakes )

Dammit woman, stop repeating yourself!! We heard you the first time!

(Submitted by jimmy joe bob )

women! one post never seems to satisfy them plus they'll even try and get the last word in on themselves.

(Submitted by marine hole sailor )

you know wot i say... if you can't join 'em, lick 'em.

(Submitted by :- )

Perchance Cakes doesn't turn into a nine-headed Hydra but a Nine-squared headed Hydra...

(Submitted by Hymen Groove )

Walt Disney can shove it.

(Submitted by Walt Disney )

"ABC, I am your father... kkkhhrrrrrr"

(Submitted by deoderant x )

i'm calling on all the armpits of the world to come together as one, united in our distrust of those that smell different than us, to keep sweat at arms length and disgusting whitey buildup at a minimum.

(Submitted by nation of is lame )

i say to you that deoderant x is a false icon, a tool of the "established scent" that must be boycotted. i call on you to boycott x's deode rants everywhere that you wish to take a stand by yourselves.

(Submitted by rocky x )

adriane! where the hell's my walker?

(Submitted by Kelly )

OK, I'm back with the message results from NYCFASHIONGIRL. I had to decode it 5 times, just to be sure that what it says is correct...I can hardly believe it. it says... "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!"

(Submitted by Sloe )

I'm confoozed.

(Submitted by josey )

i think it's great how derek never posts anything on here...he's so *mysterious* (course we think we know everything about him by what he buys)

(Submitted by josey )

hey did you hear that wal-mart is gonna start selling their own brand of wine??

(Submitted by joe weider )

c'mon girls, time for your flesh-colored veined cylindertine....

(Submitted by josey )

i always thought a great lyric to add to bob dylan's rainy day women song would be: THEY'LL STONE YOU WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO BEAT YOUR MEAT. i mean it'd make as much sense as the other shit he says...

(Submitted by earnest gallow )

hmmm, won't that be a snappy seller? my guess is that this walwine will be about as attractive as courtney lovehole since they both come in an easy to open box that quickly loses it's appeal upon rescrewing.

(Submitted by Sparky )

My wife has a new groove too...I noticed it the other day, while I was sprinkling flour on her...looking for the wet spot. MORE WINE!!!

(Submitted by Yabighelen )

This is the most frightening site I have ever seen...This is the decline of Western Civilization at it's finest. When we find ourselves so bored, so run over by technology, so handed everything in our lives, this is what we are reduced to, what about Lowes, what about 7-11, what about Gas reciepts, why not MC VISA monthly bills, lets see who can blow who out of the water on those...who's living off those month to month, what about chashing cash from atm to account, check to cash to account, etc...the paper chase...can't we get a litte more creative?

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog )

he does all of that too, didn't you look at the main page of his site?

(Submitted by IWDLOA )

I knew i was a quotable person!

(Submitted by Dalliance )

lieuy, are you still cross with me? Dang, Kel, that was brilliant! By the way, isn't that the best movie? And say, tiny - I responded to you on the last receipt back yonder *making back yonder head jerk motion*...uhhhhh...Yabighelen, can I recommend a therapist for you? I know a few good 'uns. And Andre, O, Andre, you hot gyspy torch of love, that spandex just makes me want to squirt windex all over my pert nips and give you a good body polishing.

(Submitted by lieu )

i don't know if'n i'm proud of this or not butt i really do have every lowe's receipt i've ever received dating back some four and a half years and there are more than a few. me thinks i'm addicted to that place, wot wif all the power tools, raw lumber, plants, etc. hell, i even just bought a fridge from dere. problem is, they don't have printing that's nearly as clear as the mart's and their abbreviations aren't nearly as entertaining. in short, a site so dedicated might die a very slow death. they do, however, sell some really neat crap. i think home depot blows butt i'm thinking of leaving an endowed chair to lowes (one leg longer than the others.) chiq, can i borrow your nanner scanner to copy my paper trail? many tanks in advance.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

CHEESE NIPS is what you get after eating Cheetos & then playing with your nipples. A delictable treat for all... almost as good as cheese nanners.

(Submitted by lieu )

want some cheese cloth fer those nips, dal? cross wif you? know way. you're aware, i'm sure, that i decidedly like things un- crossed between us. yeehar! come on, friday!

(Submitted by btw )

the depths of that hole nycfashion girl thing was beyong my limited power to synapse-size. splain please and include to which movie you're referring (i love that word "refer"ring.)

(Submitted by NotAndre )

Some root for lemonade, some root for orangeade, I root for beer.

(Submitted by in lieu of seuss )

beer is the root cause of my understanding. remember in malcolm lowery's under the volcano when the counsel talked about the clarity of drunkeness? loud & clear, buddy, loud & clear.

(Submitted by dave bergeron )

you should just hang yourself, you fuckin loser my phone number is (207) 229- 6582 call so i can tell you on the phone

(Submitted by walfixture )

now that would be a waste of our time.

(Submitted by Terry )

Looks like another AT&T employee with a low sales report, eh? Jeez, like we can't read...I'd almost give him credit for having balls to put his number out there, but I'm sure it's a time/temp service or sumfin'...or maybe he's just a lonely SmallGayMonster, and needs a friend...

(Submitted by Terry Pt. II )

BTW, Cakes, as much as I love the idea of a nine mouthe...er, headed anything, would those be muted heads, or would we have to take the bitching along with the head (s)??? Good'n Edgar...

(Submitted by Dally )

Holy Cow, lieu, you like Malcolm Lowery?? You're so cool. Bless his heart, I was just yesterday reading an essay on Lowery by William Gass. Course, you know old Malc died by choking on his own vomit. Beautiful, sad genius. Oh, the movie Kelly was quoting from is "A Christmas Story"..you know the one where the narrator is an adult looking back on Christmas as a kid...hysterical! And Chiqs, you do that CHEETOS thing TOO!!! And I thought I was the only one!

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog )

If there was ever a good way to go, it would be from choking on your own vomit.

(Submitted by WTF OwNz j00 )

cheese nips suck. get ritz crackers. root beer sucks. get pepsi or real beer. WTF is 2OP1? and the other crap.. why bother with fucking hygiene if you just go to fucking wal- mart

(Submitted by Juan Kerr )

Great site Dell!! I shop everyday in Asda, here in the UK, which is owned by Walmart. I've just bought a box of mansized tissues, and a Cindy Crawford exercise video, got to keep fit. I think I am to start a website of all my Asda receipts. What da you think peeps? Keep up the good work Dell.

(Submitted by Juan Kerr )

Great site Dell!! I shop everyday in Asda, here in the UK, which is owned by Walmart. I've just bought a box of mansized tissues, and a Cindy Crawford exercise video, got to keep fit. I think I am to start a website of all my Asda receipts. What da you think peeps? Keep up the good work Dell.

(Submitted by Juan Kerr )

Great site Dell!! I shop everyday in Asda, here in the UK, which is owned by Walmart. I've just bought a box of mansized tissues, and a Cindy Crawford exercise video, got to keep fit. I think I am to start a website of all my Asda receipts. What da you think peeps? Keep up the good work Dell.

(Submitted by Mrs Campbell )

My Tim Tams are all a-wobbling. Did I hear someone say they'd love to post Lowes receipts? My goodness, I have a saga told in Lowe's receipts somewhere buried in my drawers. Gaberdine flat-fronted mission-brown slacks, hot pink ruffled nylon boob tubes, padded y-fronts with the easy access opening; it's all there, I declare, and I won't hide it any longer! Hah, what do the kraken and Dido have on the stories that can be told from my Lowe's receipts!

(Submitted by Mrs Campbell )

...oh, I see, it's one of those American things, so you won't understand the full implications of "Lowes" for those of us of an antipodean extraction. I pity you, I pity you all, I pity you in your barren state of ignorance.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

No, no, no WTF OwNz j00, it's not "cheese nips suck," but rather you should "suck cheese nips."

(Submitted by Edgar Gutrumble )

So Dalliance, as I long expected Malcolm Lowery and Jimi Hendrix really DO have something in common. Boy, that was a pretty exclusive club I almost joined yesterday when I went vomitose. Hear that, Eunice? Next time I get up- chucky you better kiss that ass!

(Submitted by qwerty asdf )

I am dissapointed that this reciept page was abandoned two days after it's creation, never to see another living soul again. I won't stand for it. I won't let this poor reciept live it's life alone. I'll come and visit you everyday, receipt, i swear!

(Submitted by qwerty asdf )

ten days later and no more comments. Truly, receipt, you have been abondoned. I will bring a gift for you tomorrow!

(Submitted by Lindsey )

a 20pi is a bottle of water, morons! isn't it derek??

(Submitted by princesssusie )

I am now a princess and I will slug anyone with my bottle of tequila if they argue with me , I wear the coronet

(Submitted by Gern Blandston )

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. But alas, the princess had a drinking problem. One day, the princess left her beautiful tower and went to Ye Olde Liquor Store and bought a fifth of mescal. Drinking it quickly, she then ventured to the Ye Olde T.G.I. Fridays where she drank more. Finally, she got really loaded and wound up with 7 really short guys who buggered her like you've never seen. The End.