Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Abi )

First poster yahoo!!!

(Submitted by Terry )

Under Abi YAHOO!!!

(Submitted by newboy )

Is it safe to mix all that popcorn and propfuel in the same locale?

(Submitted by Abi )

Hey Terry - D's WAY ahead of you - he needs THREE tubs of popcorn!!! Unless you & lieu are watching videos with him tonight....

(Submitted by newboy )

Thats an evening that will go with a bang

(Submitted by Abi )

Isn't PROP FUEL what you use as cologne, T?

(Submitted by Terry )

Sorry Abs, not that there's anything WRONG with that, but I prefer to START my OWN BUttered POPCORN follies with someone who doesn't use MOUTHWASH afterwards...

(Submitted by Habib )

PROP FUEL tank...that's where I set my schnitzel when I ride...

(Submitted by Abi )

you want to be careful Habib, make sure you leave the bike in the shade....

(Submitted by Sparky )

I don't know what kind of beer BINDER is, but DAMN, a CASE for under 8 bucks. Must be some GOOD stuff...do you chase it with the PROP FUEL?

(Submitted by newboy )

Thats what the mouthwash is for, (and the deoderant)

(Submitted by Abi )

BTW - hello newboy.

(Submitted by newboy )

Cheers Abi, Hi all

(Submitted by Coach )

If he's still got the AIM N FLAME, he could use the PROP FUEL to START OWN BUtt gas on fire.

(Submitted by Huh? )

Mouthwash, deodorant and lots of popcorn!?? 409 to clean the TV screen??!! Woohoo, send the kid to grandma’s cause it’s date night!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! Break out the tape!!!!

(Submitted by Huh? )

I'm imagining lots of Pause-n- Play going on there!!! It is Friday night, ya know!!!

(Submitted by Dilligaf )

Very impressive, man. This is by far the best looking receipt yet. Nice centering, smoothly textured, unlike most, that look like you've been making origami rocks out of 'em before you scan 'em, even the tearage is not horrible, although a bit sloppy...

(Submitted by roman guy )

beer & popcorn? high v dude!

(Submitted by lieu )

righto, dilligaf. appears their serrated cutter strip robs peter to pay paul each time. they must have got a deal on it from my circumcisionist.

(Submitted by Heinrich Guggenheimersteinberg )

START OWN BUsiness? For $3.15? Doesn't ANYBODY inherit money anymore?

(Submitted by anna nicole )

apparently not.

(Submitted by lorena )

who's paul and what do i owe him?

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

I think it's safe to say, Heinrich Gugenheimersteinberg has caught my eye.

(Submitted by Idi Amin )

How does one get to be so lucky?

(Submitted by pierpoint dupont rockefeller )

in children we trust.

(Submitted by Wood, Kerry Wood )

*shaken, not stirred*

(Submitted by the_germanaic )

I hear Kerry was feeling a little stiff yesterday. I wonder if I had anything to do with it.

(Submitted by Heinrich )

Ich möchte Sie mit POPCORN, bedecken und möchte es ab ein kernal auf einmal, süß germaniac essen.

(Submitted by in alou of moises )

your cubs are kicking my as*tros. what's in that gum anyway?

(Submitted by the_frenchillada )

my german's pretty much limited to "the boat". which halls will you bedecken and how is herr klink, the colonel?

(Submitted by Jack )

I know some Hawaiian...Aloha, and Bookem Danno...

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

ahhhhh, ja ja. Ich will ficken herr Heinrich. Ist gut?

(Submitted by lieu )

the last time terry and i went over to derek's, he was out of toilet paper so we had to prep with teflon spray. i hate to be a hard ass butt could you pick up a little sparkle 8 roll on your way home, big guy?

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

DO NOT tell me that I'm missing big ENVELOPE orgies at Derek's house, complete with POPCORN and nanners.

(Submitted by Terry )

Dude...didn't you see those towels under the sink? Any port wiper in a storm, I always say...

(Submitted by lieu )

ha! no, i quit looking for towels since i found the "his" & "his" under timmy's sink. besides, didn't you see the toothpaste stains?

(Submitted by dennis miller )

i don't mean to get off on a deoderant here, but damn, your armpits have run ol' glory straight up the flagpole.

(Submitted by Summer of Love )

She's so fine, my 409. Her twin gives me a thrill, that bitchin' Refill.

(Submitted by the colonel )

what's popcorn x? popporn?

(Submitted by dennis miller )

Y'know, I haven't seen anything so funny since Bernoulli tried to prove his theory of lift by farting under an aircraft wing.

(Submitted by norman greenspan )

you're paying 6.5%? hmmm... another .4 and you'll really think you're getting f*cked.

(Submitted by gary shandling )

what a dumbass. he should have stuck with hot air balooning.

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

YOU FORGOT TO BUY THE MOVIE FOR THE DATE.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

I personally prefer it when somebody else STARTs my BU. But when desperate enough, I will START my OWN BU.

(Submitted by susiewiththehangover )

That's why we keep the boostercable handy for you Chicq

(Submitted by Lloyd )

I know Chiq...I've worked with Chiq...there's not a BOOSTERCABLE made that can handle Chiq...

(Submitted by Towels are often kept in a linen closet, but whatever )

What kind of business will the video or magazine help you start? A porn site like the one that got that reject like 1300+ years of jail? I advise against it derek.

(Submitted by juggalo )

When in the hell is he going to buy some beer? I just found this site and it has taken me about 3 and a half hours and a case of beer to get to 2001. Damn this mofo hgas some receipts

(Submitted by juggalo )

okay i know that i am anew person but i feel like i have bonded with matt kreiger. i am still reading and waiting for the climax but i am looking for the receipt with the ps2 on it i hope i can contain myself till then

(Submitted by susie )

Or you could contain yourself in the CORR BX......*demonstrating jumping in and out of the toaster box*

(Submitted by Anonymous )

TAOKIALCBW, are you writing a book? If so, how 'bout kissing my ass and making it a love story...

(Submitted by Bot From Balmain )

Thanks for revealing my sources Abi! I was going to keep quiet about the unfortunate incident of the lost weekend, Susie and tequila slammers, but you have forced my hand!

(Submitted by Terry )

I know what you mean BB, she's forced my hand a few times too...

(Submitted by Abi )

Sorry BB. Hey, Terry, I cannot believe that you have ever been forced to do anything

(Submitted by susie )

I have been forced to drink tequila....

(Submitted by Terry )

That reminds me of when I was back in the Army doing paratrooper training, and it was my turn to jump. Now I've never been one to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, and wasn't about to start now. Anyhoo, my C.O. came over to me, and told me if I didn't jump, he was gonna stick his manhood where the sun doesn't shine.

(Submitted by Habib )

Well, did you jump?

(Submitted by Terry )

Yeah, a little bit...

(Submitted by Private Benjamin )

that wasn't C.O. timmy! was it?

(Submitted by Mrs. Eunice Gutrumble )

Edgar and I were at our neighborhood Wal*Mart the other day visiting with some of the greeters from our retirement community and exchanging our tax rebate checks for economy volumes of Depends. As I bent over to pick up one of these wiper diaper packages, the Beano I'd sprinkled on my Metamucil that morning failed me and I fired a shot across Edgar's bow. With teary eyes, we both started laughing about the first time we'd had sex like our dogs, Porgy & Bess. It was after the all-you-can-eat at El Fenix and Edgar's manhood fit me like a cork. He got all excited and was bouncing my innards around making me feel quite gassy. When I started to complain he cried "Oh blow it out your ass, Eunice"... so I did. Visits to Wal*Mart always brings back such fond memories for us. Such a nice store. Such nice young people. Thank you.

(Submitted by Matt Krieg )

Clean-up on aisle two, please... Clean-up on aisle two.

(Submitted by Anonymous )

What exactly is the point of this reciept thing?

(Submitted by lieu )

to see who can spell.

(Submitted by outhouse )

i before ye, especially when u pee.

(Submitted by YKW )

timmy comes home from school and his mother asks him what he did in school today. "I had sex with my teacher!" timmy replied. "YOU WHAT?" the mother screamed. "You just wait until your father gets home, young man! Now get upstairs to your room!" Later that evening the father comes home and is told about his sons escapades at school that day. He goes into his sons room and puts his arm around the boy. "Son", he says, "I suppose I should be mad at you but I just can't help but be proud of you. I mean, what I wouldn't have given to do that at your age! In fact, I'm so proud I'm going to buy you a new bike! How's that?" timmy replies, "Gee, thanks anyway Dad but my ass is still kind of sore from school."

(Submitted by Snowpea )

Get A Life Man! Or at the very least get a job!

(Submitted by lieu )

so he "received an a miner"?

(Submitted by Frank Zappa )

My job's identifying people who obviously ate the yellow snow.

(Submitted by Nanook )

"and the husky weewee and the doggie weewee certainly f*cked-up Snowpea"

(Submitted by Ghandi )

I'd find snowpea quite refreshing.

(Submitted by Frozen urine specimen )

Hey! That name's already taken!

(Submitted by lieu )

we laugh at the absurdity of a castaway talking to a volyball, yet here we are conversing with the net. i don't know what this world is comming to butt chances are you'll find it here and cheaper by the dozen.

(Submitted by Huh? )

Eunice, the local care center for seniors has begun giving viagra to the old men each night...It seems it keeps them from rolling out of bed!

(Submitted by The Knight Lighter )

Yeah, but it makes their John Thomas light up like E.T.'s finger.

(Submitted by TIMMeadows,okaY )

don't fill up your mouthwash with that refill or you might be like Eunice there.

(Submitted by aagghhh )

lieu, you are way too cute

(Submitted by Snowpea )

Get A Life! You must have that Visa card maxed out by now.

(Submitted by Natty Dread )

I know I'm in the minority here, but I kind of miss Darryl Marchetta.

(Submitted by Toode )

My wife, Snowpea, just gave her comments. Here is mine. I've always heard that people should do one thing, and do it well. You have found your niche, and it is unique. Everyone is just jealous cause they didn't think of it first. Keep up the good receipting!!!

(Submitted by Travis )

Snowpea and Toode seem to be having their difficulties. It seems all I can do is laugh. hahahaha

(Submitted by Not In Majorca anymore )

What are Visa cards for, if not to max out? I have left a string of broken-hearted bank managers behind me, as it is easier to do a Skase than pay off the balance ...

(Submitted by Christopher )

I don't think I can stomach this any more...

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Christopher, I have just the remedy you need. Take 2 teaspoonsful of this PROP FUEL & post again in the morning.

(Submitted by lieu )

me thinks toode is a fairly righteous guy. they must have a hooters in his hometown.

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

HOW DARE you ask for Darryl Marchetta? You slimy piece of puke. He will never compare to pure, germanic goodness of Matt Krieg.

(Submitted by Abi )

YKW - finish the story, did timmy get his bike in the end?

(Submitted by Curious )

Yucky Kneed Woman?

(Submitted by Furious )

Young Korean Wife?

(Submitted by Spurious )

Yugoslavian Kickboxing Warmonger?

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

Yummy Kitten Whip?

(Submitted by in lieu of elmer )

you kwazy wabbit?

(Submitted by Librarian )

Yankee Knickerbocker Writer?

(Submitted by Wal*Fixture )

Yak Kurd Wasabi?

(Submitted by lieu )

you know what?

(Submitted by Abi )

what?

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

chicken butt

(Submitted by Terry )

Germy, I'd suggest you use some MOUTHWASH...such language.

(Submitted by Abi )

I agree, chicken is SO rude...

(Submitted by jeremiah johnson )

son, go down and check the traps and bring back some prop fuel... and keep an eye out for mouthwash!

(Submitted by harlan sanders )

parts is parts.

(Submitted by the mysterian )

why did the pervert cross the road?

(Submitted by Abi )

why?

(Submitted by the mysterian )

to get to the chicken butt.

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

I don't like all of this fowl language

(Submitted by lieu )

why did the pervert wish the chicken had lips?

(Submitted by Muff )

And I thought skydiving was fun.

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

Don't think I didn't see your email address lieu. Don't worry, you'll be going down tonight. And not on me either.

(Submitted by lieu )

then i lose twice. yeah, what chance does our 9 and 2 have against your 8 and 8? a snowpea's chance in heck?

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

you're just lucky Kerry's shoulder's bothering him after some 'light tossing' with me in the bullpen of love. Otherwise he'd be scorching ya.

(Submitted by in alieu of moises )

we'd bat 409 REFILLing the stands with yard balls against him. and sammy? he'll START his OWN BUnt collection against our high heaters.

(Submitted by Charise )

My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Kerry pass out at Der Wienerfest last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

Yeah, he passed out, but I just kept on until I could take no more rahmschnitzel

(Submitted by e.e. cummings )

germey, you bring out the best in me.

(Submitted by morbid joke, don't look )

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken!

(Submitted by i have the answer )

YKW probably stands for "Queer".

(Submitted by Dan )

Dude, after 3 tubs of popcorn, I would need mouthwash and deoderant too. After digesting 3 tubs of popcorn, I would need the 409.

(Submitted by newboy )

Nobondy can digest 3 tubs of popcorn. The propfuel is there to blow it through

(Submitted by Ashamed )

I am curious why in the h-e- double hockey sticks you have your Visa number posted for the world to see?

(Submitted by not ashamed )

explanations that the number is not, in fact, his visa number abound on the site for the world to see too butt what good do they do? mebbe it is safe just to go ahead and put the real thing up there.

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

I just wanted to stop by and say HEY to all the ASTROS fans out there. In lieu of a win, you recieved the white hot wrath of Augie Ojeda.

(Submitted by dennis miller )

i don't mean to get off on a deoderant here butt it's about as likely that that's his visa number as it is you'll find a chrome naked chick on a mud flap at lillith fair.

(Submitted by in lieu of a win )

hi germey! stop by the i am site for your concession speech. *trudge*

(Submitted by Chiqca )

*peeking out of toaster box* Hey y'all, I'm trying like h- e-double hockey sticks [thanks Ashamed, I love that] to get my OWN BU STARTed in here, but not having much luck. Would somebody please pass me the BOOSTERCABLE? Much obliged.

(Submitted by newboy )

h- e- double hockeysticks? I think I preferred it when we were using the tape.

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

hey all you ENVELOPES and nanners: my website address has changed: http:// www.geocities.com/jarbabyj just in case you care.

(Submitted by Retard )

I couldn't find it.

(Submitted by Teen C. Brane )

www.clitoris.com

(Submitted by lieu )

oooh, that one tickles me pink...

(Submitted by Tall, dark, handsome Welder )

Leave off the http// crap, start @ the www. Be vewy, vewy bwave...

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

hey there welder! Wanna go arc some sparks?

(Submitted by pipefitter )

jeez, some guys have all the luck.

(Submitted by tom sawyer )

me? i'm just having fun using this MOUTHWASH. what are you doing?

(Submitted by Habib )

What are YOU doing...

(Submitted by steve martin )

what the hell is that?

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

I'm so jealous of the Houston Astros. They got to be spanked last night.

(Submitted by Bill Murray )

What the hell is THAT?

(Submitted by lieu )

thank you. may i have another, sir?

(Submitted by YKW )

A blonde walks into a library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?" The librarian says, "I'm sorry, this is a library." So the blonde whispers, "Can I have a burger and fries?"

(Submitted by the_germaniac )

YKW - Young Kerry Wood?

(Submitted by NAACP )

Yo! Kill Whitey!

(Submitted by o. sean rider )

yippee! knarley waves.

(Submitted by yoko )

you know walrus?

(Submitted by cubs vendor )

yellow kitty wieners! get 'em here while they're hot. yellow kitty wieners!

(Submitted by Richard Stroker )

Yellow Kitty Wieners? Where do they get those? From "Scaredy Cats"? *puke*

(Submitted by very )

Wow that Matt Kreig dude must be a good manager, being there since '97!

(Submitted by C. E. Oooh )

My secretary's been here since '97 and she can't even take a proper message. She does, however, have really big tits.

(Submitted by The Welder )

There's this girl on the train, she keeps staring at me ... I'd fancy her, but she has this little hitler moustache.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

Welder, just slap a piece of TAPE on that moustache & rip it off fast (like a band aid). She'll be smooth-lipped in no time.

(Submitted by lieu )

not so fast... you ever had a blow job by a hitler?

(Submitted by Chiq )

lieu, you're scaring me.

(Submitted by in lieu of reed )

i know, chiq. sometimes i wonder if god ever looks down and considers becoming an athiest.

(Submitted by Humpty )

You guys are crackin' me up...

(Submitted by God )

Good question, in lieu of my son, but since I've taken the Scientology Workshop Course, I now Believe in Myself!!! (BTW, don't worry, that incident with the triplets...that won't keep you out...)

(Submitted by Huh? )

Tape? Mustache? Good golly y'all are turnin' me on!

(Submitted by Huh? )

Did anybody buy the Book of Pooh? Does anyone plan on cashing a tax check at Matt Krieg's Wal-Mart? Do tell!

(Submitted by John Travolta )

The Scientology Workshop is wonderful and I highly recommend it. In fact, I met my wife there.

(Submitted by Allegra )

Now the whole world knows that the staff at Matt Kreig's Wal-Mart can't spell. "Deoderant" aw-shucks.

(Submitted by dragonzgaze )

okay someone spends waaaaayyyyyyyyy too much time at Wal-Mart. Is it the only store where you are, or are you just masochistic?

(Submitted by rick@walmart#2345in new albany ohio )

under everbody wooooohoooooo it sort of smells down here

(Submitted by Brooke )

hey this is my birthday!

(Submitted by kuroneko )

i like pie

(Submitted by MOGGEE )

I agree with Dilligaf. This is one of the best receipts I've seen. The upper and lower right side needs some clean-up work though. I suspect the teller was left handed, female, about 125lbs, and has to reach up to tear the reciept from the register. I also imagine she's wearing her old Catholic School uniform.. but that's another story