Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

OH my god first! You're paying for BOX Derek? Isn't that illegal?

(Submitted by mark )

I am the FIRST!! Well second - oh well. Yea.. toliet paper and facial tissue. I guess that is to like the box when you pack the dishes? P.S. Cash your rebates at Wal*Mart? Nice - why not charge them high interest on a credit layaway plan too - oh wait you DO.

(Submitted by Huh )

Yippee, I'm 3rd! A box and paper products to wipe up afterward, it doesn't get any better than that!

(Submitted by Ill Nino )

I am doing my patent pending, good natured fourth place mope.

(Submitted by limited edition sporks )

*lol* Fnuk, I was not saying my name was cleo, I was declaring her as an incarnation of evil. Onholy is a word meaning "exceedingly unholy". I started using that word about the same time Abi started using the word "fervant"(last receipt).

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Hold on everybody. This K8B6 valiation is even better than the FHZ5. *tickle subsiding, tingling sensation DEVELOPING slowly...* Could someone hand me a green nanner please?

(Submitted by Chiqca )

See, it's so intense I can't even type correctly. Not valiation, but validation!

(Submitted by Habib )

Hey Chiq...wanna cash your tax rebate check right HERE? I'll make a special deposit in your BOX...

(Submitted by Terry )

Habib, you're a pervert...not that there's anything WRONG with that, but Chiq would NEVER SPARKLE 8ROL with the likes of you...now go grab your FACIAL TISSUE and be a good boy...

(Submitted by Justin Timberlake )

Wot's a BOX look like?

(Submitted by Hardy Throb )

Hardy is my boy. I am in lust.

(Submitted by Chiq )

I am in total agreement Hardy Throb... Hardy can climb in the ENVELOPE with me & my BOX to do the SPARKLE 8ROL any day! And Habib & Terry, you guys can join us. The more the merrier!! But Ter, try not to leave your hairy ass hanging out of the ENVELOPE flap, m'kay? Hey, could you show Hardy how to do the flying nun??

(Submitted by Chiq one last time for today )

I've looked all through the toaster box for lieu, butt can't find him anywhere. Anybody know where he's run off to?

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

I WANT SOME SPARKLE GLITTER TOO!

(Submitted by Jennifer )

Hey guys, long time no see! I've been stuck in this BOX, and couldn't get up! Actually, this one really inspires me. "When you wake up in the morning, and the BOX has hit your head, the AUTO DISH TA do, when you get up outta bed, is SPARKLE 8ROL runnin', and try to beat the masses, go get yourself some FACIAL TISSU."

(Submitted by ~*Kittie Moon*~ )

nyfashion girl you are such a fucking idiot..that's sparkle 8 roll papertowels..(used to work at walmart)

(Submitted by I thought it was applesauce )

Back the fuck off, we know what it is. They allow kids your age to work at walmart?

(Submitted by Salut! )

"used to work at walmart" So what is that, like a 8-pac of choreboys? Forced to be checkers, long hours, low pay?

(Submitted by rE d Ru m )

didn't someone say AUTO DISH TA to me at 7Eleven the other day?

(Submitted by BalmainBotty )

I'm waiting for the day when the waiter at my favourite Michelin-3 star will ask me "you want fries with that?"

(Submitted by Andre )

All I can say is, I am struck dumb by this receipt.

(Submitted by Noddy )

thats nice for you!

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

I am still sitting here, basking in the glory of being first out of the BOX, and naturally assuming that it makes me part of some sort of master race.

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

although I'd much rather be a slave.

(Submitted by arrgh )

me too germaniac

(Submitted by Bloke from Balmain )

Yes, Germy, only those of us that have summered on the Obersalzburg, listening to their Niebelung while trying to tune out that dreadful Rheinland accent of dear Dr Josef, would understand.

(Submitted by Abi )

*springing out of the box* Boo!! (p.s. sorry about the spelling mistake, and then pointing out someone else's, it was a bad week).

(Submitted by Tickler )

i'll be you're slave, but only if i can wear leather and chains

(Submitted by jellybelly )

This one looks to be in near- mint condition. Save this one. This one is going to be worth a lot of money one day.

(Submitted by ANNNNNNNNDDDD.... )

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

(Submitted by ZZ Top )

Jennifer, that's MUCH better than our version. Can we see your beard?

(Submitted by in lieu of a big spread )

i'd just like a little BOX lunch (butt tastefully arranged) if you please.

(Submitted by Wal*Deli Lady )

Attention munchers... Our Box lunches are 2 for .69.

(Submitted by Snatch Adams )

I'm there dude.

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

what comes in a box lunch?

(Submitted by Huh? )

......a little "snatch"?

(Submitted by Huh? )

..camel toes?

(Submitted by lieu )

finger foods that hit "the spot", of course.

(Submitted by lieu )

finger foods that hit "the spot", of course.

(Submitted by lieu )

finger foods that hit "the spot", of course.

(Submitted by rocky )

dammit, janet!

(Submitted by Sack lunches for one, please. )

Ummm... what is a scrotum, Alex?

(Submitted by Elvis )

VISA you TENDer, to VISA you're true, VISA is gonna screw you...

(Submitted by the microphone is our friend, speak into the microphone... )

ummm germey, that wood be two turntables & a microphone.

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

Wow lieu! you can say that again!

(Submitted by scrroedigger's kitty )

*meow*

(Submitted by silk igloo )

go crazy with the cheese whiz.

(Submitted by Colonel Sanders )

Wood you prefer our old-fashioned breasts or the extra-frisky variety?

(Submitted by nipple conditioner )

suave or pert?

(Submitted by Huh? )

YES*YES*YES !!! Lieu hit the spot three times!!!

(Submitted by g spot )

charming!

(Submitted by Timmy! )

I did that once when I had a nervous dick in my eye.

(Submitted by box )

i'm usually more fun to play with than the toy that came in me.

(Submitted by Timmy! )

Oh, yeah, now you not only use the name, but you do it in the signature way i did. THAT reeks of impersonation, where before it was obviously a joke. VERY unfunny. People still know who it is because of the "unique" email pattern, but still, it's too far, yet again. You know nothing of box, the only ones you see are the ones that your gay playtoys come in.

(Submitted by Abi )

a bit late, but congrats to germy for being first past the post! Hey Jennifer, how're you doin'? Long time no see girly!

(Submitted by first is a state of mind too )

Two words, Sifl and Olly. Well, maybe four.

(Submitted by 69 )

i remember back when i was 11...

(Submitted by richard head )

i'm sorry, i tried butt i just can't seem to think outside the box.

(Submitted by Master Bates )

Uh oh, the barcode... maybe I'd better slow down.

(Submitted by ku klux, klan & ollie )

hey, where'd the puppeteer go?

(Submitted by Liberace )

Ooooh, I just love your toilet paper!

(Submitted by Alex Trebek )

**smiling broadly at self in mirror** Welcome to Wal-Mart Jeopardy, where the men are men and the women are too! Today's final Jeopardy question: Who is Timmy and how will we know the REAL Timmy? You must be specific. **preening for camera**

(Submitted by Anne Robinson )

Alex, I believe a better category would be Boxers or Briefs?

(Submitted by Real and godlike )

Ain't he that retarted kid in the chair?

(Submitted by BalmainBot )

Timmy is the guy who winds the handle that makes the auto-cue scroll down. He was hired 'cause of his experience as the organ grinder on the corner of 23rd and Main for the last seven years. He is married, has 2.3 kids and really wants a vacation in Hawaii.

(Submitted by giglepuss )

what are TC #s?

(Submitted by The Reverend )

I see you can cash your tax rebate checks here too, but i'm puzzled *puzzled look*, i always thought that check was the same as cheque - a method of making a payment. But in a film last night, a couple at a restuarant asked for the check at the end of there meal. Isn't that the bill - surely they weren't being paid to eat there?

(Submitted by Christie, say hi )

Hey, it's a tedious job, but somebody's got to do it. Between that and pissing in the the fishtanks at fancy restaurants I make really good money.

(Submitted by all state )

urine good hands, christie.

(Submitted by butthead )

you said organ grinder. huh, huh huh.

(Submitted by lieu )

anybody know what sparkle 8 roll is? it beats the sh*t out of me...

(Submitted by Terry )

I don't know either, but wouldn't it make a GREAT name for a stripper?

(Submitted by lieu )

what, you'd like that better than ivana screwterryallnightlong?

(Submitted by Young Frauenstein )

"Roll, roll, roll in ze hay..."

(Submitted by Terry )

That's a good 'un too, 'cept it's probably too long for all of it to fit on the sign out front of the club. They'd probably only have room for Ivana Screwterry, and I believe the IRS already has that one locked up...

(Submitted by lieu )

ahhh, yes... the tax department of toys-r-us.

(Submitted by Black Bart )

Where's all da white BOXes at?

(Submitted by Taggert )

Lets have us a good 'ole smirk song. C'mon now, y'all sing... "Kansas City, Kansas City here I cum..."

(Submitted by Timmy! )

Alex Id like whats in my pants thats glad to see you for 100.

(Submitted by vanessa williams )

rick, quit playing with my black box.

(Submitted by Jeremy )

*tsk tsk* I'd never leave out the comma and the three apostrophes like that! Sloppy work, indeed. And the capitalized "i", now THAT was too far.

(Submitted by MATT KRIEG'S #1 FAN )

IT'S GOOD TO SEE MORE MATT KRIEG AND LESS DARRYL MARCHETTA. I DON'T THINK I NEED TO REMIND YOU ALL THE EVILS OF DARRYL AND HIS COMPLETE AND TOTAL LACK OF REGARD FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE. MATT KRIEG EATS, BREATHES, SLEEPS AND LIVES 100% TOTAL CUSTOMER SATISFACTION. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'M GOING TO SAY THAT MATT KRIEG DEFIES THE "LAWS" OF MATHMATICS AND PROVIDES 110% CUSTOMER SATISFACTION. I'D SAY MORE THAN 110%, BUT THEN I'D JUST BE GETTING SILLY.

(Submitted by MATT KRIEG'S #1 FAN #1 FAN )

IT'S GOOD TO SEE MORE MATT KRIEG'S #1 FAN. MATT KRIEG'S #1 FAN EATS, BREATHES, SLEEPS AND LIVES MATT KRIEG, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'M GOING TO SAY THAT MATT KRIEG'S #1 FAN DEFIES THE "LAWS" OF MATHEMATICS AND PROVIDES 110% FANDOM, I'D SAY MORE THAN 110%, BUT THEN I'D JUST BE GETTING SILLY.

(Submitted by Bonnie Piesse's lame chicken )

Derek has bought SPARKL 8ROL 3 times (all this year, the first time on January 13). Credit to WalMart that in all that time, they haven't upped the price - $5.37 each time. They really do have low prices always, always WalMart.

(Submitted by melon )

i have bought a monkey for christmas. i am lucky.

(Submitted by The Reverend )

Say a little prayer with me!

(Submitted by Ivana Screwterry )

Just bury me in a Y-shaped coffin, that boy doesn't know when to stop........

(Submitted by The Reverend )

Think that makes you a tart, so with me being a vicar ...

(Submitted by Terry )

Buried in a Y shaped coffin, eh? Hmmmm, well, I do love cracking open a cold one every now and then...

(Submitted by Necromancer )

Remind me not to take you up on the offer of a cold one then......

(Submitted by Necromancer )

Remind me not to take you up on the offer of a cold one then......

(Submitted by the grinch that stole christmas )

caaaaaa... tiger, i am your father. caaaaaaa...

(Submitted by Alex Trebek )

**peering wisely over glasses at adoring audience** Timmy, that is correct! **nodding in agreement**

(Submitted by timmy! )

i'd like to hand it to you, alex.

(Submitted by haHA! )

Alex Trebek can wet my whistle!!

(Submitted by Bob Barker )

Well I can't cut the mustard anymore, but I can damn sure lick the jar. C'mere Dian...

(Submitted by dian )

did they name you "bob" for a reason?

(Submitted by Dolly )

Got milk?

(Submitted by Timmy! )

Well, I can't cut the fart anymore but I can damn sure lick the... oooh, never mind.

(Submitted by Timmy! )

Got Felch?

(Submitted by chevy chase )

not exactly.

(Submitted by Thankfully, usually gay guys don't talk to me, this one exception is irritating me, though )

Dude, what the fuck is your problem?!? Maybe i'm repeatedly saying stupid shit about you... No, surely i would have noticed if i was... Hmm, i don't know. You're probably just one of those angry gay guys pissed at thier poor lot in life. What you should do is take the initiative and STOP BEING SUCH AN ASSHOLE. I know those are pretty large words for your intellect, but you're gonna run into those, so you might as well get used to it.

(Submitted by Average Person )

You're right, those are a lot of really big words. Some of 'em even have 4 whole syllables (I had to sound those out slowly). But the word I'm especially confused by is "thier." Webster, Bueller, anyone?

(Submitted by Webster )

Don't worry...one day, it's "gonna" get thier due, and THERE will be HELL to pay...(and I purposely transposed the "L's" in HELL, just to irritate it). Bet he didn't even notice. BTW, d'ya know the poorest person in KC??? The TOOTH FAIRY...

(Submitted by Dave )

What's with the 88 cent facial tissue? How many times a week can a guy blow his nose? Damn, your snot must be like a constant waterfall - aah, sick. I won't get into that. In fact, I'm surprised my mind was capable of conjuring up such a nasty desciption. I should be less sinfull, being the pope & all. Well, don't look so shocked. I'm allowed to amuse myself once in awhile.

(Submitted by Dave )

PS. So that I'm not reduced to years & years of purgatory, I am not the pope.

(Submitted by Dave )

PPS. I also do not know the pope, nor am I related to him in anyway.

(Submitted by Dave )

PPPS. I also thinking sinning is wrong - go God!

(Submitted by Dave )

PPPPS. While I'm at it, I might as well put in a good word for all of those angels up there in heaven. I'd like to remind them that I don't want to go to hell.

(Submitted by Dave )

PPPPPS. Why am I doing this anyway? I'm an atheist (j/k.)

(Submitted by Dave )

PPPPPPS. Okay, so I'm Muslim.

(Submitted by Dave )

I need to stop being so anal.

(Submitted by Cheech )

Dave? Dave's not all here.

(Submitted by Freud )

I think Dave needs many many years on the couch.

(Submitted by Service Desk Associate )

That little barcode looking thingy at the bottom of the receipt IS NOT A CREDIT CARD number. It is a transaction code so that Wal*Mart can keep track if high dollar returns. So people can't return the same thing twice with the same reciept! Just thought I'd let you know!

(Submitted by SpookTheHamster )

WHOOOHOOOOOOO 115TH POST *does one hundred and fifthteenth poster snooze* oh my god im so happy. now onto the sex related comments. ooh a box i wonder what yer gonna 'do' in there. and MORE facial tissue? derek you must be a very busy man with those magazines......and a vacuum cleaner to help.

(Submitted by MOGGEE )

"Mr. Sparkle" has Homer Simpson's head on the box. It really scared him.

(Submitted by Gern Blandston )

*proudly answering* what is testicular cancer, Alex?

(Submitted by Jay )

Again, my birthday :)