Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Mary )

This is just toooooo funny, I am not sure why I find this so amusing, but I do..... Hello Betty! Thanks for turning me on to this site... oh yeah, I am supposed to comment on this receipt.... gotta cold? and want to take pic's of it? (ok, Kinda lame... it's late, I apologize) hahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Woo hoo! Destiny's becoming a WalMart evangelist at Calvin Coolidge Elementary! "Here you are, Miss Peach, use one of mine, only WalMart pencils stay sharp all day long!"

(Submitted by Abi )

I'm struck dumb by the sheer artistry of this receipt *deep sigh*

(Submitted by Before, During, and after. )

Vasaline?

(Submitted by newboy )

Wal Mart really do supply all markets, headquarters for the school supply of drugs? That would make an interesting tester stand in the market!!!

(Submitted by Jambea )

hey, that pencil scanned in alot nicer than I would have thought! Since no one else had the decency to dance, i suppose I will. WOOOO! *dancing* Yeah! WHATEVER PLACE! I'm so happy I could use two of the boxes of Kleenex, if only what they were, instead of some generic Puff's knockoffs.

(Submitted by Jambea )

oh, my english no good

(Submitted by Big Sam's Security Forces )

ummmmm, Sir, you will have to come back into the store. You did not pay for that pencil.

(Submitted by Chiq )

Derek, that's so sweet that you're going to take pictures of your baby as she goes off to her first day of school. Just a little tip, though, if you want her to make friends... don't make her use the W*M pencil. Jambea, thanks for the dance :)

(Submitted by dragonzgaze )

woo hoo poster number 10, i feel so honored. You know you would think that out of the billions of dollars that wal-mart makes a year they could afford something a little more extravegent then a pencil as your free gift. Derrek, are those Kleenex knockoffs, or are they the real thing?

(Submitted by H Hefner )

Tissues and film? I don't want any part of that photo- shoot

(Submitted by Labrador Retriever )

First I would shred the tissue paper to pieces. Then I would pull all of the film out of the roll. Then I would devour the pencil. But I would just sniff the counter card and turn my head curiously becuase, what the heck is a counter card, anyway?

(Submitted by Mikey from the corner )

explanations of what counter cards are abound on the site for the world to see, butt what good do they do?

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

HI PPL! DEREK DID U SNEEZE? IF SO, BLESS YOU!

(Submitted by Labrador Retriever )

Looked around to find out what a COUNTER CARD is, couldn't find any answers, got impatient, so I just ate the thing!

(Submitted by justme )

Hi everyone, I have been enjoying this site for about a month now, but this is my first post. I noticed on this receipt that the counter cards are coming back, and like everyone else, I'm lost..what is a counter card. Derek please help me.

(Submitted by Labrador Retriever )

I don't know what counter cards are, but they sure don't digest very well.

(Submitted by Huh? )

I believe a "counter card" is a greeting card! You CAN purchase Hallmark there when you only want to send the very best. Nothing says " I care " more than a Wal-Mart greeting card! It's someone's special day, alrighty then!

(Submitted by Huh? )

And would someone tell that Lab to quit sniffing me?

(Submitted by Pee Wee )

I WANT A WAL-MART PENCIL AND I'M GOING TO HAVE A FIT IF I DON'T GET ONE.

(Submitted by Labrador Retriever )

I think I am eligible for 7 counter cards a year.

(Submitted by paintedpainful )

one pack of tissues for everybody! One for Derek, on for CARP, and one for CHORE BOY. He's so considerate! but I bet they're fighting like made over that pencil!

(Submitted by justme )

Derek, may I borrow some tissues please, that lab just pee'd on me.

(Submitted by SoBored )

I'm guessing the tissues are for the little one's first day of school...

(Submitted by BadJokeCentral )

Did you hear about the constipated maths teahcer? He worked it out with a pencil and paper ...

(Submitted by Huh? )

Would someone tell that Lab to quit HUMPING the counter card?

(Submitted by Fred Farkle )

Sam's Club has facial tissu for $1.98 for a pallet load. That would be a little cheaper.

(Submitted by dragonzgaze )

you know after days of debate if finally dawned on me that counter cards are those greeting cards. Derrek, do you only buy knockoffs, first the tissue, and now the counter card. Shame on you.

(Submitted by hey, back up off! )

Walmart counter cards are better! And you don't send your kid to school with good tissue, you know why? Because they're just gonna use it as an excuse to get up and kick their friend and then throw the unused generic kleenex away. Ok?

(Submitted by lieu )

that must have been a real tear jerker of a card. c'mon son, give that neck a rest.

(Submitted by Chris Wyld is a gay loser! )

it's the only time he's ever cried, and he wants to get pictures, let the man be!

(Submitted by Daffy )

Why the copious flow of lachrymal fluid?

(Submitted by Matt Krieg's #2 Fan )

That facial tissue is A-#1 top quality AND the best price because Matt Krieg wouldn't sell anything less. Why, Matt searches the globe, attending FACIAL TISSU conferences worldwide in search of the perfect Puff! Matt Krieg is a God! Matt Krieg is Perfection! Matt Krieg IS #1 in customer satisfaction!!!!!!!

(Submitted by Huh? )

Hey Daffy, say it don't spray it!

(Submitted by Dharma )

What an unrestrained imagination you have! Very uplifting to know that there are still a few gifted and creative comics cruising the universe.

(Submitted by Dharma )

What an unrestrained imagination you have! Very uplifting to know that there are still a few gifted and creative comics cruising the universe.

(Submitted by Dharma )

What an unrestrained imagination you have! Very uplifting to know that there are still a few gifted and creative comics cruising the universe.

(Submitted by mel tillis )

i can help you with that.

(Submitted by Greg )

DAMN! I've always wanted a threesome...

(Submitted by three consecutive )

bad for karma

(Submitted by Huh? )

(tsk tsk tsk) Dharma, watch that refresh button...

(Submitted by Pee Wee )

What an unrestrained refresh key you have! Very uplifting to know that there are still a few gifted and creative refreshers cruising the universe.

(Submitted by Pee Wee )

What an refresh key you have! Very uplifting to know that there are still a few gifted and creative refreshers cruising the universe.

(Submitted by abby )

i liked it so much i did it twice..

(Submitted by newboy )

I hope that retrievers OK after eating the card, we havn't heard from it for a while......

(Submitted by lieu )

i'll let my dog lick my face after he's eaten a counter card butt whenever i see him eating cat poop i comment to my wife that he looks really lonely.

(Submitted by Labrador Retriever )

Well, I can tell you that a counter card is not food. It didn't taste nearly as good as kitty nuggets. It really hurt coming out. What does Walmart look like inside? I always get left in the car. Petsmart rocks, though, because I get to go in and eat biscuits and urinate on the cat toys.

(Submitted by Huh? )

Urinate????!! And here I always say PEE! That Lab must be one of those fancy pedigreed dogs?

(Submitted by Marx, Groucho Marx )

You know, man's best friend outside of a dog is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read ...

(Submitted by Fucker )

This site sux. Find something better to do with your time.

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Hooray! Someone reading the site, saying it is a waste of time to read the site! Any suggestions on what is worthwhile to do, or do you spend your time trawling only the worthless sites?

(Submitted by Cakes )

I can't wait to see if they come back and read these worthless comments.....

(Submitted by Lou Zerr )

No, I'm NOT gonna come back and read these worthless comments...

(Submitted by ???????????????? )

?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????

(Submitted by Robbie )

Your site is still the best (and the dumbest but still the best) site in the world! Keep being a consumer man! It's the essence of life!

(Submitted by Robbie )

Your site is still the best (and the dumbest but still the best) site in the world! Keep being a consumer man! It's the essence of life!

(Submitted by Robbie )

Your site is still the best (and the dumbest but still the best) site in the world! Keep being a consumer man! It's the essence of life!

(Submitted by Huh? )

What is up with all this text stringing out? Did that damn Budweiser guy visit again? And Robbie, meet Dharma. Dharma, meet Robbie.

(Submitted by Andre )

In the absence of Dally, I'm somewhat...you know...kinda turned on by "Fucker". Sounds so butch. I wouldn't mind a bit of eponymising in my direction. Well, it would sure beat a labrador up the cat flap. The whi-i-i-iiiiiiite globe......................... .......

(Submitted by Andre )

In the absence of Dally, I'm somewhat...you know...kinda turned on by "Fucker". Sounds so butch. I wouldn't mind a bit of eponymising in my direction. Well, it would sure beat a labrador up the cat flap. The whi-i-i-iiiiiiite globe......................... .......

(Submitted by BeaverKing )

is matt kriege better than that other guy does anyone miss him. what happened to him... did he move up the ole walmart ladder or what

(Submitted by BeaverKing )

anyone read what ole barney posted on jan 6 2001. holy crap!!

(Submitted by Cakes )

BeaverKing - an interesting aside here, the stuff that barney posted appears as a weekly column in the Guardian Newspaper's saturday magazine over here......

(Submitted by Chiq )

Am I the only one who hasn't received a tax rebate check, yet? Everytime I look at this receipt it's as if it's taunting me.

(Submitted by lieu )

i got mine last week, chiq. i now can afford seperate ointments to insure that while my hemmoroids stay small, my gums don't shrink too in the process.

(Submitted by Jimbo )

I haven't recieved mine, either, which sux since I was gonna spend it on anti-bush propaganda and now I'm behind schedule and nobody knows what a dumbass he is!

(Submitted by Mikey from yonder corner )

Well, will you look at that PROJECTED surplus? Let's give it all away, in a lame attempt to stimulate the economy. Oh! Not enough money in the treasury? Well, it looks like these funds here won't be missed for a couple years, just use them!

(Submitted by Huh? )

Dharma meet Robbie meet Andre meet Dharma.

(Submitted by Huh? )

Dharma meet Robbie meet Andre meet Dharma.

(Submitted by did you say something? )

*chuckle*

(Submitted by Elvis has left the building )

echo... echo...

(Submitted by Martha and Her Muffin )

...far away in time...

(Submitted by hung way low )

anyone else horny ?????

(Submitted by susie )

Derek must be an extra in a B vampire movie with all that facial tissue he uses

(Submitted by cakes )

He's probably using the hairy scar too....the ultimate in b movie accessories.

(Submitted by suzie )

We would like to play the Germans every week at football, we enjoy it. Here,Germaniac, cheer up *handing out Sparkle8rol*

(Submitted by Der Ossie Fussballer )

Nezt time, Englander, ve vill haff zer final zolution! Zwei goalkeeperz! Und no funny biznuss in zer goal skvare! Blitzkrieg, ja?

(Submitted by BeaverKing )

Thanks Cakes...but why would anyone want to read that stuff?? well I am looking at some guys reciepts okay I am going to shut up now

(Submitted by Newboy )

Cakes, Is that the Guardian in the UK, as I have always wondered whether he is in jail now..... (Barney that is, not the Guardian)

(Submitted by Balmain"bop"Boy )

If Barney Millington is shacked up with that evil hausfrau, who bops him in the face 4 days every month, well that is a kinda gaol in itself....

(Submitted by Cakes )

Yup Newboy, that's the Guardian newspaper in the UK. And if Barney is Mil Millington, he's escaped.....

(Submitted by Newboy )

Thanks Cakes, Im off to hunt for the sequel to this great love story, might need D's facial tissues (for the tears). HHmm, more brackets containing dodgy explanations

(Submitted by Cakes )

you need to look under the listing for saturday, in the weekend section.....good luck!

(Submitted by Newboy )

I found Mils website, complete with foto's. http://homepage.ntlworld.com/m il.millington/things.html Apparently he is still alive and with Margret, although still suffering. Maybe jail would be better?????

(Submitted by Cakes )

ta Newboy - nice to know he's still alive!!!

(Submitted by football fan )

five one, five one, five one, five one........oh yessss!!!

(Submitted by Chiq )

Well, ALL I want to know is who the fluff is this Mil person & does he have my tax rebate check???

(Submitted by cakes )

*waving my slinky at Chiq* it's a long story but - Barney posted a long story on a Jan receipt - see above, and I recognised it as from a weekly column in one of the newspapers over here, by a guy called Mil Millington. That's where it all started from.....

(Submitted by Chiq )

*waving my WHITE GLOB back atcha* Thanks, Cakes. I don't get out of the toaster box much these days so I appreciate the info. Snog!!

(Submitted by cakes )

It's been WAY to quiet in here for too long, come on, where is everyone - nanners & snogz for all!!!!

(Submitted by mark, the rifleboy )

butt pa, i don't want another nanner!

(Submitted by she's your pa? )

A drunk had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing, so the drunk stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. __ He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the four blocks to his home. __ When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep the second his head hit the pillow. __ He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!!" _"What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look. _ "The pub called...you left your wheelchair there again."

(Submitted by BBoy )

Is that the right Mil Millington address? I'm getting page not found ...

(Submitted by Jake the pissant )

I am thinking that maybe you ought to erase the space in the middle. Fairly complex, yet simple once you know. Happened to me too. Twice.

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Doh! Thanks Jake! And you can tell he's a writer as he has, in his study, a curtain pattern of typewriter keys ... there's a tip for you, Dally.

(Submitted by Unknown Associate )

3 boxes of facial tissue? What are we doin, stocking up for post-y2k fall out? And at leas tbuy the good stuff, that cheap 88 cent crap feels like sandpaper. And I would hate to pay your credit card bill, judging by how much it's used.

(Submitted by cakes )

oh my god - I'm a father......

(Submitted by Newboy )

Sorry guys, not sure how that space crept in there....

(Submitted by Newboy )

Damn refresh, congratulations Cakes

(Submitted by suzie )

??? BB, is Dally here? Cakes, I thought you were a girl? Keyboard patterns? Did I miss something?

(Submitted by cakes )

I'm definitely a girl Suzie, I like kittens and flowers.....and boys!

(Submitted by cakes )

just as an aside - who's mark's mother....

(Submitted by John Inman )

I like kittens and flowers and boys - so what does that make me?

(Submitted by Newboy )

Mark's other father????

(Submitted by LeichhardtLad )

..perhaps Barney is Jim Gillespie, plagiarising Mil Millinton in a different forum. (see the http page above, then the link at the bottom of the page)

(Submitted by OnO! )

Now look what you've done Suzie, those tequila slammers have surely turned our Abi into a HAB!!!

(Submitted by Big Brother )

Excuse my interjection, but I will not tolerate ANYONE disparaging the good name of Cakes. As it is, she will ALWAYS be a "B", but as one who knows, never a HA...(I've got pics for the doubters out there.) Smooth, creamy, easy to spread...just like peanut butter...peanut butter cakes...ahhhhh, pure joy. You should be ashamed of yourself, wicked poster...

(Submitted by Lars von Tryhard )

Is that a Dogma film you intend to make, Derek? If so, please fork over large quantities of folding money for the American rights.

(Submitted by The Director )

No, I think he may be planning a snuff movie - any budding stars out there looking for their 5 minutes of fame?

(Submitted by cakes )

there's a first, I've never been compared to peanut butter before....you're a real gent Big Bro. You can have a snog!

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Cakes, that's definitely better than being compared to a WHITE GLOB.

(Submitted by Cakes )

that's very true, and I won't mention the pen thing from last year......have a snog instead!

(Submitted by BeaverKing )

what is a snog??? and when is derek going shopping again? BeaverKing sez "give me reciepts!!!!"

(Submitted by Oscular Exercise )

*says* snog .... *thinks* tonsil hockey

(Submitted by Roadrunner )

Tonsil hockey? Sumthin about that just don't sound rite.

(Submitted by Cakes )

you've never experienced a *snog*.....you've not lived....

(Submitted by Chiq )

Oh BeaverKing, a snog is right up there with a nanner tickle. And both require copious amounts of FACIAL TISSU. Hence, I think we know what Der's been up to.

(Submitted by Beavis )

heh heh heh heh heh...she said "copious"...heh heh heh heh heh

(Submitted by suzie )

*jumping up and down in the toaster box* I would like to get this thing airborne, I want to see the world......

(Submitted by BigBadBalBoy )

Ladies and gentlemen, the emergency exit is here *pointing at sky* .. the oxygen masks are here *pointing at picture of mask held up by purser* and your captain today is Franz Stubing *pointing at man with flippers and snorkel*. Have a nice day, and thank you for travelling with Flying Fargo!

(Submitted by Trolly Dolly )

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard the Toaster Box. Can I help you to refreshments? We have a nice selection of WHITE GLOBS, HAIRY SCARS and a limited supply of HUMAN SKULLS. *mincing through the aisle*

(Submitted by Frances )

You seem to lead a very boring life...no offence but look at your web site!! oh well to each their own i guess...hahahaha

(Submitted by Hank )

Yeah Derek...why don't you go do something exciting like Frances does...like, check out people's boring websites, and then make comments on 'em.

(Submitted by Winer )

Or perhaps you could read to her from a book on grammar and/or spelling. Then she would benefit, too.

(Submitted by Dr W. )

don't think she would as she wouldn't understand, don't thinbk she has got past the gaa-gaa stage of vocal development yet - you know the sounds that babies make! come to think of it, don't think that you have either! here take this dummy, and go and sit in your cot and be quiet!

(Submitted by Dr. Ruth )

Of course zit iz natural to masturbate with ze vegetables. Vhy do you ask?

(Submitted by Dr W. )

wanted dead or alive, annoying midget with phoney accent, reward available. PS would prefer dead!

(Submitted by Dr. Ruth )

Uh oh. Zit iz not natural to eat zim afterwards, Dr. W.

(Submitted by Pee Wee )

** tsk tsk tsk *** <<shaking head>> Frances, go way way away..... YOU bore me!

(Submitted by Immature )

Let's make fun of Frances: FRANCES the Talking Mule! Frances frys FACIAL TISSU! Frances f**cks Fools!

(Submitted by Kerry Kim Bobbie )

Frances has one of those stupid names that can be for a boy or a girl! Nyaa nyaa .. uh.. oops!

(Submitted by Pamida Co. )

Down with Walmart. We are a dieing race of quality, cheap, white trash discount stores....and our CDs are UNEDITED! So come on over to Pamida where the service says "how you doin'?"

(Submitted by Jose, king of thieves )

uh, but it's for white trash. I don't think anyone that fits that specification is on this site. Badly placed advertisement. Well, maybe I'll drop by, not that I'm white trash or anything. Of course not.

(Submitted by Jose, really just prince of thieves )

Hey, uh, derek isn't it, um, you boycotting wal~mart or something? I mean, that's fine and all, but I don't want to have to call matt krieg about it. I knew you'd see it my way, k, bye.

(Submitted by suzie )

America America? What has happened?

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Truth stranger than fiction? Readers of Tom Clancy's "Debt of Honor", where an airline pilot steers his plane into the U.S. Capitol to avenge his country's loss at war, would have had a shock of recognition at today's events and pondered if that might have been the target of the 4th plane.

(Submitted by Cakes )

For once I can't think of anything to say.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

*climbing into the toaster box to cry for a while*

(Submitted by lieu )

we're all numb. to think that anyone would hate the u.s. so much as to carry out the savage and deliberate murder of thousands of innocents in a most horrendous fashion was previously beyond our comprehension. we've always had to play the role of policeman to the world, along with others like britain, australia and france, and we frequently get sh*t on because of it. they don't have a clue what the u.s. is about, nor will they enjoy the anger that's beginning to well up inside of her. this changes everything. we're a different country today. the world is a different place.

(Submitted by Huh? )

<< patting shoulder, handing over tissues >> I agree with Lieu and it's hard not to be bitter. And Chiq, move over 'cuz I'm climbing in and I have a feeling there will be lots more of us who want to stay in the toaster box. It's safer in there ....

(Submitted by Huh? )

<< squishy noise >> Oh s**t I just sat on a nanner.

(Submitted by Chiqca )

ba-da-bump! A little levity compliments of Huh?

(Submitted by Mikey in the corner )

Rarely have I felt such anger. To purposely kill thousands of peopIe for no reason is horrible. I am sick of people, like today on I am, badmouthing america, especially right after a tragedy. Never have I seen this many deaths dismissed as "crap".

(Submitted by Abi )

the world is a different place today, and that's what scares me. *sitting down next to Chiq & Huh?*

(Submitted by Huh? )

All are welcome in our toaster box.

(Submitted by Huh? )

...but watch our for those nanners ......

(Submitted by i saw elvis making crop circles )

y'all, drive carefully. 90% of all people are caused by accidents. Join the Army: travel to exotic, distant lands; meet exciting, unusual people, and kill them

(Submitted by Gern Blandston )

Please... where Alex Trebek when you need him?? *looking longingly*